Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Banner

  • Today I Will Choose Joy

    Regrets are like eating rat poison expecting the rats to die. Rather than living with regrets, we can choose to savor every opportunity to love. This is how my yesterday felt (feels).

    When my niece was in 8th grade she went to live with her dad and step-mother. She will be 52 on her next birthday. I feel like one year ago she came back into my life and my world is so much richer because we are here now. Her mom passed in January.

    As we were planning her day here with us we decided to leave options open, and yesterday she drove over from Ann Arbor area to spend the day. We had a glorious day. Each moment was precious. There was ample time for both tears and laughter….

    (Note* If you receive this post via email and the photos are not included, please click on the title and read it on the website so you don’t miss anything.)

    Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I will share a set of photos that gives you a clear sense of our day. The first is a close up of a banner (had been a favorite of her mom) our niece gifted to my sister after her mom had passed. It now hangs over the massage table for clients to see above them. It says: Today I Will Choose Joy.

    The challenge became how to get a photo that showed clearly it was on the ceiling above the table, so the fun began in earnest. Here is my niece on the floor and my sister at the foot of the massage table each trying to get a shot….

    Then I had the idea for all three of us to get on the massage table and take a selfie which sounded plausible until we realized the banner was backwards!

    One last try resulted in total failure to get the banner but we captured a beautiful memory of the three of us.

    We drove by my niece’s childhood home, her elementary school, the fields where she played ball, and the former home of her her maternal grandma and grandpa. All of our sharing and shenanigans put us driving by the home of her paternal great grandma and great grandpa at the exact time a man was crossing the road to get his mail. “That’s a relative!” she burst out. Soon I was turning the van around and she spent precious time with the cousin who had grown up with being called a twin to her father.

    As we headed back to the house to meet the guys, we marveled at the holy timing of our being there to see him. We had made two calls asking about an impromptu visit with a couple of folks, but both had declined. It probably took him all of two minutes to come out and walk across the yard. The exact two minutes that we were creeping by….

    Earlier in the day as she had gotten close to our house a car almost side-swiped her on a road heavy with memories. She told us she had said out loud, “Nice try, Devil dog, not this time. You lose, I get to choose.”

    My niece shared with us how she would give her testimony as evidence that painful things (awful things) can (and did) happen to us but the holy love of Jesus carried us through and we can look back and see that we were carried. She said the day could not have turned out any better.

    And as the three of us posed for this photo on our porch, words from my sister’s text message this morning say it all: “Yesterday was one of the most wonderful days of my life.”

  • A Banner Week

    Many of you already have received an update on the excision of a melanoma on my low back last week. (See Photoshop Fun.) The excision went well. This was a mole that turned into melanoma, it had not come from anywhere else and had not spread. The doctor said if we were talking stages, they could call this a stage zero. I can’t see it, but when the bandages are changed the report is it looks good. It itches, so I know it is healing. Stitches come out on May 14. I will have a full-body scan that day and every three months for the next two years just to be sure this is the end of that.

    Last evening we received news from our daughter, Stacey, that Doug’s (our son-in-law’s) father is having foot amputation today with additional surgery to remove the leg just below the knee on Monday. This is due to uncontrolled diabetes. Love and prayers for Doug and his dad, Jim, and all the family. We all call Jim “Pops.”

    A friend lost her twelve year-old golden retriever, Chaco. His was a miraculous life as he was born with megaesophagus. According to Chaco’s owner, “Megaesophagus is a fatal disease where the esophagus does not have nerves to signal peristalsis; therefore food stays in the esophagus which stretches until it’s as useless as a worn out rubber band. He was also born on Valentines Day with a heart full of love and dogged determination. Chaco survived; endured; stabilized and then flourished with his condition.” Special diet, timely exercise, and hours of Tellington TTouch™ each day allowed them to have an amazing life together. Chaco will be missed but remembered and loved….

    The following paragraph is from my meditation teacher. Barbara is deaf and her husband of 50 years had a massive stroke in March. He is in a rehab facility and she is living alone for the first time since losing her hearing several decades ago. Eighteen months ago, Sulu, her then 14-year-old collie/ hearing-ear service dog died of old age. On Sunday, May 6, she will add a new member to her family. I think her post will inspire you to keep on keeping on whatever is going on:

    I was blessed to look on the internet at collie kennels in Michigan, and turned up Banner in western Michigan, a-just-2-year-old tricolor collie (like all our past dogs). His owner, who bred him, sells all the dogs she breeds, maybe 6 or 8 litters a year. She had kept him to become a stud dog in her small kennel because she felt he was so special; beautiful, intelligent, eager to please, sweet and loving. When I approached her about whether she had a mature dog, she said maybe; she took a week to consider since she had planned to keep him, then wrote to me that I could buy him.

    She said, “Your need is great. He will be a blessing to you.”

    The breeder went on to say it was a blessing to Banner too, not just to be a pet, but to live a life of such service and connection to Barbara and her husband. Barbara and her husband will celebrate their Golden Anniversary on Saturday, May 5.

    It seems life can be strewn with challenges almost daily. However, we are always at choice about our attitude.

    This week, like every other week, will have sunshine and rain.

    These moments, like no others, will be here and then gone.

    This life, like all lives, matters.

    We too can experience joy and blessing even in turbulent waters.

    Earlier in the week, I was playing solitaire while waiting for Lowe’s to deliver my new washer and dryer. I usually win, so was a bit surprised and annoyed that I lost three games in a row. I switched to a game where you try to get every card in the deck turned up before the fourth King. After “winning” that gave, I noticed the King of Hearts was still in the box!

    Any time you feel like you might be losing the game of life, make sure you are playing with a full deck. Remember every card matters….