Debra Basham Archives - Page 8 of 105

Say Only – A Pressure Washer

Well, the Best Buy / Comcast / Samsung saga has continued. Friday, August 22, 2025, at 8:30 am a Samsung repair person confirmed his arrival between 10 and 12 by text message. I turned the TV on. At 11:49 it began flickering…. at 12:05 I received a text message saying he would arrive in 25 minutes. Of course, it did not flicker even once while he was here. He did a factory reset and told me to keep an eye on it. If it did it again he would come back and replace the board.

An hour later, it was flickering again….

Last evening we were with friends. As I gave that update, the husband said I was too nice. I needed to tell them what to do in no uncertain terms. I shared how profoundly served I have been by the people who are the workers in the systems that are undeniably broken. The systems have failed, but working in those systems are good people doing their best to do good. Case in point was our trip on Saturday to Best Buy so we could spend the dollars generated by the purchases we have made. We were able to get a pro pressure washer that retails for $319 plus a $39 surge protector for only $25.

The gentleman who helped us is the general manager of the Benton Harbor Best Buy. The woman who was so kind to me in July when the TV first began flickering was there as well. I thanked them both and updated them on our process with Comcast and Samsung. This all brings to mind a famous parable, often attributed to Cherokee or other Indigenous American peoples, about a battle between two wolves within every person.

An elder tells his grandson about a great battle happening inside every person, describing it as a fight between two wolves. The first wolf is evil, representing out of control unpleasant emotions like anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, and ego. The second wolf is good, representing pleasant emotions like joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, and faith.

The grandson, worried about the ongoing conflict, asks, “Which wolf will win?”

Grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”

The parable’s core message is that you control which part of your nature grows stronger by choosing where you put your energy and attention. By focusing on positive, productive, and beneficial thoughts and actions, you “feed” the good wolf and help it thrive. Conversely, dwelling on negativity and harmful actions strengthens the evil wolf.

Some versions of the story offer a more nuanced approach, suggesting that both wolves are necessary. In this interpretation, if you only feed the good wolf, the evil one will hide and wait for you to be weak or distracted. By acknowledging and managing both, you can use the traits like tenacity and strategic thinking guided by wisdom and compassion. This approach teaches that peace comes from finding a balance between your opposing inner forces, not by trying to destroy one.

This morning as we were enjoying a bike ride a friend was speaking about personal belonging that have been given to her from the estate of loved ones. She was wondering about the morality of keeping or dispersing these items. We spent some time pondering the preference of the item. Might it prefer to be where it was appreciated, useful, and valued rather than simply possessed out of a desire to not hurt someone’s feelings. We were able to see the value beyond a simple right or wrong action.

Another friend is reading a book about Shadow Work that had belonged to her late husband. Ah, yes, best to be aware that light casts shadow. Now this reminds me of the “say only” story. The man whose son was injured by a horse and the father’s measured responses to a series of events involving his horse and son. As others would jump to saying it was a blessing or a curse, he would carefully maintain a “say only” attitude.

Say only the Samsung “Service Quick” repair is scheduled now for tomorrow, Monday, August 25, 2025. It has been one month since the first flickering occurred.

Best fact about wolves:
Contrary to popular belief, alpha males do not take the first bite of their catch. Instead, the pack usually lets the hungriest one eat first. Humans can learn how to foster teamwork, confidence, and trust in our instincts in the workplace.

August 24, 2025

Mahogany Table

My friends wanted a larger dining table. But it had to be one that could also be small enough for the four of us to play cards or dominoes, as we often do.

I had put an item on Marketplace but the smaller items that had not sold went home with my daughter for her to list in a larger market. I thought I had pulled all of the listings and was surprised to get a message about the Bose sound system. Searching for my listing, I came across a dining room table and 4 chairs: “Beautiful mahogany table with claw feet. Antique table that goes from 4 feet to 7 feet.” It was less than 30 minutes away. And the price was very reasonable. I sent that listing to my friend.

A few days later I received a text message from her, “Going to look at that table from Facebook Marketplace today at 5:30. Hoping it works!”

I wrote back, “The craziest thing is that I saw the listing for the table when I was responding to a message about a listing I thought I had pulled.”

She added, “Crazier yet is that I’ve been looking on FB Marketplace for a month or more now and never saw this one.”

At 7:38 pm she sent a photo of their new beautiful antique mahogany table already set up in their dining room along with this message, “And three leaves so it will comfortably seat 12!”

August 22, 2025

Today I Will Choose Joy

Regrets are like eating rat poison expecting the rats to die. Rather than living with regrets, we can choose to savor every opportunity to love. This is how my yesterday felt (feels).

When my niece was in 8th grade she went to live with her dad and step-mother. She will be 52 on her next birthday. I feel like one year ago she came back into my life and my world is so much richer because we are here now. Her mom passed in January.

As we were planning her day here with us we decided to leave options open, and yesterday she drove over from Ann Arbor area to spend the day. We had a glorious day. Each moment was precious. There was ample time for both tears and laughter….

(Note* If you receive this post via email and the photos are not included, please click on the title and read it on the website so you don’t miss anything.)

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will share a set of photos that gives you a clear sense of our day. The first is a close up of a banner (had been a favorite of her mom) our niece gifted to my sister after her mom had passed. It now hangs over the massage table for clients to see above them. It says: Today I Will Choose Joy.

The challenge became how to get a photo that showed clearly it was on the ceiling above the table, so the fun began in earnest. Here is my niece on the floor and my sister at the foot of the massage table each trying to get a shot….

Then I had the idea for all three of us to get on the massage table and take a selfie which sounded plausible until we realized the banner was backwards!

One last try resulted in total failure to get the banner but we captured a beautiful memory of the three of us.

We drove by my niece’s childhood home, her elementary school, the fields where she played ball, and the former home of her her maternal grandma and grandpa. All of our sharing and shenanigans put us driving by the home of her paternal great grandma and great grandpa at the exact time a man was crossing the road to get his mail. “That’s a relative!” she burst out. Soon I was turning the van around and she spent precious time with the cousin who had grown up with being called a twin to her father.

As we headed back to the house to meet the guys, we marveled at the holy timing of our being there to see him. We had made two calls asking about an impromptu visit with a couple of folks, but both had declined. It probably took him all of two minutes to come out and walk across the yard. The exact two minutes that we were creeping by….

Earlier in the day as she had gotten close to our house a car almost side-swiped her on a road heavy with memories. She told us she had said out loud, “Nice try, Devil dog, not this time. You lose, I get to choose.”

My niece shared with us how she would give her testimony as evidence that painful things (awful things) can (and did) happen to us but the holy love of Jesus carried us through and we can look back and see that we were carried. She said the day could not have turned out any better.

And as the three of us posed for this photo on our porch, words from my sister’s text message this morning say it all: “Yesterday was one of the most wonderful days of my life.”

August 16, 2025

A New Look at Service

Twice in the past several days I have have been invited to look at the habit energy of a person doing or not doing something in opposition to one’s own desire out of obligation or not wanting to offend, disappoint, or hurt another. I decided to put this situation to question using AI.

Acknowledge people-pleasing tendencies. Recognize that you’re tempted to agree to avoid conflict or gain approval. Understanding the root cause can be helpful in overcoming this behavior.

Consider the source of the request, the quality of your relationship, and whether the favor aligns with your values and capacity to help. It’s normal to feel guilt or anxiety when you start setting boundaries. Acknowledge these feelings as part of the process and remember that saying no isn’t a rejection of the person, but a commitment to honoring yourself.

Be direct and kind. State your needs and limitations clearly and assertively, but with respect for the other person. Avoid making excuses or over-explaining your decision.

Use “I” statements to express needs and limits without sounding accusatory or confrontational. Saying no is a crucial aspect of establishing boundaries and prioritizing needs. It is important to honor true feelings and communicate expectations.

If appropriate, suggest an alternative solution or a different way to help without compromising needs. Be firm and consistent: Once a boundary is set, stick to it, even if others push back.

The wisest approach involves a process of self-discovery, respectful communication, and a commitment to prioritizing your own well-being without neglecting the needs of others. It’s about finding a healthy balance between being kind and considerate to others, and being true to yourself.

Stacey and I had some heartfelt sharing about all of this on our bike ride while she was here last week. We spoke clear intentions to love one another and ourselves and to be willing to express with continued honesty and trust as circumstances change. And circumstances do…. that is for sure.

I remember Betty Lue Lieber teaching us that our service must also serve us. The lyrics to the song “Garden Party” by Ricky Nelson come to mind:

“But it’s all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can’t please everyone
So you got to please yourself.”

August 5, 2025

August Wedding

It was 1976. Their daughter was six years old. Cancer!

It was only June but their daughter was sooooo excited about an upcoming family wedding. Her dress had already been chosen. The wedding was not until August.

As the doctors listed off the side effects of the chemotherapy her mother began to pray, “Lord, please don’t let her hair fall out until after the wedding.”

Their precious child went to that wedding with a full head of beautiful black hair.

The morning after, her beautiful black hair fell out…. But her beautiful black hair grew back in. Praise God!

And when this Sacred Story was posted in July, 2025, that “child” was a fifty-five-year-old mother-of-two and grandmother.

July 22, 2025

Hilma of Klint

“She was well-educated,
she had a mind of her own,
and she painted like nobody else.”
~ opening words from the trailer of the Zeitgeist Films
“Beyond the Visible: Hilma of Klint.”
The jigsaw puzzle she had borrowed from the public library featured an image done by the artist Hilma of Klint, born in Sweden in 1862. Hilma was both an artist and a mystic. Her paintings are considered among the first major abstract works in Western art history. Hilma died in 1944.

Leafing through the April/May 2025 edition of the Smithsonian Magazine she was surprised and delighted to see an article featuring Hilma of Klint! What are the odds of that??? She was awestruck to be seeing the article on the very day she was doing the puzzle of the Hilma piece….

She does not subscribe to the Smithsonian magazine but a friend she seldom sees had sent this edition to her by mail because the cover story is about the Buddha and the friend said she didn’t know anyone else interested in the Buddha.

The magazine arrived many days earlier, but as she had time to do a puzzle that day she thought she best also look at the free magazines which had collected. Among the pile was the Smithsonian. She felt she should check out the story of the Buddha and thank her friend for sending it.

And there was Hilma waiting for her!

She writes, “It was so out of my control. It was a great teaching for me that I do not have to control everything. TRUST Life. Things will unfold without your pushing them along.”

Her sense of wonder amplified as she looked again at a drawing she herself had done during the pandemic. Perhaps she, too, was both an artist and a mystic. The urge to draw circles highlighting energy or essence that might otherwise be missed was palpable as she saw deeper meaning in her persistent inner calling to “Pick up the brushes….”

July 17, 2025

Xfinity

Where is the beginning of a ring? What is the beginning of a climate with four seasons? Which stage of a butterfly is the beginning or the end? In starting this blog post, I know not these answers.

“The Game of Life” is a Sacred Story posted on 4 July 2025:

The Game of Life & How to Play It

Soon their sharing became deep enough he was making a few notes on his phone. As their visit was winding down he said, “Earlier you shared a quote — until it is felt in the body, peace is just a word — and you did not give an attribution.” Then he asked, “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t have an attribution,” she replied, “because someone shared it at church on Father’s Day without an attribution. I have not tried to find out where it came from but I find it to be very powerful.”

He began reading to her the conclusion from his AI search for the attribution: “The quote — until it is felt in the body, peace is just a word — is most likely attributed to Florence Scovel Shinn….

The Sacred Story “Positivity” posted a bit later on 4 July 2025:

Affirmations & Denials

(For Prosperity)
God is my unfailing supply, and large sums of money come to me quickly, under grace, in perfect ways.

(For Right Conditions)
Every plan my Father in heaven has not planned, shall be dissolved and dissipated, and the Divine Idea now comes to pass.

(For Right Conditions)
Only that which is true of God is true of me, for I and the Father are ONE.

(For Faith)
As I am one with God, I am one with my good, for God is both the Giver and the Gift. I cannot separate the Giver from the gift.

(For Right Conditions)
Divine Love now dissolves and dissipates every wrong condition in my mind, body and affairs. Divine Love is the most powerful chemical in the universe, and dissolves everything which is not of itself!

(For Health)
Divine Love floods my consciousness with health, and every cell in my body is filled with light.

(For the Eyesight)
My eyes are God’s eyes, I see with the eyes of spirit. I see clearly the open way: there are no obstacles on my pathway. I see clearly the perfect plan.

(For Guidance)
I am divinely sensitive to my intuitive leads, and give instant obedience to Thy will.

(For the Hearing)
My ears are God’s ears, I hear with the ears of spirit. I am nonresistant and am willing to be led. I hear glad tidings of great joy.

(For Right Work)
I have a perfect work In a perfect way: I give a perfect service For perfect pay.

(For Freedom from All Bondage)
I cast this burden on the Christ within, and I go free!

Moments later she read the Daily Word July 1, 2025:

I understand the ebb and flow that is part of everyone’s life. If I find myself in undesirable circumstances, I honor my feelings by witnessing my fleeting negative thoughts and feelings with self-compassion. When I feel ready, I release and let them go.

I deny that negativity has any power over me. I use affirmations to realign myself with my positive nature. I accept the conditions of my life even as I strive to improve them. Positivity is my way forward. With gratitude, I affirm God is with me as I claim my highest good.

Set your minds on things that are above,
not on things that are on earth.
~ Colossians 3:2

Take note that this body of work was first published in 1925 — 100 years ago! I was so inspired by Shinn’s works I created the following composite affirmation for myself:

I do not resist any situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Love and Wisdom. Let the Divine idea now come to pass.

Infinite
Love
and
Wisdom
= LAW

I am in perfect harmony with the working of the LAW. I stand aside and let Infinite Intelligence make easy and successful my way.

True confession is that I am the “she” in both of these Sacred Story posts. And the rest of this subsequently sacred story is even a bit more shocking….

We have had an ongoing Xfinity internet issue since we got back to Michigan in April. “Eric” came in May and ran a bright orange temporary wire from the utility pole to the house and someone was to come back in the next week or two to bury the line. Michigan Gas Utility Company came and marked the gas line with spray paint on our lawn.

On June 6, we received a text message saying, “You’re all set! Your new Xfinity underground cable line is complete. Get in touch if you need anything. Otherwise, enjoy your Xfinity service.”

John and I had both been home all day on June 6 and no one had come to bury the cable and remove the temporary line. By the first of July the paint line on the grass marking the gas lines had faded and John was very tired of having to mow around the orange wire. We were again receiving the messages, “Your internet connection has been restored.”

On Wednesday, July 2, I spent two hours of real time (not an exaggerated description) on a text chain during which I was offered two free Apple Smart Watches. When pushed for more information, I was told the bill for the two free watches with all the taxes and fees would be $25 monthly only. During this call, I discovered we had been charged $100 for “professional installation” on our June bill! I requested a refund. Even as I received both text and email messages saying our refund request could not be approved and the ticket had been closed, the text chat assured me I was getting the money back.

Although I had been told the reason I had to stay on the text chat responding to each entry immediately with a word or even an emoji was so an appointment could be confirmed, when the text chat ended, I still did not have an appointment.

Thursday morning was beautiful. Cool, good air quality, low wind, sunny. I headed out for a nice long bike ride. About 2 miles from home I stopped at a couple of garage sales. Walking back to my bike I suddenly $h!t my pants. (No, fecal incontinence is not a normal thing for me.) I had no choice but to high tail it back home.

As I gingerly slid my butt onto my bike seat, I affirmed, “I resist nothing.”

When I arrived at the house via the back yard, an Xfinity truck was pulling up in front of our house. With as much decorum as I could garner, I showed “Benjamin” where the orange wire was and updated him on our issues. As I headed into the house to change my clothes I quickly snapped a photo of the truck and sent it in a text message to John who was having coffee with his morning friends.

He replied with two words: “No shit.”

I wrote back, “OMG! Wait ’till I tell you the rest of the story!”

July 11, 2025

Positivity

She received the following list of “Affirmations & Denials” from The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn in a text message from a friend.