Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Karen Drucker

  • Alone Together

    I found these words so beautiful….

    And if its true we are alone,
    we are alone together,
    the way blades of grass are alone,
    but exist in a field.

    ~Rupert Spira Guided Meditation:
    Wherever You Turn, There is the Face of God

    You might appreciate Karen Drucker’s singing The Face of God that we used as our closing at Saint John’s UCC on Sunday.

    I was jarred awake early this morning by a Charley horse in the calf of my left leg. Moaning softly, “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” instinctively I began to press my index finger hard onto the space between my upper lip and my nose. Finally, I was able to pant-breathe sufficiently to put my foot on the floor and begin to gingerly walk it off….

    How like life? We plan, plan, plan — then life happens. It often comes suddenly, even when it is expected. A week ago we had to use air conditioning. Now the furnace is on. The conditions of life change as quickly and as drastically as the weather. What is it (what of us?) remains constant?

    The following thought was taken from one of Rupert Spira’s in-person retreats at The Vedanta from 17th to 24th September, 2022, in answer to a young woman’s question about her father’s consciousness since he had died one month earlier.

      So when was the dreamed character’s body born? It was never born. It just appeared when the dreamer’s mind localized itself as this little activity of thinking and perceiving. When did the dreamed character die? It never died. The dreamer’s mind simply stopped localizing itself as the dreamed character.

      So in the ultimate analysis, the being that your father eternally is never came into existence, never went out of existence. He is eternally present. He, not the person of your father, but the being that your father was, is now. The being that everything is. The eternal being that doesn’t come in and out of existence. A localization of that being appeared temporarily and disappeared, but it was only a localization. Your father actually never came in or went out of existence.

    Our two grandsons and their partners along with two other couples are scheduled to fly to the Dominic Republic tomorrow. This has been a long-planned trip around Adam’s 30th birthday, with lots of excitement and anticipation. Well, uninvited, Tropical Storm Melissa has entered the equation.

    What do we do when what we want to do seems not to be available? The script of Everlasting Peace comes to my mind.

    Circumstances have changed and it is time now to look to new directions to learn how to fly once more….

    When you can work, it is OK to work. When you can read, it is OK to read. When you can think, it is OK to think. But when you can’t work, it is OK for you to relax. And when you can’t read, you can still share wisdom. Because even when you can’t always think clearly, you can always enjoy the love that surrounds you.

    ~ Debra Basham, Everlasting Peace

    I am not sure what the kids will decide to do about their trip. I am sure that they are not the only humans on the planet who are navigating thwarted plans. Whether it is weather or whether it is health challenges, or world politics, or fragile economics, I am sure if we are alone, we are alone together!

    Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.
    ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

  • Transient Global Amnesia

    I will surrender to my greatest highest good.
    I will release any fear that blocks my way.
    For every step I take is taken in pure faith,
    And I am stronger every moment every day.

    (Lyrics) Morning Prayer, I Surrender by Karen Drucker

    In 2012, following the hysterechtomy to remove a 22 cm ovarian mass, I experienced a temporary lack of the normal muscle contractions of the intestines (ileus). Relief did not fully occur until a dear friend did Reiki on me. We laughed that she was able to Reiki the $h!t out of me. To this day, every bowl movement is accompanied by a real-time jolt of joy. It reminds me of a toddler’s excitement at going potty.

    Wednesday morning, June 22, 2022, seemed like a normal day. I did some meditation and went for a bike ride. I really was riding as a way of “getting back on the horse” after having taken a tumble on Monday morning. A serious case of road rash on my arm and hand resulted.

    After I got back from my ride, I was able to proofread a piece for a friend, and I said goodbye to John as he left for his physical therapy appointment. Very soon after that, I was miraculously able to phone Linda Gunter, saying I had been trying to pay some bills but was feeling very confused.

    Medical phobia (a result of womb and childhood trauma) has been a constant companion. My “career” of mind-body work was an outgrowth of seeking and sharing with others tools that gave me relief. I ended up in ER and was admitted to the hospital for a stroke-workup. I am relieved to report that ALL of the tests show no stroke, no brain bleed, no seizure.

    The diagnosis: Transient Global Amnesia. A common feature of transient global amnesia includes repetitive questioning, usually of the same question. Mine was, “Did I have a bike accident?”

    Tears come to my eyes easily, including as I write this morning. I have about 8 hours of my life I do not have any recall of, but, more importantly, I have a long-lasting sense of relief and gratitude and freedom from fear of medical things.

    On Friday morning, June 17, I had done some off-road riding, and because I rode in the opposite direction of my normal route, I came upon a remarkable fawn corpse. Regardless of the obvious fact that the lower body of the fawn had been eaten, the fawn exuded innocence, and beauty, and peace. I have previously shared the photo with a few people. I was so moved, and I knew I would write about it, but I had no idea what else was to come forth.

    A doe corpse I saw on my ride Monday morning was the exact opposite of the fawn. The doe had been killed by a car. The stench of fear, terror, anguish hung heavily in the air. Just as was the peace of the fawn corpse, this fear of the doe corpse was “palpable.”

    I knew in that instant a profound truth: a fragrance of our life and our death “lingers.”

    Transient global amnesia can be caused by a stroke or a seizure, but it can also be a result of stress, anxiety, or high blood pressure. This “Molotov cocktail” has been my poison for so long. The neurologist said you can think of TGA like when a circuit breaker pops, or when your computer system reboots.

    My entire life has been plagued by fear. I learned that fear in the womb, then it was amplified at age five when I was treated for polio by being placed in isolation. Never having previously been separated from my mother, that hospitalization was traumatic for both of us. IT WAS THE VERY SAME HOSPITAL I WAS TAKEN TO THIS WEEK.

    I recognize and honor the good that has come as a result of all of my life challenges, but I am profoundly grateful of the recent unfolding. My greatest fear had been that I would be a “bad” witness at the time of my death. I yearned to be able to welcome my return to spirit with joy — with the innocence and beauty and peace of the fawn. I know the continuity of consciousness is real. I want to be a way-shower in my death as well as in my life.

    According to the information from Mayo Clinic, transient global amnesia has no direct complications. It’s not a risk factor for stroke or epilepsy. It’s possible to have a second episode of transient global amnesia, but it’s extremely rare to have more than two.

    After a major stroke took her left brain off-line, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (My Stroke of Insight) was able to rewire her brain without the fear. Our book club read her book, and, if her story is new to you, you will love her TED talk (which has been viewed over 28 million times). I had the honor of seeing her speak in person a number of years ago. She has certainly taken full advantage of her adversity.

    On Wednesday night, in a hilarious Train of Care, John and Linda and Larry left me at the hospital.

    The train pulled out leaving me alone, but not afraid. So many people were holding me in prayer and love and light, and I could feel it. During the night, a guy pulled out his IV and I could hear the nurses saying there was blood everywhere. Someone with a trach tube kept having to be suctioned out. I heard people crying out in pain or confusion. Inside of me, I could hear beautiful sounds of love. I played Karen Druker’s Morning Prayer. I softened and felt the peace that passes understanding.

    One of the women in my small dharma group shared this:

    Debra. I just wanted to share with you that when you were in the hospital, I was sitting and sending you energy and support, and I had one of the more powerful experiences I’ve had of being filled with energy, light and love, feeling it move through my body as a vessel toward you, surrounding you in love. . . I do wonder if all sitting in prayer that way, we joined together in that 5th dimensional healing, of sangha. With love, Lisa

    (Worth mentioning is how having just gone through a stroke work-up with John two months ago, my experience was less “unknown” and I know that supported this miracle of release of fear. One friend said she could see it as a “sacred contract” he and I came in to this life with. It certainly is sacred.)

    Every time I recall something mundane, such as when John could not remember the name of a child who came to music on Thursday evening. I told him her name is Sophie and I got an immediate jolt of joy!

    Terror Gone Away… I think that is how I will remember this TGA.

  • Midnite’s Purple Petunia Plant

    From my journal:

      Friday, June 3, 2022

      Dear Holy Spirit,

      I am listening to a podcast by Ram Dass. (Ep. 199: The Continuity of Consciousness)

      “Somewhere between not enough and more seems to be enough.”

      At least a few moments go by before i have a thought about Joel — that’s progress. I have heard nothing from him since last Sunday evening when he sent email saying he was on the floor in his bedroom and could not get up.

      Ram says the concept ‘I am meditating’ is still “rush collecting.” He continues:

      You have been born many times and many times you have died and each time you have died you have struggled against death. You have said: “Why me? Save me. Heal me! Do whatever you need to do, doctor: Transplant, freeze, do whatever needs to be done. Cut. Mend. But keep me here.”

      And you hold desperately to the bed sheets and you struggle against it. And then you’re dead. And then a voice says to you, “Hello.”

      And then you say, “I guess I didn’t die.”

      And the voice says, “Oh, to the contrary, you are quite dead.”

      Time and time again, death after death, you have rejected that voice, and stayed in what the Christians called purgatory. You stayed in a state of confusion between births.

      (Ram Dass uses the term ‘veil of illusion’ — I’ve never heard that. I’ve heard the other side of the veil but I’ve not heard it said that it is the veil of illusion.)

      2/5 of the population of America have had transcendent, mystical experiences. That is 40 million people. Of those 40 million people, a sampling shows that 85% said, “It was the most powerful experience of my life and I never want to have another one.”

      For only some of the people, when they see through that veil, they are able to utilize that new awareness… And when you are really ripe, that one millisecond changes your whole life from now on — that lifetime. And when you are really ready, that one moment makes you say, “From here on all I wish to do now is to get free.”

      Now, when you have started to awaken in a particular lifetime, and then you die, you say, “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die,” and then you are dead and somebody says welcome and you say I guess I didn’t die and they say yes you did and you are confused and then that moment of that previous birth when you awakened comes to you and you say, “Ah, right, this is what that was about.”

      (I have the awareness that suffering is grace.)

      Up until that time, you’ve been seeking to optimize pleasure.

      A birth is like a process of getting you straight or cleaning you up or awakening you…. You are part of a far more interesting game which you begin to be aware of in terms of your own identity….

      The meaning of every act in life starts to change. You look at all of it as process for awakening, for cleaning up your game. You don’t begrudge your history — no matter how neurotic it has been — for it has in it the stuff which has created the space you are in at this moment which allows you to hear right now.

      (I notice that I am trying too hard as I am chopping vegetables for quiche and then I hear, “Let the tool do the work.”)

      That may be the lesson of the power washer. No amount of stress or strain enhances the work. I hear that the central message again and again as I continue. No amount of effort forces sleep. No amount of worry produces peace. No amount of effort produces clarity. One cannot TRY oneself to anything.

      My mind recognizes that we can aim. A – I – M. Already is (or always is) mentality.

      Peace already is like the sun is always shining. Peace always is. Love always is. Light always is. Nothing we can do “makes” it.

      I realize consciousness is also a tool. I feel fluttering in my heart as I write this sentence.

    My blood pressure continues to be quite high, although I have had two readings over the past week and a half that would be considered normal.

    I am on Zoom attending the year-end “intensive” right now. Perhaps additional insight is to emerge during these five days. This morning’s Thought for Today from Aaron is quite interesting for me:

    Whatever it is that you’re praying for, be it health or well-being of yourself or for a loved one or whatever the prayer-intention may be, that innate perfection is always there. If you approach it from a place of fear, you keep manifesting the distortion. When you come back to the place of love, you center yourself in love and invite others to take hold of the strands with you and pray with you from that same place of love. Energetically they’re weaving together with you, weaving together a tapestry of healing with you, of growth, of love, of joy. So this is the power of prayer.

    I find it fascinating that I had just written the string about always there. Plus, when I first started my practice in Healing Touch, I named my business “Tapestry” with the tag line weaving together the threads of body, mind, and spirit. Also on the card: For when you are ready.

    I am ready.

    From my journal:

      Saturday, June 4, 2022

      Dear Holy Spirit,

      Very much aware of anticipatory stress. I am willing. I ask Alexa to play Karen Drucker’s “Morning Prayer: I will surrender to my greatest highest good.”

      As I listen, I am aware of a sensation in my left jaw and my right thumb. I look up the Louise Hay meaning of thumb and it is about intellect and worry. The affirmation is “my mind is at peace.”

      I look online and find the five hindrances. One is restlessness and worry. Uddhacca, defined as a mental factor characterized by disquietude, like water whipped by the wind.

      I imagine my body as a wide container where the energy is allowed to bounce around freely like a pinball machine. As I am sitting with the sensations and allowing them to bounce around, the sensations settle on their own.

    Joan is online from the hospital, where her husband, Bob, is in very serious condition. I have the precious memory of John’s and my experience of being held in this sangha’s awakened heart while he was in the hospital with the TIA during the Emerald Isle retreat in April. A profound awareness washes over me that if one was to complete the transition back to non-physical, this is an ideal place to do that.

    From Gratefulness.org: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it. (Mary Oliver)

    Perhaps a perfect image to remind me is Midnite’s purple petunia plant. Every one of these variations arise from one plant.

  • It’s Not a Wall

    Yesterday morning I received a text message from Joel, simply, “Not well.”

    This was the first news from him since Thursday morning, May 19, when a staff member came in and swabbed his nose, testing him for Covid while we were on FaceTime. After that he did not answer text messages, or return calls. I heard nothing…. nothing at all…. nothing for t-e-n days.

    I assured him when he feels up to it, we can FaceTime, and I encouraged him to, “Just rest, as best as you can.”

    At 5:37 pm, he sent email: I need your help. I am on the floor in my bedroom and I can’t get up.

    At 6:03 pm, he sent the same message again.

    I had been watching text messages, in case he reached out for support. I did not check email as he had not sent email for over a month.

    At 6:39 pm I forwarded the message to his son and daughter-in-law.

    At 7:02 pm, when I called his cell phone he answered, briefly, before a female voice said he was being taken to the hospital to be checked out.

    This morning I could again feel the attachment to outcome; the familiar habit energy of wanting to fix; trying to control; desperate to care for my friend. A steady stream of largely unskillful conversations (called ruminations) with his son and daughter-in-law were flowing inside my head. I knew I needed to draw and write again.

    I draw a wall or fence that divides the page. On the right side is a broken heart and a face with tears. A hand holds a flower. No one or nothing is on the other side.

    Here is the writing:

      Dear Debra,

      Can you see on the drawing that you are the only one in the picture? What are the thoughts, feelings, impulses that produce the broken heart? You don’t have to list them, just be aware.

      Nothing is other than it is.

      Somewhere at your center is the deeper wisdom of the universe. Perhaps “the one who knows” is just on the other side of that wall. Perhaps the way over the wall is through “don’t know mind.”

      What will allow you to realize you do not know what gifts Joel is offering to his son and family?

      What might be the kindness and compassion “energy” you truly wish to bring?

      I can see that at some level I have the perception it would be easier if I had access to information.

      “Is that so?”

      Remember the four pillars of freedom:

      1. I could be happy if I had access to information
      2. I could be miserable if I had access to information
      3. I could be happy if I had no access to information
      4. I could be miserable if I had no access to information

      Truly, having access or not is out of my control.

      What image comforts me?

      The memory of Joel with his cats and his nature (the beggar squirrel — the opossum — the fawn) at his home.

      Barbara Brodsky’s asking me, “Debra, does the tree still live in your heart?” when I was so upset at the beautiful old (only) tree in our yard being cut down.

      You are remembering how comforted John was to imagine that his brother’s consciousness might not be in his body suffering after he had the abdominal aortic aneurysm; perhaps Jerry was actually hanging out with Brother Jim and (son) Scotty.

      I am drawn back to Iyanla Vanzant’s tapping prayer on TRUST. Jessica Ortner was told by Louise Hay to trust life. Iyanla says trust is:
      T-trust
      R-respect
      U-understanding
      S-surrender
      T-timing

      I listen to Karen Drucker singing “The Healing Song” and I add a stanza with TRUST.

      Trust fills every cell in my body,
      every cell is alive with trust.
      I relax into the healing process,
      I allow spirit to do what it does.

    I sing for a while and then I title the drawing: It’s Not a Wall…. It’s Only a Mirror.

    We had a Flicker visit our yard this morning. We often have Red-bellied or Downy woodpeckers, but not a Flicker. I look up the totem meaning of Flicker.

    Flicker enters your life is when you are out of balance. You might feel you’re in a whirlwind and about to lose all sense of sanity. Flicker Spirit Animal teaches you how to use your “feet,” stand your ground, and weather the storm.

    Flicker, as a Spirit Animal, encourages you to be more flexible. The Bird’s message suggests you go with the flow present in your life, and not to let your ego impede what could be something amazing. Humility goes a long way. Being modest doesn’t mean losing yourself to another person’s vision, but being willing to compromise to gain the rewards of cooperative effort.

    If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. ~ Wayne Dyer

    Old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

    This afternoon I gave my faded red bicycle wind feature a much needed facelift.

    P.S. Sharing this response that came from Barbara Brodsky:

    Thank you for today’s post, Debra. Joel is in my prayers.

    On Thursday I found myself with some sadness, thinking about so many wonderful Memorial Day weekends at the lake, Thursday evening packing up to go as soon as Hal was home from work, first long weekend of the summer, so welcomed. I went out to the deck asking myself, what is there to cherish here, right now. Enough health to stroll (with walker) around my pretty yard, stopping to sit where something lovely caught my eye. The tall spruces, flowers, many birds, green meadow, deer in the orchard…Then some gardening, sitting on the deck with Hal, reading, playing a game… So clear I cannot enjoy the gifts of today if I’m caught up craving the gifts of yesterday. So it’s been a peaceful weekend. Mind does go to craving the lake, a swim, kayaking at dawn, meditating in the forest on my screened deck. I’m giving thanks for those gifts. And yes, I do miss them. But I have so many gifts right here if I will pay attention. So it has been a bittersweet weekend, but mostly sweet.

    Love. Barbara

  • I Surrender

    Entry from my journal: Tuesday, January 18, 2022 @ 3:37 am:

    Dear Holy Spirit,

    I am awake and in the TV room listening to Karen Drucker’s “I Surrender.”

      I will surrender to my greatest highest good.

      I will release every fear that’s in my way…

      and I am grateful every moment of every day.

    I spoke with my doctor late last evening. I had called because my blood pressure had spiked the past few days. At home in my pantry is a prescription bottle of an anti-anxiety medication she prescribed for me in 2017 when this had happened. I took one once, and I have carried one with me in my purse every day since. I took 1/2 on Sunday, and 1/2 on Monday, but the pressure was still elevated when Linda B/G checked it last evening.

    I love that my doctor knows my blood pressure goes up because of anxiety, rather than thinking it is organic. When she prescribed the anti-anxiety medication in 2017, she said, “Anxiety driven blood pressure doesn’t respond well to the classes of medications normally used to lower blood pressure.” And that list is long: Diuretics; Beta-blockers; ACE inhibitors; and Vasodilators, just to name a few.

    Of course, John’s recent experience of having had severe “silent” coronary artery disease (CAD) has triggered my childhood pattern of being terrified of all things medical. Now that we are home and things are moving along smoothly, this current tremendous anxiety is a result of my having just gone through everything with him. Waking up early Saturday morning to not-one-but-two tornado warnings blasting on our phones probably added insult to injury…

    My doctor said she is not worried about me. She has years of good blood pressure readings taken in her office by her nurse. She assured me they have done research about the spouse of a heart patient going through this sort of thing.

    I took 1/2 of one 2mg Valium (with permission) and I went to bed optimistic about getting a good night’s sleep. I went to sleep, but I woke up in massive ANXIETY. While there were no conscious thoughts of scary things, I could feel my body in high alert, totally overrun with adrenaline.

    I grabbed my phone, popped in my earbuds, and began tapping along with some Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) audios. After a couple of shorts — including Tapping Universal Reversals — without much measurable benefit. Then I tapped through FEELING SAFE IN YOUR BODY with Nick Ortner. During the 6 minute 50 second closing I began to feel a shift. I repeated that part. I repeated it again. And again.

    Conditions came to mind: womb trauma when my mom had syphilis and was a terrified inpatient; being traumatized by hospitalization in isolation after the diagnosis of polio at age five; the out-of-body experience at age 12 when I was in the auto accident; the terror I felt during the trip to Europe in 2011. An avalanche of more minor situations that reveal the deeper structure of anxiety also came forth in my mind. When one is driven by amygdala hijacking, even choosing the ‘right’ color of paint can feel like a life-or-death situation.

    I felt my body releasing the pattern and welcoming bliss back.

    My niece, who has recently shared her life-long struggle with anxiety and depression, came to my mind over and over. I had said to John a few day ago I was feeling like I need to reach out to her.

    My nephew, who has used drugs to combat severe anxiety, resulting in his having multiple incarcerations, came to mind.

    And so many others….

    I began listening to the Surrogate Tapping audio, and I said out loud to myself, “I dedicate the merit of this to all who suffer from anxiety…” Jesica Ortner’s words encircled my body and soothed my mind:

    …. This is a blessing in disguise and I am so grateful…. I let go of my need to control this situation….

    I can feel some hints of integration as I listen.

    ….As I heal in the presence of darkness, we are all uplifted….

    I wonder if this pattern of fear and anxiety might actually be a part of our collective divine mission.

    ….I no longer live the lie; the lie that I don’t have what it takes; the lie that others don’t have what it takes….

    I can still hear the refrain of Karen Drucker singing I surrender to my greatest highest good in the background of my mind’s ear. I can feel myself breathing! I look and my heart rate on my Fitbit is showing 67 beats per minute!

    My grandson, Brad, comes to mind. He has spoken of his own awareness of this pattern of anxiety-driven achievement.

    ….This person has what it takes to have what they want….I have faith that this person I love will do what’s right for them. The outcome is greater than I could have ever imagined so I let go of my need to predict. I let go of my need to control. Everything is in divine order. I am grateful for this situation for it helps me learn and grow. I am grateful for this situation for it helps me learn and grow. I’m grateful for this blessing in disguise. I’m grateful for this blessing in disguise.

    When the surrogate tapping audio is finished, I open my email and read two “Thought-for-today” messages that speak directly to my current experience.

    Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. ~ Lin-Manuel Miranda (from Gratefulness.org)

    Get to know fear. What is fear? It’s very interesting. Fear is always about what might happen, not much about what’s happening right now. When you’re present in the moment there may be discomfort, even real pain or sadness, but not a lot of fear. Fear is about your projections. ~ Aaron (from Deep Spring Center for Meditation)

    And when I turn on the computer to write this Yellow Brick Road post, this is the random screen saver image I am looking at. And I surrender to my greatest highest good….

  • It’s Perfect!

    It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
    what is essential is invisible to the eye.

    ~Antoine de St. Exupéry

    Yesterday afternoon I attended Remembering Wholeness with The Mother, a divine feminine being channeled by Barbara Brodsky. The opening comments tied right in with a previous evening’s conversation about some ongoing pain. I had asked my friend to identify any way she has not befriended her body. She spoke right away: pushing her body when it was trying to get her to stop.

    Interestingly, the message I received from The Mother addressed the same dynamic for me on the emotional level.

      What is there in your heart that you have pushed aside feeling it may prevent you from coping; feeling it may diminish your strength if you hear this or that?

    The evening my dad died I went to my client’s home and did an art show.

    The afternoon my mom died I went back to Holistic Alliance and saw clients.

    The Mother closed her words to me with this phrase: It’s perfect. Perhaps not always pleasant, but perfect.

    She reminded me that nothing the heart speaks is good or bad. It is all simply movements of the heart — some more grounded in fear, some more grounded in love. “Unless you hear it all, there is not wholeness.”

    She offered encouragement: There is still some confusion that’s coming out of not deeply listening to and trusting your heart — your heart’s love, your heart’s wisdom.

    Even quoting lyrics from a Walt Whitman poem, “I Celebrate Myself, and Sing Myself,” over and over, person after person, the theme of the day was the importance of learning to cherish yourself, hear yourself, love yourself.

    As I walked alone in the dark last evening, I allowed tears to flow, saying to my heart over and over, “It’s perfect. Perhaps not always pleasant, but perfect.”

    Today, it is great-grandson, Jackson, who has my heart singing Karen Drucker’s “Gentle With Myself.”

      I will be gentle with myself
      I will be gentle with myself
      And I will hold myself like a newborn baby child
      I will be tender with my heart
      I will be tender with my heart
      And I will hold my heart like a newborn baby child
      And I will only go as fast
      As the slowest part of me feels safe to go
      I will be easy on myself
      I will be easy on myself
      And I love myself like a new born baby child
      And I will only go as fast
      As the slowest part of me feels safe to go
      I am gentle with myself
      I am gentle with myself
      And I hold myself like a new born baby child
      And I rock myself like a newborn baby child
      And I hold myself like a newborn baby child
      And I love myself like a newborn baby child

  • I Am So Blessed

    Sacred Stories

    As she finished the morning yoga practice, reclining in rest pose, she began to spontaneously sing, “I am so blessed, I am so blessed, I am so blessed, I am so grateful for all that I have.”

    She grabbed her phone, did a search and came up with that single by Karen Drucker on YouTube.

    Curious, she said out loud, “Alexa, shuffle songs by Karen Drucker.”

    “Shuffling songs by Karen Drucker. Playing first, I Am So Blessed,” Alexa announced!

    May the wonder of the world find ways to guarantee that we notice….

  • Mercury Retrograde! October 14 – November 3

    Belief can be overrated. If one did not believe in gravity, would gravity still have an effect? Of course, it would. It is likely that astrological influences are having an effect on us in much the same way.

    Mercury went retrograde on October 14, where it will stay through November 3.

    Tuesday, November 3, 2020, is election day….

    How Mercury In Retrograde Is Affecting Your Body And Energy Levels – It’s all happening! by Susannah Guthrie

    Expect to have more or less energy than you’re used to, particularly of the nervous variety.

    October 2020’s Mercury retrograde will either sap you of your usual zest and leave you feeling lethargic, or fill you with chaotic, scattered energy that might have you feeling restless, unfocused and anxious.

    In our third year of Dharma Path, Barbara Brodsky and Arron (check out Aaron’s new blog) have us working with a wonderful practice to navigate strong emotions in a way that prevents us from being overcome by them.

    Here are the basic steps of “Akashic Field Practice.”

    1. I open myself to this field in which there are both spaciousness and calm and peace, and disturbances. Because of the essence of my practice, I am willing to experience the disturbance. I’m not afraid of the disturbance, because I know that the spaciousness is much vaster than the disturbance. And so, instead of focusing on the disturbance, I focus on the spaciousness.

    (We are encouraged to think of holding and comforting these uncomfortable emotions like we would hold a distressed baby, seeing the baby as a more infantile consciousness, and we ourselves are able to hold that infantile consciousness with mature consciousness. Saying to ourselves, “It is going to be OK. I love you. You are safe.” This holding, comforting, supporting is based on our highest intention for highest good of all beings, harm to none, and lovingkindness.)

    2. Invite spirit (God/Higher self/Love) to support your choice for kindness.

    3. Ask in your heart of any entities (angels/guides/masters) that come, “Do you come for the highest good, in service to all beings, and harm to none?” Wait until you get a clear YES.

    4. Invite all loving beings (entities) to get closer as you clearly state your need. “My body is shaking. I really feel rotten. I’m not emotionally scared so much as my heart is pounding and I feel the fear in my whole body. Please help.”

    Imagine feeling a warm energy moving throughout your body; loving energy surrounding you; energy clearing, as spaciousness opens up inside you.

    Remember YOU always have access to this energy. This is always available.

    Music can help your “mature” consciousness calm your “infantile” consciousness, especially kind during this Mercury retrograde over the next few weeks. I love Karen Druker’s Gentle with Myself, and Cecelia’s Amazing Grace (with whale sounds!).

    October 14, 2020 Daily Word: Let Go, Let God

    I work in divine partnership to accomplish great things.

    A surfer harnesses the ocean’s power to complete the exhilarating ride to shore. I, too, place myself within the divine wave of God’s power. I neither move out in front of it by forcing my will nor do I hold back out of fear and insecurity. Only when I center myself in the wave can I discern the answer or direction I seek. I let go into the magnificent power of God and ride the wave that is my inner guidance and direction.

    In prayer, I release the need to know what is going to happen and trust that my highest good is unfolding. I do what is mine to do, leaving the greater part to God. I listen to my intuitive knowing, heed the guidance I receive, and then follow through on my inner promptings with deliberate, purposeful action.

    You are indeed my rock and my fortress; for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.—Psalm 31:3

  • In This Moment

    This early morning is so quiet…. in the stillness of this moment I am feeling the dawn and I am keenly aware of the possibilities alive in this moment.

    A melody awakened in my mind as I sat, and I let the stillness be enhanced by listening to a song I know well, by an artist I have personally met. “In the Stillness” is from the album Let it Shine, by Karen Drucker.

    Two months ago today, I arrived home in Michigan from wintering in Florida. (See Nothing is Not the Divine.)

    We began safe-sheltering in Florida on March 15, and we have continued to safe-shelter since our arrival in Michigan.

    But things are starting to open up. When I ride my bike, the quiet is again more intruded upon by cars whizzing by.

    How do we take the benefits from this “retreat” time as our lives move outward into the world again? How do/will I? How do/will you?

    Deborah King, author of Be Your Own Shaman, and Heal Yourself and the World sent out a message about the June (05-06) 2020 full moon, which is also a lunar eclipse.

    [T]here is an opening to bring the unconscious to the conscious level for healing and transformation.

    And this full moon combined with the lunar eclipse has this depth tenfold…

    In Vedic astrology, eclipses herald change. Combine that with Mars’s energy for making something happen, and Neptune’s energy for oneness, and we have a recipe for people gathering to create necessary change that’s long overdue.

    People gathering…. Oneness…. Healing and transformation.

    I was one of the first individuals in my world to choose to safe-shelter. I may be one of the last to choose to gather. It is certainly my intention to choose wholesome actions for the good of all.

    Today, I will reflect on some of the gifts this time has brought forth. I have certainly made more home-cooked meals. I have not packed a travel bag since December 1, 2019 — the day John and Stacey and I left Tennessee and made the drive to Pine Island. This from a person who had spent most every Wednesday driving the 50 miles to Kalamazoo. I was seeing clients at Kalamazoo Psychology, various other offices, then at Borgess Integrative Medicine. Each week I would stay overnight in Parkview Hills. Over 20 years of co-writing and collaborative working.

    The furnishings of the office here in Saint Joseph are currently boxed up, and everything has been moved to the new location. Touch therapies are scheduled to be allowed to open again on June 15.

    Choices, choices, choices….

    I have certainly done a lot of meditation and I have certainly practiced patience. I have ordered things I wanted/needed online. I have become acutely aware of the difference between wants and needs. I have been content to make do with what I have. I have been content and known how blessed I truly am, in the stillness of this moment. Groceries have come once a week or so, ordered on Instacart, and delivered to our door by good friends, Linda and Larry.

    Linda told me last evening that she is going to start going to the store again. She has offered to continue to shop for us if we choose. That is so kind.

    Not shopping is my current choice.

    Linda said she likes shopping, and she has been out for a few things the past couple of weeks and has appreciated seeing for herself the appropriate precautions that are in place. She feels it is time for them to start generating a more involved living — of course, with continued wearing of masks and social-distancing.

    Always we are making choices.

    Today, let’s make the choices that create necessary change that’s long overdue….

  • In the Stillness

    Breaking my own rule, my fingers are on the keyboard as I am listening to Claire Zammit sharing the keys and tools on how to activate and awaken even greater levels of your Feminine Power. As she says, “It might not be linear or logical,” I relate. Hearing her say, “You must find and clear the deep blocks to your connection with your Higher Power,” I have a deep longing for all beings to thrive in this connection.

    Earlier this week, I shared Karen Drucker’s “In the Stillness” with a colleague. As we listened, we both felt that coming into alignment.

    In The Stillness
    Words & Music: Karen Drucker
    In the stillness of this moment there is peace, there is peace.
    In the stillness of this moment there is peace, there is peace.
    And I rest, and trust, and breathe, and know,
    that in the stillness of this moment, there is peace.
    (There is love, I feel love, I am peace, I am love, I am.)

    Zammit describes women who don’t trust life, who don’t value themselves, who don’t feel supported. She says it is not our fault. Her research has discovered how women stepped away from Feminine Power when we took on the masculine power which (1) sets goals (2) creates a plan (3) works hard for what you want. She says we have been brainwashed by this masculine power which says we can do it by ourselves, creating barriers to receive support.

    What are your barriers to receiving support? Have you had beliefs that you were weak or unworthy? How will your life work better as you join with others who are standing for each others’ greatness?

    In the masculine form of power exist competition, comparison, and conquest.

    In the feminine form of power, we gather around one another, and we surrender into the greatness we came into this world to share.

    As much as I enjoy the words feminine power, I prefer to recognize it as our authentic power. This power belongs to women and men. Gary Zukav has been encouraging us to remember and live from the authentic power of love for over thirty years.

    Love
    Intimacy
    Vulnerable
    Compassionate
    Open heart
    Co-operative
    Win-win
    Shares
    Self-responsible
    Open to intuition
    Harmony
    Co-creation
    Wants to heal
    Faces fear
    Creates authentic power
    Integrity
    Self-aware
    Spiritually growing
    Detached from outcome
    Changes inner world

    PLEASE WATCH this interview with Oprah and Gary where they talk about each of us having a “mother ship” that guides us. At about 16 minutes into the interview, Gary speaks with a couple who had recently had a twin son live four days. The interview reminded me so much of the precious gift of Ella and I am so grateful to her mom for recognizing her as a soul.

    In the stillness of this moment I am love. And so is Ella, so are you….