Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: DebraBasham.com

  • Bells!

    While it may not immediately make total sense to everyone, my silent insight meditation retreat week was made much richer just because on Monday when we arrived I signed up to be the bell ringer for Saturday.

    Let me begin by sharing these comments from my meditation teacher, Barbara Brodsky:

    Another way we create much pain for ourselves is by our inability to live in this moment. There’s nothing wrong with planning, but when we’re planning, we seldom KNOW we’re planning. We use it as a way of escaping our lives. Often, attention is scattered. We find little real joy and peace in this moment. We stop for a cup of tea; while we drink it, we plan the afternoon, trying to free the schedule to fit in the game of tennis. We rush through the work, and reach the courts. Through the tennis match, thoughts of the evening meeting intrude.

    Signing up as Saturday’s bell ringer, I asked one of the retreat managers about the schedule. At previous retreats with this group, each bell ringing time was signed up for separately. I was always awake early, so I often chose the first bell of the morning. It was easy for me, and I considered it a gift because so many people don’t wake up early. At this retreat, we were making a commitment to ring every bell for an entire day.

    I had carefully selected Saturday to give myself a few days off before providing the service to the community.

    The manager responded to my question about the schedule with, “The times for the ringing of the bells are on the sheet. That sheet will go with the bell.”

    My mind was off and running. I saw on the sheet that bells were scheduled at 6:00 am, 6:30 am, 7:00 am, 7:30 am, 9:00 am, 11:15 am, 12:00 pm, 2:00 pm, 2:30 pm, 4:30 pm, 5:15 pm, 6:30 pm, and 7:30 pm. Not much of a retreat day….

    The purpose of the ringing of the bells is to allow attendants to let go of the slavery to planning mind, busy mind, and to be more present. The 6:00 am bell is the first wake-up bell, for those who will attend the early (6:30 am) chanting and meditation sitting. The 6:30 am bell is to announce that event. The 7:00 am bell is the wake-up bell for those who do not attend the early sitting. The 7:30 am bell announces breakfast. Each bell is to be rung five minutes prior to the event time.

    This retreat was held at Oakwood Retreat Center a 40 acre property in Selma, Indiana. It takes a full 15 minutes to get around to each of the five residential buildings. (I know because I timed it.)

    My habit energy fear of “not doing it right” revealed itself around bell-ringing. This was not the first time I had noticed this energy. At the very first Deep Spring retreat I attended, bell ringing had my mind in a twist. Did no one know that it was impossible to ring a bell five minutes before an event at every location when it takes ten or fifteen minutes to get across the campus? I thought many years at retreat had freed my mind from this habit energy, but alas, here was the subtle panic pattern again.

    On Monday, I wrote an anonymous note on the flip chart in the dining hall: “What bells are to be rung?”

    The answer from am equally anonymous retreat manager appeared on the chart: “The times are marked on the sheet with the bell.”

    I noticed the churning thoughts. I would wake in the night. I considered crossing my name off the list to free myself from the mind twisting. Aware of the play of mind, and the opportunity to be present with that, I accepted as gift the ability to observe the workings of the conditioned mind rather than run from them.

    On Friday morning, I decided I would ask someone in the community who was not going to attend the 6:30 am chanting and meditation to ring the 7:00 am and 7:30 am bells so I could. I wrote my request on the flip chart. Notes from two willing volunteers were placed in the basket. With profound appreciation, I accepted one offer.

    At 10:30 Friday morning I went in to my small group with Barbara Brodsky. Before our group started, Ellen (the bell ringer for Friday) said, “I will need to leave about fifteen minutes early to ring the noon bell.”

    Note* Barbara Brodsky is totally deaf! (See Deep Springs for more information about Barbara.)

    Barbara responded to Ellen’s comment about needing to leave early to ring the noon bell with a question and a declaration, “Why are they ringing a noon bell? That is not necessary. You just stay here. Everyone will know it is time for lunch.”

    I admit to jumping on that band wagon. I began by saying I had thought right away there were way too many bells, had even asked the managers about that, and I was the one signed up to ring the bells the following day.

    When we gathered at 2:00, Barbara casually brought up the bell schedule. She apologized for having missed the mix up on the final schedule. I had already marked the five bells I thought were needed. It was agreed to those five bells as a revived schedule.

    So, what is the moral of this ringing tale? So you can understand totally, I will share a few more of Barbara’s comments:

    How we may learn to live more fully in this moment is a primary focus of insight meditation. We find much peace and happiness, and deeper ability to concentrate on the work at hand, when we learn such focus. We begin to understand what continually pulls us out of the moment and to not need to do that so much . And we find more kindness and patience toward ourselves when we DO repeat those old patterns! In learning kindness toward ourselves, we learn it toward others!

    Amen.

    (Send email to debra@scs-matters.com if you would appreciate receiving a handout of Barbara’s basic insight meditation instructions. Check out Presence, Kindness, and Freedom Aaron’s Teachings on Living from an Open Heart for tips on clearing habit patterns.)

  • Polished/Unpolished

    Sacred Stories

    She preferred going to confession out-of-town. Something felt much safer to her not being known by the priest hearing her tell of her inner worries, wounds, and wonderings.

    The priest suggested she buy a special kind of stone—one that had a rough side and a polished side. He said that stone was to remind her that difficult times are just the polishing process.

    She fished around in her purse to produce a key chain she had bought two weeks prior:

    unpolished

    polished

    Have a Sacred Story of the divine workings in your life or the life of someone else you know? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • The Whole Show

    Regret & Remorse

    Regret & Remorse
    Are photo-shopped
    Pixels of fragmented
    False memories.
    Reboot.
    Enjoy the whole show.

    Francie Lynch, June 6, 2015

    This is one of those lessons I hope I can remember to benefit from for the rest of my life.

    I love scarves. Seeing a perfectly chosen scarf as the pièce de résistance began in my former life (1970’s) working as a retail fashion buyer, merchandiser, and salesperson.

    Possibly the most expensive scarf in my collection is an Oscar de la Renta silk original I found at Goodwill for $1.99.

    Now I may have worn it for the last time.

    I was blessed to spend last week at a meditation retreat. In the sanctuary at Oakwood Retreat Center, there sat a beautiful quartz Tibetan crystal singing bowl. They are very easy to play and have an amazing sound vibration.

    A suede covered mallet is used to circle the outside rim of the bowl. With a steady, even-handed pressure and continued movement around the rim, the tone initiated by the chime builds in clarity and intensity.

    I looked for the chiming mallet—checking in the few places it might possibly have been left out of view, but no mallet was to be found, so I left the sanctuary wishing I could have played the bowl.

    A couple of days later, I was back in the sanctuary again, and this time grasping mind got the best of me. I could figure out something I could use to get that bowl singing. I knew I could!

    I took my little flashlight out of my bag, slid it lightly around the rim, but it was too harsh against the crystal surface of the bowl to be safe and it generated a squeaky pitch.

    Without thinking, I took off my scarf, carefully wrapped it around the flashlight, pressed it against the rim of the bowl, and voilà, we had a mallet for the singing bowl!

    The tones of the bowl came to life. The walls of the sanctuary were suddenly filled with lovely vibrations. My whole being sang along….

    After my mini concert for an audience of one, I began to unwind my scarf from the makeshift mallet.

    scarf

    I now have the choice to remember the hole in Oscar’s silk scarf or the feeling of exhilaration I experienced hearing the bowl sing those beautiful tones to my heart and soul.

    Perhaps not every lesson has such clear choice….

  • Ants!

    Sacred Stories

    As she woke up that morning, she was dreaming of ants. She was sitting on the sofa, and scads of ants were crawling all over.

    She was trying to scoop them up, and place them out-of-doors safely, but there was an endless amount.

    A few moments later, in the kitchen preparing her baby’s bottle, she was eye-to-eye with an ant!

    If you do an internet search for “ant totem meaning” you will learn about the need to have patience, to work together with the community, and that you are more capable than you ever imagined. (Ants can carry 30 times their own weight!)

    We can all probably benefit from a bit more patience, persistence, and endurance.

    Have a Sacred Story about an animal totem you encountered? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Who’s Team Are You On?

    If you are a fan of the Chicago Cubs, you know that the events happening at this time are a very big deal. The Cubs won back-to-back World Series championships in 1907 and 1908, becoming the first Major League team to play in three consecutive World Series, and the first to win it twice. While the Cubs have appeared in a total of ten World Series, their most recent was way back in 1945, before I was born….

    I find watching competitive sports an interesting activity, mostly because I want everyone to win. I celebrate a good play regardless of who made it. I appreciate the commitment, the dedication, and good sportsmanship. One of the things I treasure about the dancing reality shows (So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars) is what I perceive as genuine support they express for one another in the midst of the competition. In spite of the fact that it is obvious only one person will win the coveted mirror ball trophy, or the quarter of a million dollars and the title “American’s Favorite Dancer,” they seem to truly care about the outcomes for each of them. Several of the professional dancers are in relationship to other professionals. Some are married. It is a fascinating model of possibilities.

    If you don’t watch the show, you might be very impressed to watch a brief video of Terra Jole, the first “little person” to be on the show. (Subscribers to my blog should use the following external link to watch Terra Jole and Sasha Farber doing the jive.)



    We can bring commitment, dedication, and good sportsmanship to all of life. I imagine this cooperative competition as our way of being in the world—including the world of politics.

    If you agree, you might wish to join millions of people on Sunday, November 6, 2016, at 7:00 pm Eastern time. James Twyman is inviting folks for a synchronized meditation to lift the energy of the upcoming presidential election. He says, “THIS IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING YOU CAN DO! Please share with everyone you know.”

    Here is a brief (2 minute) video about the meditation opportunity: (Subscribers to my blog should use the following external link to view the Lifting the US Election video.)



    howard-smith-and-siblings

    I am certainly thinking of my father in heaven watching his Cubbies. Whatever the outcome, pay attention to who’s team you are on. We are all in this game of life together. (My dad is the one right in the middle of this photo of him with his siblings.)

  • How’s Debbie?

    Sacred Stories

    “It’s hard to believe in coincidence, but it’s even harder to believe in anything else.”
    ~John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson

    Denise and Marian were standing out in the yard chatting. Denise asked Marian if she knew how a mutual friend, Debbie, was doing.

    Just then, Debbie rode up on her bicycle!

    Have a coincidence to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Starr

    Sacred Stories

    Starr was a wonderful dog. Starr lived with Linda and Tim, and their children, Billy and Christie. Starr loved each of them, and the family was blessed to have her with them for seventeen years.

    black dog

    Starr began having really bad health problems. It was painful for the family to watch.

    One day, as she was being bathed, Starr’s beautiful black fur began coming out in clumps.

    Starr could barely move, so Tim took her to the vet. When the vet recommended putting Starr to sleep, Tim went back home to get Linda. The vet administered a shot, allowing Starr to pass peacefully in Linda’s arms in just a few seconds.

    Oh, how Linda cried!

    But Linda says she remembers well what happened next, “As I left the room, I went out into the lobby where a woman unsuccessfully tried to keep her dog from jumping all over me. I went down on my knees, hugging and petting that dog. I told the owner how much I needed that then. It was a beautiful experience that can still move me to tears all these years later.”

    Send email to debra@scs-matters.com with a Sacred Story you would like to share.

  • The Appearance of Things

    It has been three years since I first watched the film Cloud Atlas, yet, after watching it again this week my fingers move over the keys trying to create an outlet for my unspeakable emotions. I confess that the watching did not cause my emotions, but it has amplified feelings long buried within my psyche.

    If you, like me, need a refresher about the film, you can access that September 2013 blog post:”Answer the Call.”

    The timing of this watching (and the depth of emotions) might be amplified by current events. One friend is dancing on the edge of duress anticipating a double mastectomy on Tuesday. Another friend has just received a diagnosis of leukemia for her young son.

    A few days ago when I opened The 50 Miracle Principles of A Course in Miracles, by Kenneth Wapnick, Ph.D., I read these words: Just as the body cannot be healed because the body was never sick, the body cannot rise from the dead because the body never died.

    If you are new to the Course, it is important to understand that a core premise is that the world as we experience it is a delusion of the mind. In Indian teachings, this is called illusion, or Māyā. A simple way to think about it is to notice how a state of impermanence permeates everything in our experience. According to Wikipedia, “that which exists, but is constantly changing and thus is spiritually unreal.”

    Martin L. Rossman, M.D., addresses faith healing, placebo effects, and imagery in Healing Yourself: A Step-by-Step Program for Better Health Through Imagery. Rossman writes of meeting Edna, who had been refusing medical treatment, saying that Jesus was going to heal her. He asked her how she communicated with Jesus, and then suggested she ask Jesus to heal her in the next six weeks, agreeing to tests at that time, and to treatment, if necessary.

    Six weeks later she returned. The examination and the tests showed nothing abnormal!

    Norman Cousins healed himself by taking Vitamin C and watching Marx Brothers movies and Candid Camera shows.

    Brandon Bays healed herself of a massive tumor in six weeks, with no surgery and no drugs.

    Whatever it is that allows some people to regain health after encountering a serious diagnosis, it is undeniable: our mind, body, spirit, and emotions are interwoven.

    I sent my friend this dentist skit where Tim Conway is the would-be dentist and Harvey Korman is the patient. Every time I watch it, I laugh so hard my stomach aches.



    I also sent Red Skelton and Carol Burnett, and suggested she search for “Babies laughing at dogs.” I told her to watch and laugh for half an hour, then go to bed with her sweet puppy dog. It feels wonderful to laugh. We probably all need to laugh more. And pets are sooooo healing! These are important things to remember.

    And it is vitally important to know we have help. My friend/colleague Dr. Douglas Busby just released his new book Spiritual Healing: Help from the Spirit World. Doug will be signing books at a talk on Sunday, November 13, 2016, at 3:30 pm, here in St. Joseph. Let me know if you are interested in attending.

    For sure, it helps to remember nothing lasts forever, and what’s more, everything is nothing, including you and me.

    We live in an illusion and the appearance of things.
    There is a reality. You are that reality.
    When you understand this, you see that you are nothing,
    and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.
    ~ Kalu Rinpoche

  • Turquoise Ring

    Sacred Stories

    Separated from her husband, adjusting to parenting her son alone, nervous about finances, especially now missing the support of her mother, she went for a hypnotherapy session.

    “Do you have a piece of jewelry from your mom?” the therapist asked.

    She told the therapist, “Strange you should ask. I have my mom’s turquoise ring, but in the recent chaos of life, I have not been able to find it.”

    During the session, a memory related to the ring surfaced. She had been suffering with a ligament issue in her thumb. It was not healing. She put her mother’s ring on, and within one day, her thumb was healed. She knew the ring would show up and everything would be OK…

    Later that evening, she sent a photo to the therapist, with this message, “Look what I found!”
    ring

  • Saluting Sally

    Life is wonderFULL. Some days and some times of our lives are definitely more full than others.

    Today is the one year anniversary of my mother-in-law’s transition. I’ve written about her passing in Musings from an Estate Sale, and spoken about it in Celebrations of Life, a talk given at Unity by the Lakeshore the morning after the final day of the estate sale.

    One week ago today, I had the honor of giving the eulogy for John’s Aunt Nor.

    Yesterday, I sat with my beloved sister as she supported their sweet cat, Sally, in crossing the Rainbow Bridge.

    As much as I try to not write so much about life and death, it is life after death keeps calling my fingers to the keyboard.

    You may appreciate a reminder of our seeing the boat named Miss Ellie on the highway as we drove home from the first Basham Family Reunion without John’s mom with us in body. Miss Ellie is the nickname given to my mother-in-law by another of her daughters-in-law, Cindy.

    This morning, I opened my email to a Quotation for the day from David Bloyd. “Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.” According to David, the author of this quotation found on marcandangel.com, is unknown. Known or unknown, the writer has spoken a powerful reality.

    A bit before noon yesterday I drove my sister and her precious kitty companion to the vet. Janis’ husband, Larry, was working. The regular vet was on vacation, but they had someone filling in. The vet who saw us was a young woman. As she was in that room with us, her own story came out. One month ago, she had to put her dog down. She had loved that dog for ten years. She, too, had waited so long the injection had to go into the heart. She fought her tears, gave us hugs, and shared her own tender experiences, Janis and I agreed Sally’s needing support to complete her transition may have been as much about that tender-hearted vet as it was about Sally and the two of us.
    sally-at-vet

    The threads of our lives are connected…. We can appreciate that truth.

    Sally had come to my brother-in-law’s art studio over 16 years earlier. Sally’s ears and tail were bare of hair—having been sheered by frostbite. We can endure painful experiences in life. A month of Larry’s consistent and compassionate feeding resulted in this former feral’s finally coming inside where it was warm. Sally became a studio cat, and she has been a studio cat since that day…. Not one time during the next decade and a half did an open door or window tempt her away from her place of warmth and love. She had been there and done that!
    sally-blue-eyes

    Today, I will ride my bike to yoga class in the autumn sun.

    You can appreciate the truth. As J.K. Rowling wrote in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, “The ones who love us never really leave us, you can always find them in here.”