Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: intention

  • I Know She is With Me Now – White Butterfly

    Sacred Stories

    They attended an amazing celebration of life for one of his school friends.

    The woman had died of cancer in February 2020 while hospital visits were curtailed by Covid and her wishes were that her family celebrate with a fish fry when possible.

    She must have been a truly lovely woman, inside and out. There were over 60 attending and this was the second celebration!

    Her family gave beautiful tributes to her and her daughter concluded with this story:

    “As Mom was preparing to leave, I begged her to come and be with me from the other side. We agreed she would come as a white butterfly so I would know for sure. For a long time I watched for her and prayed for her to comfort me, but no butterfly. Then last month I spotted one in my kitchen. I asked it to let me know for sure it was her. It came and fluttered up and down one arm and then the other. Then she came close to my face and just fluttered there! She flew to a bouquet I had on the table and I ran to get my phone for a picture but she was gone when I returned. I know she’s with me now”.

  • 126 – A Message from Rob

    Sacred Stories

    Rob was 5 hours flight away on a business trip when he passed suddenly from a brain aneurysm.

    He was only 45 years old and our sons 10 and 8. We were so connected, I was the one alerting the hotel, to check in his room.

    Soon after, I kept waking up at 1:26 am; each morning. I could not make sense of it, so I googled the meaning of “126” and posted it on Facebook.

    Shortly after, an acquaintance reached out to me and said, “Marie… One two six, can’t you see it? It’s the 12th of June!”

    (In our time format we have the day first, then the month.)

    Rob had passed on 12th June.

    Almost as if he wanted to send me confirmation, the next night I woke up at 12:06. I had to chuckle and said. “OK, I get it now!”

    That was the last time I had been woken in these early hours – and ever since we have been seeing the numbers 12, 6 or 126 everywhere we go.

    I believe he wants us to know he’s with us all the time.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Note* With her blessing, this post includes Marie’s identity:

    Marie lost her husband and father to their two boys in June 2018. Using her own tools and strong intuition, she paved her way back to HaPpiNeSs in a way that now ripples with massive impact around the world. Marie offers new perspectives that work on a soul level.

    Every journey of Grief is as unique as the person experiencing it!

    She founded a movement called “Loving Life after Loss”. With empathy and understanding, Marie gently picks up her clients from where they are at – with a whole lot of respect for their very unique journey. There is no “one size fits all” approach when it comes to Loss. Yet there is a stigma around Grief that she peels back, layer by layer, to not get entangled in other’s expectations, yet honour your own needs and space.

    Marie will offer you a different perspective on Life, Love and Grief and leave you with Choices that are yours to make.

    If you would benefit by connecting to Marie and “Loving Life after Loss”, visit MarieAlessi.com

  • Korean National Flower

    Sacred Stories

    Their daughter came to them from Korea at 4 months of age.

    This welcome bouquet and corsage (from the Korean adoption agency) was presented to her daughter on their first trip back to Korea, when her daughter was 9 years old.

    When the family moved to a new home, the Korean national flower, Rose of Sharon, was already growing right outside what became her daughter’s bedroom.

    Her daughter will soon be married. The couple met through a Korean adoption support group.

    Today, she saw this “double” bloom as a confirmation of and blessing on their love and union.

  • Tommy

    Sacred Stories

    When his patient died on the operating table and medical efforts of the team did not revive him, the surgeon called out, “Tommy, it’s not your time, come on back.”

    And Tommy’s heart started beating again….

    Bernie Siegel, M.D. first wrote about Love, Medicine, and Miracles.

    Now, in his eighties, following the passing of his beloved wife and after enjoying her continuity of consciousness, Bernie has written about No Endings, Only Beginnings.

    We must reject not only the stereotypes
    that others hold of us,
    but also the stereotypes
    that we hold of ourselves.

    ~ Shirley Chisholm

  • Do It With Love

    “In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all.”
    — Mahatma Gandhi

    My husband, John, violated a long-learned rule of relating when he said “WE” would do something that I would never have agreed to do.

    What am I to do now?

    Gandhi’s point is to not do it unless you can do it with love.

    I did it with love when I was honest with John: It was not wholesome for you to have committed me to something without asking me first.

    Then, I did it with love when I was honest with myself: I had to either do it with love or not do it at all.

    The “IT” in question is detailing a house here in our manufactured home community for a friend. She has essentially already moved to be near her children and grandchildren. She hired someone to do the painting, but that did not go well for a variety of reasons. Partially, it did not go well because she had previously painted without proper information or experience.

    For some of it, there is no easy solution.

    Here is the before-and-after view of one corner in the master bedroom. It is amazing what a truckload of Fast ‘N Final Lightweight spackling compound can do.


    It is very good karma to lovingly clean up messes you did not make!

    I am reminded of our helping one of our friends move out of a house that our other friends were moving into.

    I am reminded of the closing of Holistic Alliance in 2005 when we had 6,000 square feet of space to be emptied out and cleaned, making way for the new owner.

    As we were there working on the house, one of our neighbors stopped in to see how it was going. She said how fortunate our friend was to have someone who was willing to step up and lend a hand. I reminded her who our friend is. Our friend works for our local hospice. She paved the way for John’s mom to get hospice care when needed, and then for his brother, Jim, as he was dying with lung cancer. Our friend had also assisted the neighbor’s husband.

    Yes, it is a clearly “compounded” mess. As I mused about all of this, I could see that I have left messes (physical and emotional) for others to deal with. We all have.

    And admittedly — even with all of our hard work this week — we have not been able to make all things right. Doing that will fall to some other at some other time.

    Obviously, universal implications….

    And, while I could not do a great job of everything, it is my intention to leave things better than I found them.

    We can all do that.

    More obviously universal implications….

    Things are improving.

    Evidenced by that before-and-after photo!

  • Landing Page

    Sacred Stories

    She read again the information about private meetings with a woman she had recently been considering having a session with, and closed it without scheduling an appointment.

    Then she thought she might visit the website only, but she could not remember the URL.

    When she did a search for the woman’s name the first link in the results took her to the landing page about private sessions…. NOT to the general “ABOUT” landing page!


    “Circles, like the soul,
    are never ending
    and turn round and round
    without a stop.”
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    We witness the true structure of the universe and hints that the universe really is fail-safe….

  • Happy Easter!

    Sacred Stories

    She (admittedly) is not a morning person.

    Her mother was. Every morning her mom would call her too bright, too cheery, and too early. When she would answer the phone, she would hear this cheerful voice on the line, “Good morning!”

    Her mom passed…

    Easter morning she heard the phone ring! In her head she heard her own groggy, “Hello.”

    Then she clearly heard her mom’s bright and cheery voice, “Good morning. Happy Easter!”

    If you have (or would like to) love life after loss, check out Marie Alessi.

  • Pink Beach Home

    Sacred Stories

    She posted on FaceBook:

      As I look at my 120 year old, pink beach home in Rhode Island, USA, through my car window, I am amazed it is mine.

      I lived in utter poverty after my divorce. Some days, I would buy toilet paper one roll at a time. For over 8 years, I was saving everything I had for a home.

      You see, I called it “poverty with a plan.”

      My goal was to own a home.

      I saw the listing for this pink Victorian beach home. The street name was the same name as my deceased father! The number of the street address was the same number of years my parents were married. The seller’s name was that of my too-soon-departed brother.

      It was meant to be!

      They accepted my offer!

      The house and barn was better than I could ever have imagined.

      I did this. 😊 💕💕

  • Authentic Power / Universal Human

    Fear is excruciating….

    Hearing Gary Zukav express something absolutely obvious — fear is excruciating — is the roadmap to living from authentic power which is our highest purpose as humans.

    Gary adds: Authentic Power refers to our ability to create positive energy and heal any issue through the power of love.

    Whereas our normal idea of power involves control and manipulation of other people, authentic power reverses this idea to assert that the true sense of power always originates within oneself. When you become centered and align with your own states of inner joy and love, you are able to tap into a source of inspiration and creative genius that few people have known. ~ Gary Zukav

    A friend reached out recently asking my advice for his finding a doctor who would respect his desire to safely titrate off mood-stabilizing medication. I responded, “It is the same process as finding anything else we think we want. Get clear on your intention to live from your highest purpose. Ask for and expect to receive divine assistance. Soften resistance around this or anything else. Let awareness guide the way.”

    If you act on an intention with fear, you are going to create painful, destructive consequences for yourself (the same as you’ve created before) because this experience in you didn’t just come about with this partner, this business partner, this neighbor, this roommate, this classmate. You’ve experienced it before.

    And you’ll experience it again as long as you continue to escape the pain of it by changing the world. ~ Gary Zukav

    Almost daily someone is implying that we need to take action against something dreadful. We need to demand equal rights for the LGBT community; we need to protest to protect the environment; we need to demand equality for race, gender, religion. We must stand up for all of these rights.

    Wholesome action is, well, wholesome, but Zukav points out that acting on an intention with fear is definitely not wholesome. In fact, taking action that is motivated by fear can create painful, destructive and even excruciating consequences.

    The Noble Eightfold Path, an early summary of the path of Buddhist practices leading to liberation consists of eight practices: right view, right resolve, right speech, right conduct, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right samadhi. Samadhi is calm-abiding meditation, where one intends to not follow the constant flow of thoughts, to not focus on them.

    Recent news: a friend hospitalized following an intentional overdose of anxiety medication; escalation of a teenager’s mental and emotional chaos surrounding child-hood sexual trauma; a mothers recent discovery of her daughter’s anger at not having been protected from early childhood sexual trauma.

    Excruciating news.

    Injustice, abuse of power, corruption, dishonesty and despair is commonplace. These are all manifestations of fear, therefore it does not help to meet any of it with more fear.

    Zukav makes it clear: There’s nothing wrong with following that. The universe isn’t oriented in terms of right and wrong, or good and bad. It is oriented in cause and effect – there is a cause, and for every cause, there is an effect, and if you participate in the cause, you will participate in the effect.

    Today’s Daily Aaron Quote:

    There is no thought for today!

    Perhaps a reminder from the Universe that if we participate in the cause, it is not possible to not participate in the effect, so being a universal human with authentic power is totally the right action…

    Note* Here are links to the two Zukav talks these comments come from:

    Gary Zukav: Become a Universal Human with Authentic Power with Rebecca Zung

    Gary Zukav: The Simple Ways To Create Authentic Power with Vishen Lakhiani

  • Heart-Shaped Water Spot

    Sacred Stories

    Out for a bike ride, early Sunday morning, after the previous day of heavy storm-related rain, at 8:31 a.m. she photographed a distinct heart-shaped water spot.

    A few minutes later she sent it to a dear friend in a text message.

    The reply: “I was just sitting here, sobbing about Ella, feeling like she’s so far away.”

    “Nope,” she wrote back, including a rainbow symbol.

    “Your timing is divine,” Ella’s mom wrote, “I love you.”

    “I love you. Ella loves you. I love you. You love Ella. Timing is always divine. Do I have your permission to post this as a sacred story?” she asked.

    “Of course. I am still staring at this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Ella’s mom continued.

    “Also look BEYOND the sign,” she reminded.

    “I see her.” (heart symbol)



    PLEASE make an intention to notice. Every moment we are being guided. Right where we are, we are being given the opportunity to look BEYOND the sign….

    (See Ella’s Soapbox for the rest of the story.)