Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: funeral

  • Mints – A Double

    Soon after the husband of her friend had passed the white-with-red-stripes, soft, sugary mints he loved gifting to his wife started showing up. (See “Mints”.)

    For over 20 years now, this particular type of soft mint had been recognized as a welcome message of his everlasting love!

    While planning to be visiting with their family in Tennessee, they learned the husband of a couple they had gotten to know through their daughter had just died. The funeral was taking place while they were there and they were going to be able to go. In the long line waiting to visit with the wife before the funeral started, she spotted a dish of the special mints across the room. She went over, picked up two, snapped a photo, and sent that to her friend.

    After the funeral, as she was exiting the building, she walked back to the bowl to get a few more for her friend. When she looked closer, there was a double!

    The precious response to this photo of the double was, “I am always touched when a double appears.”

    It seemed a perfect assurance that this friend, too, would be faithfully watching over his wife….

  • Corinthian Bells Wind Chime

    They were planning on buying a gift for friends who lost their mom recently when she suddenly asked him what they were doing for the funeral. He responded, “Maybe flowers?”

    Immediately she said, “Let’s get them a wind chime.”

    He went back and forth if it was a good idea and sent a text message to the friend’s daughter asking her opinion. “Mom would love a wind chime,” was the response. Corinthian Bells by Wind River was the brand of wind chime they selected.

    Their friend loved the wind chime. It was especially meaningful because on the tag from 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 was this verse: “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

    That was their mom’s favorite bible verse….

  • Three Empty Chairs

    They had just taken their seats at the funeral. Their friend, Sandy, had passed so unexpectedly after a car hit her in the grocery store parking lot. “Judy should be here with us,” Kay said.

    “There are three empty chairs in our row,” she responded, “so let’s save the one next to you for Judy.” Judy was Sandy’s cousin. Judy had passed not long ago.

    Moments later as Judy’s daughter, son, and daughter-in-law slid into their row, Judy’s daughter sat down in the chair they were “saving” for Judy.

    “You know, we were saving that chair for your mom,” she said to Judy’s daughter.

    Judy’s daughter flashed a tender grin before quickly replying, “Well, then I guess I will just have to sit on her lap…. Or better yet, I will let her sit on mine!”

  • Make May Day a Mask Day

    Today is May Day.
    It is a day to hang flowers
    on the door of someone you love.

    In 1886, more than 300,000 workers walked off their jobs demanding 13,000 businesses honor an 8-hour work day on May Day.

    We know the value of doing something that benefits another. And we value doing what benefits us. Making May Day 2020 a Mask Day is a way of doing both.

    The Task of the Mask

    Beneath the mask, beyond the persona,
    beside your humanity is your true divine nature
    My friend died last week
    she went into the hospital with acute pancreatitis
    Her final ride home was on the coronavirus

    People keep asking
    if the masks are necessary
    They think they
    or the ones they love to touch
    Are surely free from COVID-19

    Another friend wore her mask
    while the plumber came to plumb
    But she did not ask him to
    protect her from his exposure
    I once hit a dog, driving home in the dark

    Would that plumber sadly feel
    remorse—a lifetime of guilt
    Were he without malice aforethought
    to have left the grim reaper running amok?
    He thought he came to help

    One simple “No,” fueled by true compassion
    is an act of wisdom and kindness for all
    I said “No,” when asked if I would consider
    coming to the cemetery or funeral home
    Doing a short ceremony for my beloved friend

    “Let’s wait and do a memorial together,
    really honoring her”

    Let’s wait
    Let’s not waste a moment
    Each time you act from wisdom
    and compassion
    You are revealing your divinity

    Debra Basham May 1, 2020 (WC 190)

    We may not be able to hang flowers in person on the door of every person we love today, but we can make this May Day a Make-a-Mask day.

    Making a no-sew sock mask is easy!


    Let me know if you would like to see the little video instructions.

    Is the task of the mask necessary? You can bet your sweet life on it….

  • Musical Mischief

    Sacred Stories

    She had buried her daughter, and now her husband.

    Another funeral….

    Her daughter and her husband, not just a “step” father, had loved each other very much.

    When the music at the funeral would not play, the pastor said, “There she is, sticking her finger in!”

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Timing is Everything

    Sacred Stories

    Lou was a young pastor just finishing up his first year in his first church. That September, he said to one of his church leaders, “Hey, David, do you think I could take off the Sunday after Thanksgiving?”

    “Sure,” he said, “just make sure you get someone to do the service. Are you and your wife going to go away to a football game?”

    “No, I will have to leave town that weekend. My Grandmother is going to die then.”

    “What? How can you possibly know that?” David demanded.

    “Well, she is dying, and when her son, my Uncle, visited her this week, she said her goodbyes to him. He wasn’t ready for that, and made her promise to be with him this Thanksgiving. So she will stay for that, then go.”

    About ten weeks later, Lou got the call that his grandmother had died—the day after Thanksgiving. He was able to go to her funeral.

    If we listen to the people we love, they will tell us what their plans are!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.