Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: birthday ritual

  • Draw a Card

    Today is my birthday. I LOVE birthday ritual. This morning I wrote in my journal: Today is my birthday. And Wayne’s. It seems significant Claudia is feeling sad. She said Wayne always said, “It is what it is.”

    What ritual is honest for me today?

    I hear: “Draw a card.”

    I draw a card. Angelic Messenger Card #12 Forgiveness.

    Accepting responsibility for your life; releasing blame and the judgment of others. Immense beauty and opportunity live beneath your old emotional scars.

    This time in your life represents the final pass-through for many of these persisting lessons.

    You can truly know and appreciate only your own life’s journey and perspective.

    Pay attention to the thoughts you have as you fall asleep ad those that are on your mind as you wake up. These thoughts embody the situations and the people needing your forgiveness.

    “I forgive you, and I forgive me for being caught in the process of change and for our being unable to see each other clearly.”

    Angelic Messenger Cards: Divine Guidance for Personal Healing and Spiritual Discovery by Meredith L. Young-Sowers.

    “It is what it is.”

    I draw a card. #54 Epona’s Wild Daughter, from The Fairies’ Oracle (by Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth), in the reversed position.

    “The wise person prays for guidance and actively seeks it. The answers we truly need are to be found deeply within ourselves. What do our nightmares tell us?”

    The phone ringing woke me up this morning. I was dreaming I was at a training but had left the classroom and gotten distracted futzing in the kitchen. A little boy was now with me as I was hustling to get back to the classroom. Suddenly I realized the class had already ended. I had been thinking it did not end until 3:00, but it had ended at 2:00.

    I draw one more card. Page of Water: Understanding from the Osho Zen Tarot: The Transcendental Game Of Zen.

    “Move with the sweetness and gentleness of the present moment. Feel the fluttering within. Spread your wings and be free.”

    I wrote in my journal how much I love these messages from the cards. They all point to the truth that freedom is here now.

    The voice responded:

    Of course, freedom is here now. If something had blocked your freedom, that IS no longer. Each moment is new. Each breath is NOW.

    In your dream you thought the class went until 3 o’clock, but when you realized the class was over you were afraid you had been negligent, that you had missed something.

    You had missed the awareness of completion!

    The class had ended and you were still frantically trying to get there.

    Give yourself the greatest birthday present ever—the PRESENT.

    Allow yourself to bask in the luxury of this moment. No regrets. No planning mind.

    Tell all who know. They all know.

    Wow… that is the best PRESENT ever!

  • Corpse Prayer

    Each year I enjoy some ritual on my birthday. Yesterday afternoon I still did not know what that was to be. Riding to the birthday celebration of our 85 year old friend, I learned of a marvelous exercise called “Corpse Prayer.” It comes from Jarem Sawatsky’s book, Dancing with the Elephants: Mindfulness Training For Those Living With Dementia, Chronic Illness or an Aging Brain (How to Die Smiling Series, #1).

    The “Corpse Prayer” exercise resonates deeply with me because it is essentially my own Imagine Healing process where you anchor positive images along your future timeline to allow the worry brain to turn off. In my process, you build in the caveat although things won’t happen exactly as you imagine it, as you make an image that lets know things have gone so well, even better than you imagined it….

    As Sawatsky suggests, I imagine the last three minutes of my life.

    I am propped up in a big fluffy bed. The bedclothes are pristine white. Stacey is there with me. I have no pain or illness, just old-age. It is time to let go. I see Stacey as old too. That comes as a surprise. White hair. Wrinkled hands. I feel sadness for a moment that her life will not be much longer, then I let that go as I celebrate sacred life and sacred death. I love her so much. I am so blessed she has been with me since I was only a child. I breathe the familiar Corpse Prayer:

    Corpse Prayer

    Be not afraid.
    I give thanks to god who created all things good.
    In christ, all things hold together.
    I am not entitled to life without death.
    I embrace sacred life.
    I embrace sacred death.
    I embrace the growing and crumbling in between.
    Smile at yourself in the silence…
    Jarem Sawatsky

    Sawatsky says to next imagine the moment you will be buried. Since I plan to be cremated, I saw that happening and breathed the Corpse Prayer again. I am not entitled to life without death.

    Two years after death, you are to see your body decayed. I see the place my ashes had been spread. Barely any shards are left. A cat walks on the ground and I think, “I love kitties.” I breathe the Corpse Prayer again. I embrace the growing and crumbling in between.

    Now I am to imagine myself 80 years after my death. My granddaughter (Courtney’s) child is old. I breathe the Corpse Prayer to her. Be not afraid…

    I smile at myself in the silence. Happy birthday to me!