Tag: Deep Spring Meditation Center

  • Red and Blue

    I love color, and I am also fascinated by shapes. In my next life I might like to study sacred geometry. This image came up when I searched “What color does blue and red make?”

    My question about what color you get by mixing red and blue resulted from a recent post-puzzling conversation with two dear friends.

    Here is the photo of Linda and me with our completed puzzle, snapped by our hostess:

    Linda found it incomprehensible that neither Kathy nor I know which US party is represented by red, and which US party is blue!

    Our conversation had begun with questions about what I had learned at the recent Dharma Path Intensive. An inner journey is not easy to explain. When the word ‘politics’ came up, I said I could recall having heard Abraham Hicks say, “Politics is just outside of the vortex.”

    The next question was, “What is the vortex?”

    I was now trying to speak Buddhism, Abraham Hicks, and DebraESE. For this blog post, I will add some WilberESE to the mix!

    Maybe the questions about mixing the colors of red and blue might make things a bit more clear. The answer seems to depend if you are referring to pigment or light. Commonly people think about pigment. Mixing blue and red pigment, would result in purple or violet.

    However, if you are referring to light, which is additive color, mixing red and blue light produces magenta. Yikes….

    I found this reference to magenta online. It comes from Integral Theory (levels of consciousness) by Ken Wilber: Magenta Altitude tends to be the home of egocentric drives, a magical worldview, and impulsiveness. It is expressed through magic/animism, kin-spirits, and such. Young children primarily operate with a magenta worldview. Magenta in any line of development is fundamental, or ‘square one’ for any and all new tasks. Magenta emotions and cognition can be seen driving cultural phenomena.

    I am working with a few others to develop a blog called Words of Light, where the teachings of Aaron (as channeled by Barbara Brodsky) will be made available. This is a snip from one blog entry:

    The whole Earth is in process of growing through from the lowest level of consciousness, which has a very heavy vibrational frequency, to a higher and higher and higher consciousness. Just as you cannot rush the 2-year-old into the next level of consciousness, but must allow gradual transition, you cannot rush the Earth and the sentient life upon the Earth.

    But, just as your willingness to explain to the 2-year-old even though he doesn’t yet understand—to hold the door open to the next level of consciousness—is vital to his shifting into that higher level of consciousness, so your willingness to hold the door open is essential to the shift in consciousness in the Earth….

    We were all two. We were all teens.

    Also in that post, Aaron makes it clear that the levels of consciousness are not like floors in a building. They are more like intersecting planes. When lower levels of consciousness arise in us (Aaron says this happens in all of us), by being able now to see it for what it is, you do not get caught up in those early beliefs.

    Think of an election, not as two forces in opposition to each other, but really the higher consciousness inviting the lower consciousness.

    Higher consciousness is making the clear statement, “You cannot stay hidden there in such early childhood consciousness. You must move out.”

    Now this has my mind going to Wilber’s Turquoise Attitude…. Turquoise is a mature integral view, one that sees not only healthy hierarchy but also the various quadrants of human knowledge, expression, and inquiry (at the minimum: I, we, and it). Turquoise is the first to begin to integrate Spirit as a living force in the world (manifested through any or all of the 3 Faces of God: “I”—e.g. the “No self” or “witness” of Buddhism; “we/thou”—e.g. the “great other” of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, etc.; or “it”—e.g. the “Web of Life” as seen in Taoism, Pantheism, etc.).

    Perhaps I should do a search asking what two colors make turquoise….

  • Lessons from the Mold

    I am just back from a retreat/intensive with the Deep Spring Dharma Path group. This group is a two-year commitment to daily practice, weekly meetings, and twice-yearly intensives. I said this morning I have not yet found my feet, but I know where I left them, and I assume they are still there waiting for me.

    That is how grace works.

    We heard truth articulated over and over. When it is lost, where is joy? Peace? Love? Trust? Hope? You fill in the blank.

    Barbara Brodsky, founder and guiding teacher of Deep Spring Meditation Center, announced that she had seen two horses in the middle of the road as she was nearing Triple Crane Monastery in Chelsea (Michigan) where the retreat was being held. Barbara, concerned for the horses, pulled into the driveway. Seeing no one around, she honked the horn a few times. Barbara is deaf, and she has some physical challenges walking. She did not deem it feasible for her to leave her vehicle and walk to the barn to see if she could find the owner of the horses. Reluctantly, she drove on to the retreat.

    Aaron, the discarnate teacher whom Barbara channels, spoke to her. I am paraphrasing here. “If you are going to be here, be here. Or get some one to go with you and go back to check on the farmer and the horses. Either is OK, you did what you could. If you decide to be here, let it go, trusting that all shall be well.”

    As this was being shared, my mind had gone to a massage therapist in my office. Just before I drove to Chelsea, we had met with the owner of our building, the property manager, and a mold remediation professional. This therapist’s room was discovered to have an unacceptable level of active Aspergillus mold spores. For people with healthy immune systems, breathing in Aspergillus isn’t harmful. However, for one who is allergic, or those with weakened immune systems, breathing in Aspergillus spores can cause an infection in the lungs or sinuses which can spread to other parts of the body.

    This therapist has a known allergy to mushrooms, and also has some immune deficiency. A perfect storm….

    Many times throughout the retreat my thoughts would go to her. I have great compassion for what she is going through. She has only been in practice for one year, much of that year she has been feeling ill. Financially and emotionally she is drained.

    I also have great compassion for the owner of the building, and truly for everyone affected, including myself.

    At retreat I would gently remind myself to be present with the thoughts and emotions, and to remember to be here now. I was at the retreat.

    I had a precious connection with my roommate, and I worked a lot in the kitchen! One way I deal with stress is to clean. This is going to come in handy with remediation….

    We received Darshan (a Blessing) from ‘The Mother’— a very loving being whom Barbara also channels. I was told, “You are a sunbeam. A sunbeam is not diminished in any way by shining its light. Nor does it wonder, ‘Have I shined enough?’ This is a place for you to release. You are that sunbeam.”

    Oh, my, goodness!

    We received reminders to deepen our intention, and to notice where our true power is. If we feel contracted energy, we were instructed to just notice: fear, sadness, doubt, uncertainty, anger. Say to yourself, “I concentrate this contraction in service to all beings who feel _____.”

    Many years ago, a group of friends worked at another office which flooded (with gray water!) and had to go through remediation. Feelings are close to the surface as I am remembering all of that now. Every day humans are facing threat. Every day humans are experiencing harm. But as we heard—we are not just mammals. We are also awakened beings.

    From my retreat journal: You don’t have to be fully awake to be fully awake! You who can see the light, rest in the light. Guide others without going into the darkness.

    We did quite a bit of sitting, but we also enjoyed learning through play. Here I am STANDING on a balance ball (with the help of others who would catch me if I started to fall).

    And here is one of my Dharma sisters flying a kite.

    Where does joy go? Or humility? Where is justice when it is lost?

    In Buddhism, these fruits of the spirit are called the Paramitas, or the Ten Perfections.

    None are truly lost. All want to be invited back.

    How do I invite something without grasping? “I have set it in motion by my intention. If it is for highest good, it will happen.”

    I was humbled to remember that mold, like a weed in the garden, or the mosquito on my hand, is a sentient being. Can I open my heart to the mold, too, knowing it cannot stay, but cleaning it out with love? Reading about mold: By decomposing organic matter, molds play a big part in material biodegradation, enabling decay and rot necessary in all ecosystems.

    May all beings remember these valuable lessons about life, including lessons from the mold.

  • Holy Notre-Dame

    WORD FOR THE DAY

    I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly,
    acutely miserable…but through it all
    I still know quite certainly that
    just to be alive is a grand thing.

    Agatha Christie
    Visit Gratefulness.org/

    This week’s news out of Paris was shocking, and of all times to have it be Holy Week for humanity to experience such a devastating loss of such history and magnificence and relevance and beauty. The Cathedral of Notre-Dame destroyed by fire.

    Reminding ourselves of impermanence at times like this, we could/should read all of my blog posts rolled into one message. The message essentially is Agatha Christie’s: Just to be alive is a grand thing.

    We might start with Does the tree still live in your heart? and Tree of Hope.

    Then move back to Hey, Ma Durga. The following quotation is from that:

    “My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came in this earth, I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but I was still the same. When the family In which I had been born made arrangements to have this body married, I was the same… And, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.”

    Nothing—NO THING—lasts forever. We know that, and yet we deal with loss as though it is some sort of personal punishment.

    Yes, it is loss. Yes, it is sad. Yes, it is difficult. Yes, it is painful.

    But we do not have to suffer.

    We suffer because of our subtle judgment, the way we tell the story in our own heart and mind. Today’s Thought for Today from Deep Spring Meditation Center explains that well.

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    Subtle judgment is caught up in the story that contracts and says,
    ‘I’m not good at this’ or,
    ‘I should be able to do it better.’

    I might look at it and say,
    ‘I can do it better.’

    That’s not a judgment.

    I know I CAN do it better.

    Can you feel the difference?

    ‘I should be able to do it better.’ Tightness, tension.

    ‘I can do it better,’ is a relaxed and spacious perception.

    ~ Aaron

    I have been dealing with Comcast this week, updating router, cable box, and DVR. It took me five trips to the store, and many hours on the phone to finally get everything working. Right in the middle of all of that frustration (and I was feeling frustrated!), I knew nothing that was happening was eternal.

    Whatever is happening, watch the stories you tell yourself about what is happening.

    Make this a truly HOLY WEEK. Give up suffering….

  • Inter-Are

    I have been wondering about the distinction between self care and nurture (kindness and wisdom) and “distraction.” Might we be doing wholesome actions such as exercise or journal writing, or playing music, without being skillful?

    Additionally, I wrote to Barbara Brodsky, Founding Teacher of Deep Spring Meditation Center, asking about all of this. “We are encouraged to skillful practice of support practices, Metta, Tonglen, etc., that are a part of Buddhism. Might it also be appropriate to develop skillful support practices that come from outside of Buddhism? For example, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Tapping on the meridians, while being present with difficult body or mind states, and saying skillful statements can support insight and release of painful karmic patterns. One does not try to avoid the emotion, one feels (touches) the emotion, then moves through a process of working with the emotion at the level of energy and awareness.”

    Barbara clarified that the primary distinction isn’t the specific practice but what truly has drawn the practice forth. Was the motivation genuine kindness or was fear present, thereby was the real desire to “fix” something?

    Barbara went on to say that all support practices from any tradition are helpful when motivated from a spacious and kind desire to attend, rather than from a contracted fearful need to fix.

    Barbara said the ‘Daily Quote’ from Aaron clarified the question perfectly.

    When we release some of the self-identity and separation, we come to feel our interconnection with everything. The tree dances with the wind not because the wind forces the tree but because the wind and tree literally inter-are. They share the same core of being. The wind is the tree; the tree is the wind. And so they dance together. You can dance with life in the same way. ~ Aaron

    Barbara’s summation was simply, “When our practice comes from that place of interconnection, we are attending with skillful support.”

    At the relative level we appear to be separate, but at the ultimate level, there is no separate self. You can understand that no wave is separate from the ocean. The wind and the tree and you and I dance with life. We inter-are….

  • Say Only

    In September of 2018, I made a two-year commitment to a study called “The Dharma Path,” with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. I have once again been amazed at how your intention creates your experience. In Buddhism, dharma means “cosmic law and order,” and is also applied to the teachings of the Buddha. In Buddhist philosophy, dhamma/dharma is also the term for “phenomena.”

    About ten days ago, one of the board members of Deep Spring (the organization Barbara Brodsky founded) asked for my help with marketing and communication. While we were talking, a woman kept coming to mind. I made contact with this woman asking if she might be willing to help. Her reply was, “God no! I hate that stuff. I don’t even do my own. I pay tens of thousands so I don’t have to.” I thanked her for knowing what was true for her, and asked if she might know of anyone who would work with us pro bono.

    Several days later, just as I was mentioning some of this to my husband, I received a text from this woman, saying she had made contact with a marketing person who was willing!

    Wow. Can you feel the timing?

    A few days later, I had a consult with the marketing person. We had a good connection, one made even more precious for me because the woman’s voice took me to my heart. Her voice sounded exactly like the voice of a woman I was blessed to work with years ago. The story of that woman is in my book of stories: Falling Together in Love.

    I asked if she knew Barbara’s story; did she know Barbara is deaf. No, she did not. I shared how Barbara had lost her hearing (and her equilibrium!) at the birth of her first child. The loving non-physical being, Aaron, who teaches through Barbara, came forth in spirit to help her find peace from the suffering. I mentioned how people sign the first letter of each word to help Barbara read lips.

    Chills ran up and down my spine when the woman told me she had attended an ASL elementary school. American sign language! The marketing woman knows and can sign the entire alphabet…

    What are the odds? Right.

    We agreed to another call and were excited to proceed with discovering how she could help the Deep Springs board meet growth goals.

    I spoke with my friend who had made the connection, told her about the sign language connection and that the reason she was able to say yes to working pro bono was because she is creating an agency, and has an intern starting after the first of the year. It would be a great opportunity for her to develop skill working with a board, and possible because of the intern.

    My friend who connected me to the marketing person is looking for a new marketing agency….

    This morning I opened an email message from the marketing person. She found out that the intern can only work with local businesses, so she is unable to help us.

    Can you feel the waves of up and down? This is how life rolls. The entire point of the two-year study is stabilizing the heavy emotions so we are not tossed around by our grasping at things we want and our pushing against the unwanted.

    We do not know what is best, but we can trust.

    While the rest of the story unfolds, you can choose to stay present with your breath, remembering that it is the nature of life for conditions to change. Recently I have used the metaphor of a kaleidoscope—you cannot move just one single piece of glass. Everything is connected to everything, and god is good.

    Years ago I read a story about an old man with a white horse. It has come to be “Say Only” in my mind, and many of you have heard it over the years. Several online versions exist, but since I read it first in Max Lucado’s book, In the Eye of the Storm, below is that version.

    Max Lucado (In the Eye of the Storm)
    The Old Man and the White Horse

    Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.

    People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.

    One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

    The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”

    The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”

    The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”

    The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

    After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”

    The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

    “Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”

    “Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

    The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.

    “You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”

    The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

    It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.

    “You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

    The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

  • Hey Ma Durga

    I wrote this poem a few days ago while I at the 2018 Deep Spring Meditation Center retreat at Oakwood Retreat Center.

    Vipassana

    V-vast are the stories
    I-incessant the grasping, clinging, and aversion
    P-passing away; what passes away
    A-and where does “it” go?
    S-Silence, stillness, smiling or sometimes sobbing
    S-Sitting, stepping, satiating
    A-Ananda, Hey Ma Durga, Hey Ma Durga
    N-no ‘I”, no “you”, no “here”, no “there”
    A-all of as sudden after all of these lifetimes

    Settling back in to ordinary life after retreat is always a bit challenging. Walking back from the dining hall following our last breakfast I was asking how to keep this retreat mindfulness at home. A voice within began to speak.

    Think about a firefighter. How different the conditions at home on a Saturday morning enjoying blueberry pancakes with the family from being at the fire hall waiting for a call, or dashing to the fire truck when a call comes in, or pulling a body from a mangled vehicle. Has the firefighter changed? No. Different conditions house different mindfulness.

    I am sure you will be hearing more about the retreat as the weeks unfold, but for today, I am moved to introduce you to Anandamayi Ma, a 20th Century Indian Saint. I first heard her name when John Orr shared the following quotation.

    “My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came in this earth, I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but I was still the same. When the family In which I had been born made arrangements to have this body married, I was the same… And, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.”

    The central theme of all her words and expressions is this: Life and religion are one. All that you do to maintain your life, your everyday work and play, all your attempts to earn a living, should be done with sincerity, love and devotion, with a firm conviction that true living means virtually perfecting one’s spiritual existence in tune with the universe. To bring about this synthesis, religious culture should be made as natural and easy as taking our food and drink when we are hungry and thirsty.

    An ecstatic child of ecstatic parents, she became a famous saint who like many other female Indian saints stood on the edge of several religious traditions, and in the midst of none. When we chanted “Hey Ma Durga,” something deep and familiar flowed black into my soul. I hope I am forever able to live her message of everyday mindfulness.

    My heart was touched deeply by my retreat time. So, as I left the room I had shared with Claudia for eight days, this is how I left my bed linens on the bed.

  • Tree of Hope

    Right after posting this blog, I was gifted a box of blank cards titled “Tree of Hope.”
    I am posting again, with the new title and with the front of the card now included.

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    “If you wish to live in (a certain city)
    what might block you from manifesting that move?
    Is there any question about your worthiness
    to live in a place that is most delightful to you?
    Any question about fear of getting what you want?
    The question here is not where you will live
    but how will you manifest the situation you seek,
    and that must be asked by,
    What blocks that manifestation?’
    Because when the blockage is gone
    then it can be allowed to manifest.”
    ~ Aaron

    Last week our big tree was removed. I have been sitting with the question Barbara Brodsky asked me about whether the tree still lives in my heart. (See my previous blog, “Does the tree still live in your heart?“) It took a few days to honor the intense sadness, but a couple of times I could see the empty space in the yard. I was able to feel an open space in my chest and abdomen. I was reminded of the way organs and limbs that have been removed remain energetically present. I also thought of all of the loved ones in spirit whom we feel and experience as here with us after the physical form is gone. My prayer became to allow my majestic tree to live in my heart.

    Monday afternoon our park owner stopped by our house because our water meter was needing some repair. After the repairs were made, I mentioned the removal of our tree. I told him how sad I had been over the removal. “I am not trying to get anyone in trouble, but you need to know that the tree workers told me they found no rot.”

    We walked out back together and stood together in the opening under the sun where the tree’s branches used to wave.

    “I am sorry,” he said, “I would have sworn this tree had rot in the crotch and was infested by ants.”

    Looking into his face, I shook my head, and repeated, “The workers told me they found no rot.”

    I felt the spirit of the tree bolster my heart as I continued, “This park is your business, but it is also our home. We need to be able to have open communication and to trust and respect one another.”

    “I could not agree more,” he replied. My heart felt his sincerity. It was as though the magnificent old tree was smiling at us. He, too, genuinely felt the loss. Maybe not his own loss, but definitely mine. He said he is still planning to remove other trees.

    “Is there something I could have done differently?” I ventured.

    “I have learned the importance of not dismissing a communication,” he said as we parted ways.

    I trust the old tree will continue communicating. I wish to live in a world where magnificent old trees and property managers recognize their value and contribution to our planet. I wish to live in a world where men listen to women and women forgive men when they don’t.

    It still remains what will become of the potential of the space here in our yard. A gazebo? A flowering tree? A small labyrinth? A fire pit?

    When we stop fighting with what is, we begin to see the infinite possibilities.

  • Infinite Possibilities

    Deep Spring Center
    Thought for Today

    “If you wish to live in (a certain city)
    what might block you from manifesting that move?
    Is there any question about your worthiness
    to live in a place that is most delightful to you?
    Any question about fear of getting what you want?
    The question here is not where you will live
    but how will you manifest the situation you seek,
    and that must be asked by,
    What blocks that manifestation?’
    Because when the blockage is gone
    then it can be allowed to manifest.”
    ~ Aaron

    Last week our big tree was removed. I have been sitting with the question Barbara Brodsky asked me about whether the tree still lives in my heart. (See my previous blog, “Does the tree still live in your heart?“) It took a few days to honor the intense sadness, but a couple of times I could see the empty space in the yard. I was able to feel an open space in my chest and abdomen. I was reminded of the way organs and limbs that have been removed remain energetically present. I also thought of all of the loved ones in spirit whom we feel and experience as here with us after the physical form is gone. My prayer became to allow my majestic tree to live in my heart.

    Monday afternoon our park owner stopped by our house because our water meter was needing some repair. After the repairs were made, I mentioned the removal of our tree. I told him how sad I had been over the removal. “I am not trying to get anyone in trouble, but you need to know that the tree workers told me they found no rot.”

    We walked out back together and stood together in the opening under the sun where the tree’s branches used to wave.

    “I am sorry,” he said, “I would have sworn this tree had rot in the crotch and was infested by ants.”

    Looking into his face, I shook my head, and repeated, “The workers told me they found no rot.”

    I felt the spirit of the tree bolster my heart as I continued, “This park is your business, but it is also our home. We need to be able to have open communication and to trust and respect one another.”

    “I could not agree more,” he replied. My heart felt his sincerity. It was as though the magnificent old tree was smiling at us. He, too, genuinely felt the loss. Maybe not his own loss, but definitely mine. He said he is still planning to remove other trees.

    “Is there something I could have done differently?” I ventured.

    “I have learned the importance of not dismissing a communication,” he said as we parted ways.

    I trust the old tree will continue communicating. I wish to live in a world where magnificent old trees and property managers recognize their value and contribution to our planet. I wish to live in a world where men listen to women and women forgive men when they don’t.

    It still remains what will become of the potential of the space here in our yard. A gazebo? A flowering tree? A small labyrinth? A fire pit?

    When we stop fighting with what is, we begin to see the infinite possibilities.

  • Commitment to Joy in Trying Times

    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    with your one wild and precious life?

    “The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver
    from New and Selected Poems, 1992
    Beacon Press, Boston, MA
    Copyright 1992

    It has been quite some time since I made a two-year commitment to a formal program of study. Deep Spring Meditation Center is offering the course and there are a lot of facets of the commitment: daily meditation practice, daily journal entries, alternating weekly Dharma talks and small group meetings with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr. I went reluctantly to this commitment. My conscious mind struggled with the group meetings happening on Tuesday evenings, the night our Sangha meets here in Saint Joseph Sangha. Because Sangha meets the first and third Tuesday evening, at times the meetings will directly conflict. Sangha is important to me. I am already absent part of the year.

    Another aspect of the hesitation is you know something like this is going to change you.

    The focus of the Dharma Path program, from Aaron:

    If you wished to improve your health, you might start to eat more wisely, to exercise, to meditate, and to bring joy to your life. After some time with such intentions, you would probably start to ask, “What is healthy eating? What exercises shall I do? What forms of meditation are there, and what practice would be most suitable? How do I invite joy?”

    You might then study nutrition, plant a garden and learn to talk with your vegetables; practice yoga, weight lifting, running or swimming and finally begin to look deeper at the body and what best supports wholesome interactivity of the body parts. You might regard your spirit body as an integral part of the whole of body, mind and spirit, and investigate what spiritual practices most help bring ease and support the physical, emotional and mental bodies.

    Finally, you might begin an in-depth investigation of joy and find the ways that living with mindfulness, with gratitude, with generosity, all support joy. And this is just the start.

    I am sharing with all who follow the Yellow Brick Road so you can make the choice to “go for the ride.” This phrase is common in our SCS/NLP trainings—you can set your intention to receive the benefits of this transformational change work. Mahatma Gandhi said it like this, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Consider this your invitation….

    A friend who has recently moved from St. Joseph to Holland is currently reading Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness, by Loch Kelly. This friend attended Sangha in St. Joseph, and also on Pine Island, when in Florida. Shift into Freedom ties in perfectly with the Dharma Path. While you won’t be meeting all of the requirements of my two-year study, we can all get a jump start. Check out a free preview of Kelly’s book, including some amazing exercises available also on Youtube, like “What is here now when there is no problem to solve?”

    I love Mary Oliver’s poetry, and the words of the opening quote from “The Summer Day” are timely. So much is happening. Personally, politically; physically, emotionally; mentally, spiritually. It may be that nothing we will do over the next 24 months is more significant than this commitment to joy in trying times.

  • Calamity and Collapse


    Grapevine Daily Quote
    May 30
    “Truly transforming spiritual experiences are nearly always founded on calamity and collapse.”
    AA Co-Founder, Bill W., August 1957, “The Physicians”, The Language of the Heart

    August of 2017 was a month of ginormous change. We were settling into our new tiny home. My brother-in-law, Jim, passed peacefully early in the morning on Wednesday, August 16. My nephew, David, was released from prison and began what was to be one year of parole. Over the months, I have mentioned him in previous blog posts. The story of his being accepted at the men’s mission in Holland (Google Maps and 70×7); helping him get his commercial driver’s license back (A Wonderful Week); calling on kitty therapy to breathe through a crisis (Pure Positive Energy); confessions of dealing with fearful patterns (The Voice of Assurance); and his being incarcerated again (Depression: The Secret We Share).

    Through each of these posts, my fingers on the keyboard brought clarity, peace, and sanity in times of calamity and collapse. Today, again, I write.

    Last week David got out of Jail, and his mom picked him up and brought him to St. Joseph to get his truck. His job was going to keep him, and the place where he was staying was going to let him come back. Within 24 hours he cut himself out of the tether, and went on a binge again. Two days later he called his mom, asking for $200 or the dealers were going to “bash his head in.” She told him she didn’t have the money, and for him to try to get away. He ended up having my brother-in-law come and get him and he turned himself in again. His parole agent said David is in a very dark place and has asked to be sent back to prison saying parole is too hard.

    These posts are about my process, as much as they are about David. I share his pain, his disappointment, his discouragement, his despair.

    I am reminded of a funeral I went to decades ago. I do not even remember now who the woman was but I remember she had committed suicide. The pastor talked about the way we tend to view the whole by looking at a single part. He lifted up how hard she had fought the depression, how many moments of success she had experienced, how much she loved life and her family. He reminded us to remember those moments too, not just this moment of her death.

    Part of my therapy this week was watching Momma Mia! (again). Feeling my chest tighten, witnessing the lump in my throat, and welcoming tears as Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried sing “Slipping Through My Fingers” , I knew I was also watching for David. Here are the lyrics, but if you can, please, click on the link to watch the clip. Streep is brilliant. Seeing this clip is moving because it holds such truth for our human condition.

    Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
    Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
    I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
    And I have to sit down for a while
    The feeling that I’m losing her forever
    And without really entering her world
    I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
    That funny little girl
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
    Barely awake, I let precious time go by
    Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling
    And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
    What happened to the wonderful adventures
    The places I had planned for us to go
    (Slipping through my fingers all the time)
    Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
    And why I just don’t know
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
    And save it from the funny tricks of time
    Slipping through my fingers…
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
    Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile..
    Songwriters: Benny Andersson / Bjoern K Ulvaeus / Bjorn Ulvaeus
    Slipping Through My Fingers lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

    This morning I hold my mala beads as I let the illusion wash away:

    Marker bead: Namo Prajna, Paramita Hridaya. Homage to the wisdom mind.

    63rd Bead: Whatever has the nature to arise has the nature to cease and is not me nor mine.
    64th bead: When wholesome thoughts arise, cultivate the wholesome.
    When unwholesome thoughts arise, abandon the unwholesome.
    65th bead: Tend the contents of the mind with compassion, as a mindful gardener tends his garden.
    66th bead: This is the way to purify the mind and
    remove the clouds that obscure the vision of ultimate reality.

    Intention bead: In this way will I train myself.

    David is not his actions, skillful or unskillful. He is not his thoughts, wholesome or unwholesome. He is not his emotions, pleasant or painful. Nor are you and neither am I. May all beings come to the end of suffering.

    P.S. Let me know if you would like a copy of the 108 Bead “Daily Recollection” version by Barbara Brodsky of Deep Spring Meditation Center.