Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: intention

  • Tangled Webs

    One morning I photographed an amazing web wet with the morning dew. Later that evening, I mentioned the web while at dinner with friends. My one friend grimaced, said she hated spiders, and since dinner was in the home of our mutual friend, who was also desirous for our dear friend’s fears to be gone, I launched into the process of doing a Fast Phobia Cure. The process ended with a significant statement by my friend, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to spend my evening feeling anxious. I want to enjoy our time together.”

    “Nature’s Ways” is the name of my October Beyond Mastery Newsletter article, and it extols the skills of spiders as metaphor for life. I also have a previously post about spider’s and karma, so I won’t go into that now. But I have been reflecting this week on my desire to help my friend overcome the phobia of spiders.

    Oops…. I made a mistake. I wanted something she did not want. It was not respectful to push. We often walk the tangled web of desiring for another something the other is not desirous of. The following morning, I wrote this poem:

    Remembrance

    Dew wet the grass
    then the rains came
    will the sun come again?
    This dance of despair
    familiar like an old pair of shoes
    but far from pleasant!
    One more time
    I recall that you may not remember
    the years of faithful tending.

    Tending the garden
    removing weeds of sorrow
    so buds could grow again.
    Pulling the deep roots
    of delusion
    exposing healthy bulbs below.
    New sprouts of hopefulness
    peeking out from the soil
    rich, pungent, ready for life.

    Once I was caught in the underbrush
    too fearful to let go
    yet not willing to open to the light.
    Like a seed
    fear must be buried
    before reemerging transformed.
    Perhaps I can remember
    for you too
    as new life comes into view.

    09-03-2019

    Tangled webs are woven of fear. My feelings of sadness hanging in the air were tangled webs. My feelings of remorse were more tangled webs. My mulling over and over thinking and wishing things could have or should have been different—tangled webs.

    On June 17, 1999, I wrote An Ode to Letting Go.

    An Ode to Letting Go

    I will not look back at our time together and see it all as bad. I will have the courage to call it all good – our coming together and our coming apart. I will honor your memory by remembering the growth that our relationship inspired. I will not insult either of us by insisting that it could have, should have, or would have been different. It was as it was. I will use this experience to affirm the beliefs I wish to guide my life by; All things work together for good. You are free. I am free. Be with your life lightly as I am with my own. Take not from here a false belief that you or I are less than what you are: a child of the universe, whole, holy, and loveable. Be tender with yourself as you make this adjustment, just as you would be tender with a body part as it heals. Look into the mirror often and recall the truth – I once loved you deeply. Though the feelings have waned as the moon – your worthiness (as my own) has neither diminished nor dissipated. I will always honor your memory. I will always cherish your soul. Go in peace. Live, grow, heal, and continue on your journey. For this time of our being together has ended but the ties that bind our hearts in love continue – even as the love at the center of all of life continues to hold us and guide us and heal us. Amen.

    I cannot even recall now what the 1999 trigger for this writing was, but today, I know that what I am letting go is the weaving of tangled webs….

  • A Father’s Love 2

    Sacred Stories

    Driving back from visiting her husband in the Alzheimer’s facility, she was telling his daughter the story of having drawn ‘A Father’s Love’ Messenger Card the previous month following her surgery. (See previous post: A Father’s Love)

    They were just about home when the story was finished. “Did the medicine container ever show up?” his daughter inquired.

    “Nope,” she replied.

    As they pulled into the driveway, she reached down to the shelf below the console to get the garage door opener.

    Instead of the opener, she pulled out the medicine container!

    They were both were speechless with mouths and eyes gaping open.

    A father’s love truly is one of the strongest bonds any of us will ever experience….

  • Presence of Angels

    It has been a very full week. Early Tuesday morning I met my sister and brother-in-love at the hospital. She was having an angiogram, with the possibility of angioplasty or a stent, if necessary. After she was prepped for the procedure, we were able to sit with her as she waited. She mentioned that her acupuncturist, our close personal friend, had called the previous evening saying she was shocked to hear about the procedure. I looked at my sister and said, “There is your confirmation. Your heart is fine. If anything had been wrong, Leah would have known.”

    It was barely an hour later when the doctor shared the good news with us, “There was no blockage, and her heart is fine.”

    Later that day, I sat with a friend who’s adult son died in his sleep from an epileptic seizure last year. We used a process called Induced After Death Communication. I am not formally trained in his procedure, but IADC® Therapy was developed by Dr. Allan L. Botkin, Psy.D. It helps people find peace following the death of a loved one.

    You are to imagine having a conversation, or, as we did on Monday, you can write a letter to your loved one and let your loved one write back.

    This mother said she felt so much lighter afterwards.

    One of the women in our ongoing Grief Journey Group mentioned Mike Dooley’s book, The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell You.

    The number one thing is this: I am not dead.

    Most people who do the Induced After Death Communication process believe their experiential reconnection is real, but Botkin says they do not have to believe in the authenticity of the experience to benefit from its profound healing effects.

    When I ask people to share with me anything that might be an evidence of communication from their loved one, most easily identify multiple experiences, even while continuing to hold a belief that what they know they experienced cannot be possible.

    It is vital to notice when your experience transcends your beliefs. Our beliefs can be like clouds that block the sun. The clouds don’t affect the sun, but they certainly affect our experience of it.

    It is safe to soften, or even release our beliefs so we can acknowledge and honor our experiences.

    Matt Kahn expresses it this way, “Having spent the majority of my adult life being divinely guided by the presence of my angels, I wanted to share everything the angels have taught me, while aligning your energy field into greater communion and communication with the angels you may or may not know are always with you. I can tell you first hand, in looking back on my life’s journey, if it weren’t for my angels’ love, guidance, patience, and inspiration, I don’t know that I would still be here to serve you and all members of our Love Revolution.”

    For several years I have been publishing a Sacred Story every Saturday morning, stories dealing with angels or the connection of persons with their loved ones who have passed. Because many of the readers of this blog also receive these sacred stories, I will not include the entire post here. I do encourage you to read Annabelle’s Own, if you have not already done so, but here is the happy ending:

    I was so surprised and pleased to get that gift card, but was even more taken aback when I read it. Ann had donated the gift certificate because of my Mom and had written in the From space of the card: Annabelle & Carol Brannan (my Mom).

    It truly was a gift from my Mom – aligning everything to get me there and draw that card. What a fun and memorable night! And it was the sign I’ve been needing, to know that my Mom is okay and watching over me every single day!

    Here is another of my favorite Sacred Stories, posted May 9, 2015.

    There’s An Angel for Everything

    She had recently relocated to Florida, and her son and family had already moved there, too. Her adult daughter so wanted to come join the family, but she was having a challenge finding an appropriate rental home (within her budget and one that would take pets!).

    After weeks of searching, on a particularly frustrating morning with no success, she threw her hands up, saying out loud, “I am going for a walk. If there is a real estate angel who can work on this while I am gone, I would be very grateful.”

    Nearing the end of her walk, and very nearly back home, she struck up a conversation about Florida plantings with a man who was working out in the yard. One comment led to another and she confessed her frustrating morning and her need for a house for her daughter. The man said, “I am here working today getting ready to put this house up for rent.”

    The house was charming, the rent was in their budget, and the owner welcomed pets. That house has been her daughter’s home for many years now.

    She titled this wonderful story, “There’s An Angel for Everything!”

    Just before I received the email message containing the story about “Annabelle’s Own”, I had the thought, “I need to stop scheduling the Sacred Stories for Saturday’s only and just publish the stories as they come to me.”

    Perhaps I was being divinely guided by the presence of my angels….

    Perhaps we all are….

  • Annabelle’s Own

    Sacred Stories

    The following story was submitted by a reader. When I asked her if she wanted the names to be used or changed, she responded, “Leave the names the same. I want people to lift up my Mom’s spirit!”

    Sometimes I don’t catch subtlety, my Mom (who passed away 5 months ago) knows this.

    I don’t think she was very subtle one night letting me know that she is watching over me.

    My Mom was on the Board for Art Reach (a non-profit in Mt. Pleasant, MI) for more than a decade. I accompanied my Mom to many Art Reach fundraiser auctions throughout the years. After soliciting for some donations for her and knowing how much I enjoyed the event, the Executive Director offered me 2 tickets to the mid-week event. I thought about it for a while and told myself that if Mom’s best friend, Val, could go with me, then I’ll drive over 2 hours each way on a Wednesday night for the event.

    Val spends most of the warm months at her cottage up north, so it was a long shot. Well, not only was Val in Mt Pleasant for the event, it was on her birthday! So I drove to and from Mt. Pleasant to attend the Art Reach Auction.

    While there I did not bid on many items so I decided to try my hand at the Gift Card Pull. This is where random gift cards are all put in similar envelopes (all same size, just different colors) and you pay to pick an envelope and get the gift that’s inside. I assumed that most of the gift cards were for local establishments, but I could get lucky with a Meijers or something. Otherwise Val or my brother (who works in the area) would be getting the gift card – the donation is going to a good cause.

    Out of 100 random gift card options, I selected the gift certificate from Annabelle’s Own, a locally owned restaurant in Midland, MI that has great, homemade food and happens to have been my Mom’s favorite restaurant!

    I was so surprised and pleased to get that gift card, but was even more taken aback when I read it. Ann had donated the gift certificate because of my Mom and had written in the From space of the card: Annabelle & Carol Brannan (my Mom).


    It truly was a gift from my Mom – aligning everything to get me there and draw that card. What a fun and memorable night! And it was the sign I’ve been needing, to know that my Mom is okay and watching over me every single day!

    (Interestingly, earlier in the day I had decided to switch from weekly postings, to posting as the stories come forth. This is your first immediate post. Keep those Sacred Stories coming!)

  • A Father’s Love

    Sacred Stories

    She had just come home from the hospital following a knee replacement. Her daughter was staying with her.

    She noticed her pill container for that day (Wednesday) was missing. She knew she had not taken any medication to the hospital with her.

    They looked everywhere. Not finding the missing Wednesday container, she decided to draw a card.

    She drew “A Father’s Love.”

    They shuffled the cards and her daughter drew a card. It was “A Father’s Love” again!

    “Okay, Dad,” she said, knowing her dad was supporting them both.

    When her daughter also drew a card for ‘herself’ she drew “Caregiver.”

    A father’s love is one of the strongest bonds any of us will ever experience…. Also true about a Grandfather’s love.

    Please share the Sacred Stories you experience with friends, family, and anyone who will listen.

  • 1973 Kennedy Half Dollar

    Sacred Stories

    Her husband had recently passed. She was moving from their home into a condo.

    Two STRONG men & a truck moved her furniture.

    One of the pieces they moved for her was the antique Jenny Lind bed in the guestroom she had inherited from her granny.

    When the movers picked up the bed, a Kennedy half dollar was on the floor.

    1973 is the year they fell in love and married!

    Coincidence? She does not think so.

    Once you begin to notice, Sacred Stories are unfolding moment-by-moment.

  • Yoga108

    Tonight is one of those times when tears are just so close to the surface. Perhaps it is because 57 years ago yesterday I had a near death experience. Things that happen to you change your world view….

    Perhaps it is because this morning I got to work with a man, and a woman, and their precious dog. The woman had just stepped backwards into the motor pit on their boat. She began expressing her concern about not wanting to intrude on her husband’s session. We ended knowing you cannot take blessing from someone else by receiving blessing yourself. Even the dog came over to me and asked to receive healing attention! We were all so blessed by our time together as we were in that stream of the ever-perfect.

    Perhaps my heart feels so tender because 11 years ago today Nonnie’s beloved Mike passed….

    Perhaps tears are close to the surface because the evening sky is breathtakingly beautiful.

    Or because I read this precious truth written by Danusha Laméris about how small kindnesses are the ‘true dwelling of the holy’:

    I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by. Or how strangers still say, “bless you” when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying. And sometimes when you spill lemons from your grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other. We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass. We have so little of each other, now. So far from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, have my seat,” Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”

    I like The Giving Hat that belongs to my dear friend, Jane Foster.

    Perhaps my heart is so open because Jane was told she had less than a year to live by her surgeon who also said she needed to find a holistic healer. That was almost 20 years ago. Jane now coaches and encourages others to live life regardless of any medical diagnosis. So perhaps my heart is open because today Jane was on the mat beside me doing yoga for the first time!

    As I drove back downtown to the office after yoga class, the vehicle at the red light in front of me had this license plate:


    I sent the photo of the license plate to Jane and to Kathy, our wonderful yoga teacher. Kathy wrote back that 108 is a very special number. She said, “The number 108 is significant in yoga. It is the number of beads in a mala, and it is the number of sun salutations done daily in India. It is probably significant in other ways, too.”

    I wrote back, “Also 108 movements in Tai Chi.”

    “Did not know that!” Kathy shot back. “That would be a good blog entry…. I’d read it.”

    Lord Buddha’s footprint is imprinted with 108 auspicious illustrations.

    In Islam, the number 108 refers to God.

    In the Christian Bible, the phrase ‘first born’ is used 108 times. Both ‘in truth’ and ‘to forgive’ are also used 108 times, in the New Revised Standard Version.

    In numerology, the number 108 is reduced to 9, but adding all the digits together. Nine represents the earthly lesson of humans, which is ‘forgiveness’.

    Nine is about selflessness and compassion.

    People with nine energy are said to work without motive.

    Nines know their purpose is for the greatest good of all.

    Nines also have a protective energy, and they have great power, and great love in their soul.

    Today was the birthday of the woman I met with after yoga. I gave her a copy of The Gift: Poems by Hafiz The Great Sufi Master. Her husband passed a few months ago so she is in the process of reinventing her life. She is only 73, not 108, but I am quite sure it would be OK with her if we put 108 candles on her cake and sang happy birthday to her. I had her read the last poem in the book.

    AND LOVE SAYS

      And love
      Says,

    “I will. I will take care of you.”

      To everything that is
      Near.

    I also gave her a lovely decorated heart-shaped empty box. My friend, Claudia, learned to set a special box on your nightstand or dressing table, as a reminder that each day is a present and being present is a gift you give to yourself.

    108 times today I will say, it is such a privilege to be alive. It is such a joy to be awake.

  • Furry Friend

    Sacred Stories

    They were traveling from Florida, where they had wintered, back to their Northern home. It was a stressful even for both of them, but even more so for her, given his physical limitations from the strokes. His wheelchair was where an aisle seat would normally be. She was seated next to him in the middle seat.

    As their aisle-mate approached, motioning with her head, she said, “Obviously he cannot move for you so I guess you will have to climb over both of us.”

    She is one who gets chatty when nervous, unlike the easy quiet she finds other times.

    He looked at both of them, then handed her a small black dog. “Well, I guess you will have to hold him for me until I get settled.”

    She willingly took the dog, and instantly felt herself slide into the present moment.

    Holding the dog calmed her right down.

    By the time their seat mate had settled himself in beside her, she said to him, “I am sorry, but you can’t have him back.”

    “You may hold him until he has to go into the case under the seat for takeoff.”

    She contentedly smiled down at her furry friend curled up on her lap. Life was once again giving her the perfect support.

    Be sure to notice when this is happening for you, too….

     

  • What Is My Contribution?

    I woke up yearning to get out on my bike but clicked on the video by Mary Reed (The Unwitting Mystic). I spent the next hour hearing, feeling, knowing I was right where I was to be.

    I have spent time with Mary Reed in person, and I have followed her video offerings. Mary is the real deal. Her message of love is simple but not easy.

    In the video, she describes the mechanism of creation as the FOCUS of awareness, the INTENTION of awareness, and OUR REACTION to what we’re aware of.

    Mary shared this talk in reaction to the latest mass shootings, but it is in all of life that we are being asked to observe honestly, “What is my contribution?”

    It is so easy to think we have nothing to do with horrific events, but as Mary says, everything that is happening is only happening within me…. there is no other way it can happen.

    I am aware of that which I am in oneness with, and I am in oneness with that which I am aware of.

    It is vital to remember, I am the only place from which there can be a different reaction.

    I can focus clearly….

    I can intend wisely….

    I can react lovingly….

    I can ask myself if I really am willing to be that presence of divine love. And I can answer, “Yes, I am.”

    Regardless of how busy your life seems, you will be glad you took an hour to watch.

  • Re-Gifting

    Sacred Stories

    She and her sisters were together celebrating her birthday. As she opened one of the gifts, a pronounced whiff of perfume hung in the air.

    “This was mom’s, wasn’t it?” she chided her sister. “You are giving me a re-gift!”

    Their mother was famous for buying and wearing something and then giving it to one of them as a gift. The fragrance was palpable.

    “I bought it new!” her sister assured her.

    The sisters looked at one another as the obvious now dawned on them: Their mother was letting them know she was there celebrating the birthday with them.

    When your beliefs are stretched, you can let yourself honor your experience. Sometimes just looking into other cultures helps you understand truth.