Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: John Lennon

  • March 5

    She was swimming in memories of the previous year when their dear friend had undergone back surgery while they were all “snowbirds” in Florida. The surgery on her friend’s back was successful but it proved to be too much for her friend’s ailing heart and her friend had passed not long after returning to Michigan.

    “It has popped into my mind to look and see what day it was I went to the hospital,” she shared with their mutual friend. “I have not yet taken time to, but I know I have the voice memo I had recorded.”

    She looked on her phone. It had been exactly one year ago — March 5!

    (Her friend passed four months later on July 5.)

    John Lennon said, “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be”.

  • It’s Not the End

    John Lennon said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”


    Gratitude is not a mere word;
    it is not a mere concept.
    It is the living breath
    of your real existence on earth.
    ~ Sri Chinmoy

    Claudia and I drove to Holly the day before the retreat started so we did not have the several hours of travel and unpacking and settling in all before noon on opening day. Awake early the next morning, I wrote in my journal:

      D: What is the meaning of my being here?

      V: You, My Dear, give whatever meaning that is given. Think about this in relationship to what is called “divisiveness” in your country today.

      D: It is staggering and humbling.

      V: It does appear clearly that.

    When folks arrived at the Maryville Retreat Center on Monday, October 14 2024, I had not expected to shed so many joyful tears. I wrote on the white board: The joy of reunion brought to mind the way it is spoken of the joy when we are reunited with loved ones “in heaven.”

    Very unusual opening words by Aaron, “We are not here for meditation — we are here for sangha.”

    At the Tuesday morning sitting I realized when I had to re-string my mala last winter one bead was put out of place. As I held that bead in my hand, my heart was so open! I thought about the tradition of making a deliberate mistake. Quiltmakers, Navajo Indians, even carpenters are aware of and use this idea. One source even says that the errors included are the same for a particular artist – sort of like a maker’s mark.

    When our small group met with the teachers I shared how complete I felt in our coming together, as if I had died at that moment I would have known I had done absolutely everything I came into this incarnation to do.

    Maryville has a wonderful chapel, with a peaked roof above the altar, skylights, and huge windows looking out onto the serene setting. Stained glass words line the seam between the walls and the ceiling. Each word seemed to invite complete states of being like peace, joy, hope, and love….

    I spent quite a bit of time in that space, once using it as a walking meditation. Afterwards I wrote in my journal:

      V: To whom do you pray, Dear One?

      D: To the center of Life.

      V: And what is this center of Life? It is much like the center of an onion. There is “no” thing there that is other than. This is a profound truth.

    The theme of reunion kept coming forth as a sweet fragrance. I meditated on the cellular memory of the on-going joy my sister, Janis, and I celebrate every moment of our lives now. This closeness and preciousness is the result of our having a profound loss of rapport and connection that lasted a significant amount of time.

    So grateful for the gifts of sitting in group meditation, chanting with other’s voices and feeling the harmonies, and having time dedicated to Noble Silence.

    The first six words from Shakespeare’s “As You Like It” Act two, Scene 1, the Forest of Arden, spoke volumes: Sweet are the uses of adversity…. And as John Lennon said, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

    Home from the retreat now, the simple gift of our being together remains most salient for me.

  • A Clean Slate


    On Tuesday night in class the teacher told us, “Karma is never a punishment; there is always a desire to learn.” I was so drawn to the words and to the implication of that truth. A subtle curiosity dawned as to from where the idea of a punishing supreme being came.

      When love and hate are both absent
      everything becomes clear and undisguised.
      Make the smallest distinction, however,
      and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

      ~ From “Views of the Faith Mind”

    We are so very conditioned to polarities, we sometimes take for granted they “exist.”

    What if polarities are really just conditioned states of mind?

    In The Sound of Silence, Ajahn Sumedho describes a state that is “ever present but only noticed if attended to.”

    My blood pressure has been up again since Hurricane Ian came onshore in our beloved community in Southwest Florida, before driving destruction onward across the state and on up into North Carolina. As I was sitting with all of that on October 12, I realized the elevated blood pressure might really be Europe anniversary energy from 2011. I was going to the foot doctor later in the morning so I sat a clear intention to have everything be released with the day’s procedure.

    Before leaving for my appointment I did a drawing and heard song lyrics in my head: What goes up, must come down; spinning wheel got to go round; talkin’ bout your troubles, it’s a cryin’ sin.

    Then a poem:

      A Clean Slate

      My past is a thief robbing me of today
      but only if I hold on — that’s the only way
      I breathe in
      I breathe out
      I let go
      I move out

      No more ruminating
      this is the root
      today renders all those yesterdays
      absolutely moot

      Today the autumn hues
      can erase a history of blues
      the reds
      yellows bright
      orange shining
      with glorious light

      These cells and pores
      win or lose
      when I’m saving scores
      wipe the slate clean
      that’s what we mean

      Do it now
      let it go

      Compassion
      can and will flow

      Debra Basham October 12, 2022

    After I got home from the doctor, I had the first normal blood pressure reading in several days. I finished reading The Cherry Harvest, by Lucy Sanna. I did not like the ending. Online I saw this line in one review, “Really digs into the hidden behaviors that people often have but would never admit.” I wrote in my journal that I prefer a happy ending.

    John Lennon is credited with saying everything will be okay in the end, so if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

    More from “Views of the Faith Mind” that resonates with all of this:

      Do not search for the truth;
      only cease to cherish opinions.
      do not remain in the dualistic state.
      Avoid such pursuits carefully.
      If there is even a trace of this and that,
      of right and wrong,
      the mind-essence will be lost in confusion.

      Although all dualities come from the One,
      do not be attached even to this One.
      When the mind exists undisturbed in the Way,
      nothing in the world can offend.
      And when a thing can no longer offend,
      it ceases to exist in the old way.

    A few minutes ago I went out and took a video of the sky. To the left and to the right of a heavy band of clouds there was blue sky. It was so obvious that what you see depends on where you are looking.

    A lot of life related to wintering in Pine Island has ceased to exist in the old way, yet another opportunity to breathe in and out and let go….

  • Life Itself

    How each of us views life differs slightly, but the themes of life itself are universal.

    Years and years ago I studied dream interpretation with a man who had trained at the C.G. Jung Institute. One aspect of dream meaning is to notice a theme that is emerging as an initiating dream.

    Three generations of women watching Life Itself, an American 2018 drama directed by Dan Fogelman which follows multiple couples over several generations, was a mixed bag. After watching it, I read that reviews were not great—calling the film “simultaneously overwrought and underwhelming.”

    Well, isn’t life itself simultaneously overwrought and underwhelming?

    This past week my husband and I have been staying in a house that has been the home of our daughter and son-in-law for over a decade. They are now house guests in that home. The house is now the home of our older grandson and our granddaughter-in-law. We are sharing this space with the six adults, three dogs, and two cats.


    Although the house looks different, Thanksgiving Brunch was held at this HOME, and tonight this HOME will host the annual Thanksgiving weekend “Soup Night.”

    I have done my regular duties of cleaning the inside of the microwave and wiping out the fridge. These are in addition to unloading the dishwasher and folding the laundry. I added polishing the outside of the toaster oven to this trip….

    One of the most fascinating aspects of a home is recognizing the way a home gives those in it gifts. Of course a home comes with costs and responsibilities for those in it too.

    We are grateful to have a roof over our heads. We appreciate a warm shower, and some of those in this home value a cold beer.

    Not to spoil the ending, but it has a happy ending.

    The final scene of the film is Elena reading from her book titled Life Itself. Elena’s dying grandmother is telling Elena’s father that although life may bring us to our knees, if we look hard enough, we will find love.

    Elena concludes her story by saying how one moment shaped her entire life, and that every bit of her has some of her mother, her father, and her grandmothers.

    That reminds me of the gift John made for me for Christmas in 2016: a wooden plaque with stick-on-letters: Not to spoil the ending—but everything is going to be OK.


    The craftsmanship of the plaque was not professional, but the wisdom and love are palpable. The message is one of those universal truths so that plaque hangs proudly in the laundry room of our home.

    Home is not just where you live. Home is also an internal state of being where you are. When life seems overwrought and underwhelming or underwrought and overwhelming, take heart. You know that life itself is still unfolding.

    Sometimes attributed to John Lennon: Everything Will Be Okay in The End, If It’s Not Okay, It’s Not The End.