Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: hospice care

  • RIP Danny

    I visited with some deep friends (if not long friends) yesterday. I met them two years ago while biking in Port Charlotte and their sweetest little dog grabbed my heart and would not let it go. Of course, she was the magnet, but my friends are the glue.

    The purpose for the visit was an article from the Wall Street Journal on March 15, 2025. Yes, they had a paper copy! Jason Zweig was writing about a person who had been near and dear to him: Daniel “Danny” Kahneman. Daniel chose to go to Switzerland and end his own life while 90 years of age but still near his prime. He sent news of his decision to some close to him, spent wonderful time in Europe with family and his partner, then went alone to Switzerland. Something about his story is riveting to me and, I would guess, repulsive to others. It is a hotly debated issue….

    Two quotations in the article have made their way onto my journal page so I will share them. The first is by Annie Duke, a decision theorist and former professional poker player who wrote a book in 2022 titled, Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.

    “Quitting on time will usually feel like quitting too early.” ~ Annie Duke

    The second is by a psychologist at the University of Oregon, Paul Slovic:

    “But often the reasons aren’t reasons.
    They’re feelings.”

    This morning’s aftersharing with the Still Mountain 6:30 am Tuesday meditation group was about what is often called “comfort care” – essentially the opposite of aggressive medical treatment to save or extend life. Several of those present had very strong desire for appropriate choice to avoid pain and/or anxiety. We spoke some about the nuances of palliative or hospice care, both of which often are referred to as comfort care. (Palliative care focuses on improving quality of life for individuals with serious illnesses by managing symptoms and providing emotional and spiritual support, while hospice care is a specialized type of palliative care focused on comfort and dignity for those with a life expectancy of six months or less who are no longer pursuing curative treatment. ~ Courtesy of AI)

    The Four Immeasurables Prayer from Buddhism are profoundly meaningful to me: “May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness. May all beings be free from suffering and the cause of suffering. May all beings never lose the happiness beyond all suffering. May all beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment and aversion.”

    RIP Danny, RIP.

  • A Timely Visit

    She was sorry to have to say she could not come to sit with her husband’s cousin because she had an appointment the following morning, but during the night she received a message that her appointment had to be rescheduled.

    Seeing that news, she traveled to offer her support. Their cousin was receiving hospice care at home, was not actively conscious, nearing the end of her life.

    While she was there, she recalled how hearing is thought to be the last sense to remain, she read aloud to her the lovely Christmas card which had been received.

    When she noticed no chest rising and falling she called for hospice to come. Their cousin was pronounced dead. May she rest in peace.

    What profound gratitude came with the awareness of the changes outside of her human control that allowed her the privilege of being there that day. That awareness gently spread to other situations in her life which could bring forth concern.

    “The world is held by unseen helping hands….”

    History of Christmas cards*

      Many of the Christmas traditions we celebrate today, like trees and crackers, all started in the Victorian era. The idea of sending Christmas cards become popular after the first commercially produced Christmas card was created by Sir Henry Cole in 1843. Early Christmas cards were expensive to produce.

    May we rest in peace while we still have breath, rather than think we have to wait until we lay down these earth suits.