Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: DebraBasham.com

  • Husband’s Clothes

    Sacred Stories

    As she stood in line at the grocery store the man in front of her looked so much like her late husband it almost took her breath away. The same height, the same built, even a similar style of movement.

    Without thinking she spoke, “My husband passed recently and you are of such a similar build I am wondering if you are open to receiving his clothing. Some people are funny about that. I have been wondering what to do with them. He even has jeans he’s never worn… ”

    “Well, that is very kind,” he smiled softly.

    They also discovered he wore the same size shoes as her husband, so those went with him, too. As he was leaving with his treasures he thanked her and confessed, “I have a new job that I have to wear ‘good’ jeans for. I only had this one pair, and I have been washing them every night and wearing them again the next day.”

    She suddenly realized she had obviously truly been guided.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Preparations

    I love order. Maybe I am not totally excessive compulsive about it, but I when I have been called a “neat freak” I have taken that as a compliment.

    This week, as many others are busy with holiday preparations, I am preparing our tiny house for a big construction project that will begin right after Christmas. As some areas are being emptied out, other areas are being jam-packed.


    One of the things I notice is that even my chaos must have order to it.

    I took a break from my preparations yesterday and enjoyed listening to the December 17 talk given by Reverend Linda Beushausen at St. John UCC in New Buffalo. The talk was on Joy, specifically that joy is not an emotion but rather a choice we make. She told about a person who admits to having a challenge letting go of the stuff she has held on to that has kept her a victim and let joy in. Gay Hendricks calls this the challenge of expanding our upper limits. He says those profound shifts in your internal set points do not generally happen overnight, but Linda gave us a hint how we can access more joy.

    She said gratitude is how we get to joy. When I put that phrase (gratitude is how we get to joy) into the search bar, it yielded about 6,950,000 results! A few of those include:

      Daily Habits of Gratitude That Will Attract Joy into Your Life with Jack Canfield

      12 Powerful Gratitude Practices That Bring Joy by Joel Almeida

      5 Tips to Supercharge Your Gratitude List and Infuse Your Life With Joy by Tree Franklyn

    Today, my business partner lost his wallet. He had been running errands and when he stopped to get gas, his wallet was gone. He back-tracked to the previous stops, but his wallet was not yet found when he sent a message telling me it was missing. A few minutes later, he sent word that his wallet had been returned with everything still in it. His message ended with this: “Certainly guardian angels seem to have come to the rescue, and I’m grateful….”

    That reminded me of “Package” published July 18, 2015, in Sacred Stories. If you are not signed up to receive the Sacred Stories each week, you can sign up to do that. Sharing them gives me joy!

    As you continue with what ever preparations you are involved in right now, may you find that your gratitude is a bridge so you can find then find joy in the journey.

  • Honesty is the Best Policy

    Sacred Stories

    “You will want to know that I am out on parole. I got into trouble with drugs and have a felony,” he laid it out there.

    “My son is in prison right now related to drugs, and my daughter is addicted to opioids. I will do everything I can to go to bat for you,” came the reply.

    He realized how important it was to be honest, even if that was not easy. He was glad he could be there for this father. To demonstrate the good that can come from difficulties.

    While he did not end up getting that job, he knew his sharing was significant to both of them.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Love One Another, No Matter What


    It is a wintry day again. For the time being, I have abandoned the riding of my Airdyne in the chilly barn for walking on a treadmill in the warmth of the community room.

    My least favorite part of the winter weather is how I brace against it. The whole body tenses up, and the seconds to walk in from the car are endured, rather than enjoyed.

    I have never understood that, as I am a January baby I should love winter weather, right?

    This morning I read this marvelous quotation from Each Day a New Beginning, by Karen Casey: “We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life’s challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.”

    One friend said goodbye to her pet bunny rabbit (of 14 years). Friends are supporting their daughter through a recent diagnosis of stage 3 colon cancer. Many have lost loved ones this year. Our own family is celebrating the holidays one brother short. Life has its challenges.

    Here is a certain truth for meeting all of life’s challenges from Neale Donald Walsch: Nothing changes the environment like one person deciding to love another, no matter what.

  • I Lived in This House

    Sacred Stories

    A young man was out in the yard when an elder German man stopped. “I used to live in this house,” the old man said, before going on to add when he had lived in the house it was on another lot—over by the church.

    He would love to see inside.

    The old man pointed out the original part of the house, and the addition which he said had been added after it was moved to this location.

    The young man wondered if this was true and later discovered it was.

    The old man had an unusual feel.

    Later the young man realized he had been visited by an angel that day.

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Up In Smoke

    I used to have a “Dinner will be ready when the smoke alarm goes off” refrigerator magnet. This evening the smoke alarm went off here in the tiny house but I was not burning dinner. I was burning a piece of paper in Frankincense and Dragon’s Blood Resin to release an ancient pattern of guilt, anxiety, and emotional pain older than my body.

    Most people know of the ancient healing powers of Frankincense. Dragon’s Blood also has wonderful healing properties. It is often used for protection, power, and good fortune, and to dispel negative energy.

    The negative energy dispelled tonight goes way, W–A–Y, back. I was first aware of feelings of sheer terror in October 2011 while I was in Europe. I had been under stress for days before the evening in Switzerland when my “resting” heart rate of 103 was recorded for 30 minutes on my HeartMath emWave2.

    I have told very few people of my experiences in Europe, but I did spend three months writing about it a couple of winters past. Having heard parts of the writing, one of my Florida writer colleagues gave me this sage advice, “It is okay to go ahead and write it as a memoir, to get the emotions out. But publish it as fiction. People will have difficulty accepting your experiences as fact but they will eat this story up thinking it is fiction.”

    The paper I burned today was a representative of all 75 pages of my “Twelve Days in Europe.” I am too practical to print 75 pages to burn. That would be a waste of resources. Intention is powerful and my intention tonight is that everything inappropriate has gone up in smoke.

    In the process, charred into the piece of paper was a heart.

    The paper became a chimney, not burning but instead funneling the smoke into dancing images that were truly mesmerizing, amazing, and beautiful.

    After the resins were burned completely, I lit the paper. The ashes fell neatly into the rainbow abalone shell. After they were cooled, I went out into the cold night and scattered them onto the earth.

  • The Greatest Gift

    The holiday season is a time when we do a lot of giving and receiving. One gift I received was enjoying lunch out with Jane Foster. Jane had 22 malignant tumors on her liver when her surgeon closed her up in 1999 and told her he could not keep cutting on her. He said she needed to, “Find a holistic healer.” I’ve included a link to a video interview with Jane in 2011 at the end of this post. She lights up my life…

    Jane has discovered she loves horses and I was blessed to gift Jane with one of Amy Midnite Remisoski’s adorable Pine Pony wreaths.

    Jennifer Louden’s Self-Care Minder, Year 2, #29
    November 30th, 2001
    SELF-CARE MINDER

    It’s holiday time. Do you know where your soul is?

    Have you asked soul what she wants to do and feel during this month? Can you give her lots of time to respond (a thirty-second check while in line at the bank doesn’t work so well with soul)? And after asking, would you be willing to honor what she has to say?

    Here’s an excerpt from the Self-Care Minder written this time last year:

    This is such a tender, heart-open-wide time of year. Simple things like the blood orange and lime yellow leaves wiggling outside my window and the sound of our heater coming on bring tears to my eyes. A deep yearning to nest, to deeply connect with those I love, to know soul comfort as well as I know the curve of my daughter’s smile, simmer in me.

    A spiritual longing breaks through the surface of my life and catches my heart. It is a radiant song that I can’t quite hear the lyrics to. I want to stop and listen but instead I find myself emptying the dishwasher, sweeping the floor, sorting Aunt Edna’s silver.

    Perhaps the barrier between this longing and our daily lives grows thinner during the holidays. All that is required to cross the border is courage and stillness, and perhaps a friend for support.

    We are entitled to “to feel ourselves beloved on this earth” as the writer Raymond Carver wrote shortly before his death. Yes, dear ones, we are.

    I asked my daughter what she wanted the holidays to look like and she said, “Games like hide-and-seek and sleeping giant and everybody just being together, and you know, I would like just a few presents.”

    How strong and sincere it feels to be living soulfully during these days of darkness and glitter, yearning and connecting. What does that mean specifically? To live soulfully, I am: Stopping and pausing OFTEN to ask, “What do I really want to do?” Questioning every “I have to” especially the ones that seem so IMPORTANT. Watching for bodily sensations of feeling hurried, panicked, or pressed upon, and using these sensations to wake me up to what I’m thinking and doing, and is there another choice I would rather make?

    Basically, I’m learning there is no real reason to be freaking out over when or where to buy the Yuletide tree. Reminding myself the only thing that really can’t be replaced is time with those I love: my 82 year old Dad, my 7 year old daughter, my sister, my mom, my husband and you know, they just want peace, laughter, and a little sleeping giant game once in awhile.

    I’m letting the rest go, gently, gracefully, and with a good guffaw at all my shoulds.

    Fortunately we don’t have to wait for a health crisis to discover what our sweet soul wants. A bit ago I received a text message from Jane. “I want to write a book. Because I’ve been on this journey for 30 plus years, I think I can inspire others.”

    Like Jane’s, my sweet soul wants everyone to Imagine Healing!

  • Golfing with Papa

    Sacred Stories
    She was golfing with her grandson about 9 months after her husband transitioned. His papa had taught him to golf, starting around the age of 10. He loved it, both the game and spending time with Papa while browsing for great gold gear together on sites like https://acegolfcartcovers.com/. The little guy thought the old one to use the internet this way.

    She was sitting in the cart watching her grandson tee off and imploring her husband that she hoped he could see what a good golfer their grandson was and how much he had affected his grandson.

    At that very moment a butterfly landed on the scorecard on the steering wheel of the golf cart!

    She instantly felt her husband’s presence and smiled as he let her know that indeed he was watching….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Thankful for Release

    Thanksgiving means different things to different people. This year, I am thankful for more than most.

    So many people I love are navigating challenging situations; adult children passing with cancer, living with addictions or with those with addictions, recovering from surgery, and money stress (or lack of money stress). At the root of all of these lies FEAR.

    In essentially every situation, fear is not ideal, and religions offer many warnings.

    Of course, those who recognize we live in an inclusion-based universe realize that telling yourself not to be afraid can be counterproductive, given that sometimes it is not even your fear.

    This week while in Tennessee for Thanksgiving I was blessed to visit with a good friend who is a Nurse Practitioner. She is also a healer. She knew immediately that I had picked up some attachments, and this was the cause of the anxiety-driven elevation in blood pressure I have been experiencing.

    My initial exposure to spirit release work was in Healing Touch, through Kathy Sinnett, and a very small book, The Unquiet Dead by Dr. Edith Fiore. Her work was studied and performed (and published) by William J. Baldwin in a very big book, Spirit Releasement Therapy: A Technique Manual.

    I was fortunate to be trained by Robert and Caterina Pellegrino-Estrich as well.

    One suggestion my friend made is to notice when you are feeling anything other than good. Depression, addictions, chronic pain, fatigue, anxiety. These are all symptoms that might be appropriate for spirit release work.

    Caterina says spirit release is the first therapy to be done regardless of the presenting problem. Kathy Zerler says if you treat everyone you meet as someone who is in pain you are probably treating them right. Perhaps this is true about energetic attachments, too.

    I work in this field and I had missed my own state of attachment. I certainly feel better today.

    What else might be possible as you take responsibility to clear your energy field….

    Steps to Spirit Release Work and Soul Retrieval

    Opening ritual from Angel Gail Konz:

    I am the light
    The light is within me
    The light moves throughout me
    The light surrounds me
    The light protects me
    I am the light!

    Addressing the attachment with genuine love and desire for well-being for all:

    You died and you don’t have a body.
    Your being attached to hurting me and it is not good for you.
    There is no hell. All that awaits you is a wonderful light body.
    Look for the light. Beings that love you are welcoming you so we can both be free
    We all deserve to be free. You are loved. Go now….

    You will sense this release, maybe seeing or hearing confirmation as well. Immediately begin to call your spirit back from this time in childhood. You might imagine picking a bouquet of flowers or gathering a basket of fruit or any metaphor that allows you to claim all of your own genuine parts. Others can have their own…

    Closing ritual:

    I release all energy that does not belong here. I release all karmic responsibility and obligation in and around this work, knowing the work comes from our expanded self and God. I give thanks for the many blessings, above all the honor and privilege of serving.

  • No Flood!

    Sacred Stories

    They were very anxious. The water bill for their winter home in Florida was about $500.

    He must have forgotten to turn the water off.

    A neighbor was going to check. They worried what damage might have been done to their home knowing all of that water had to go somewhere.

    He had forgotten to shut off the water.

    Fortunately, she had also forgotten to close the drain.

    There was no flood!

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.