Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Tag: Alzheimer’s

  • Pay Attention

    Elizabeth Lesser wrote a New York Times bestselling book, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow (Random House). That book has sold more than 300,000 copies and has been translated into 20 languages. Lesser says, “When you feel yourself breaking down, may you break open instead. May every experience in life be a door that opens your heart, expands your understanding, and leads you to freedom.”

    Her newest book, Cassandra Speaks: When Women are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes, reveals that humanity has outgrown its origin tales and hero myths, and empowers women to trust their instincts, find their voice, and tell new guiding stories.

    It is not only women who have outgrown the original tales and hero myths. Men, women, children, and societies are capable of skillful relating — seeing each relationship as the fertile soil in which we come to rest in our spiritual maturity.

    Resting in this “spiritual maturity” is our authentic self, and at our core it is always alive and well. Please take a moment to watch an amazing video of former prima ballerina, Marta C. González as she instinctively moves to the music, in spite of advanced Alzheimer’s disease.

    At core, we love to love one another. At core, we love to sing. At core, we love to dance with life. Gary Zukav has a printable version of his Spiritual Partnership Guidelines on his website. (Copyright © 2009 The Seat of the Soul Institute) Guidelines worthy of being tattooed on our foreheads:

    Focus on what I can learn about myself all the time, especially from my reactions (such as anger, fear, jealousy, resentment, and impatience), instead of judging or blaming others or myself.

    Pay attention to my emotions by feeling the physical sensations in my energy centers (such as my chest, solar plexus, and throat areas).

    Pay attention to my thoughts (such as judging, analyzing, comparing, daydreaming, planning my reply, etc., or thoughts of gratitude, appreciation, contentment, openness to Life, etc.).

    Pay attention to my intention such as blaming, judging, needing to be right, seeking admiration, escaping into thoughts (intellectualizing), trying to convince, etc., or cooperating, sharing, creating harmony, and revering Life.

    Indra’s Net symbolizes the universe as a web of connections and interdependencies among all its members, wherein every member is both a manifestation of the whole and inseparable from the whole. (Photo: Indra’s Net)


    During this chaotic time, pay attention to the quality of your relationships. Like the jewels in Indra’s net, our relationships are a web of connection. Each strand is both strong and vulnerable. In The More We Find in Each Other, Mavis Fossum and Merle Fossum remind us that when we feel the pain of separation from each other, we need to reach back and reopen communication.

  • Everything Holds it’s Opposite

    I grabbed this image from a Zen practitioner. Have you ever wondered what makes someone decide to make a commitment to something like Zen? For the most part, we want to be the best we can be.

    Today has been a productive day.

    I got so much done, I have energy to burn!

    What do you do with energy when you are revved up? Some people drink, some people smoke, some people eat, some people sleep. Some people exercise. I write!



    Yesterday morning I saw this amazing ice etching on the mail room windows. The blue sky was right there too. It was quite breathtaking.

    I am watching gorgeous pinks and blues spreading across the evening sky right now too.



    Beauty is everywhere, when you are watching.

    A friend’s husband has Alzheimer’s. He is in a facility. Last week he got punched in the stomach by another resident. She is recuperating from a knee replacement so she could not even go to see that he was OK. She was immediate in the feeling of how unfair this was; why him; he is such a great guy. Very quickly, though, she was also aware that she was holding onto something he had already forgotten. The very nature of the illness allows him to not hold onto anything painful.

    Abraham Hicks speaks very directly about Alzheimer’s. Only watch this if you are ready to let go of painful things that you have been holding onto.

    Whatever you are seeing, train yourself to see the opposite. Everything holds its opposite….

    Live solely from the center.

    Be still.

    Be.

  • Calamities

    Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.

    ~Saint Francis De Sales

    One of the daily thoughts I receive comes from Neale Donald Walsh.

    This one was was especially poignant:

    On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know
    that nothing is ever as bleak as it looks.
    Everything, in fact, is a blessing.

    I know, I know… that is sometimes very hard
    to believe. How can a sudden, calamitous event in one’s life
    be a blessing? It takes a longer view, I know,
    to see this wonderful truth. Even a diagnosis
    of a terminal illness could be seen as another gift
    from life when experienced from a particular perspective.

    It is an opportunity for us to express once again,
    at the next highest level, Who We Really Are.
    And, if it turns out that, at the Soul level, we have
    indeed decided to leave our present physicality
    in this particular way and time, that, too,
    would be an expression of our Highest Self.

    And so, all “calamities” are blessings,
    not yet understood by the Mind.

    God knew this was a good day
    for you to hear this…
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Perhaps every day is a good day to recall that “calamities” are blessings.

    Those who have been following “Sailing Lady Gail” likely know that this week has brought calamities in the “Adventures of Doug and Stacey.” Their first open-water sail was 30 hours of 8-foot-plus rolling waves. Stacey violently vomited for 20 hours so Doug had to stay at the helm without sleep. When they got into safe harbor they were both spent.

    I saw a powerful video on Facebook. While the video is 10 things you should never do to a person with Alzheimer’s, it outlines appropriate kindness to persons in all challenging circumstances.

    1. Never argue, instead agree.

    2. Never reason, instead divert.

    3. Never shame, instead distract.

    4. Never lecture, instead reassure.

    5. Never say “Remember,” instead reminisce.

    6. Never say “I told you,” instead repeat.

    7. Never say, “You can’t,” instead let them do what they can.

    8. Never command, instead ask.

    9. Never condescend, instead encourage.

    10. Never force, instead reinforce.

    The closing message is: Remember that your loved one with Alzheimer’s can understand kind touch, laughter, and smiles even if they’ve lost most of their verbal skills.

    As they await the arrival of some parts to repair an electrical issue on the boat, Doug and Stacey are being cared for well by her Uncle Jack Basham in Largo, Florida.


    They are receiving lots of kind touch, laughter and smiles!

    And after a few days on dry land, Stacey and Doug are now back to the dream drawing board. Details to follow….

  • Retreat Reminiscence – Thursday

    November, 2014, we were at Camp Geneva in Holland, Michigan. It was an amazingly gorgeous setting on the shores of Lake Michigan.

    One of my most tender memories was of sharing a room with Claudia and Wayne. Claudia and I have been roommates many years, but Wayne was with us this time because he was already dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease and not able to stay home alone.

    Claudia and I did not go on retreat last fall, but we are again roommates this week.

    Here is the link so you can read about Camp Geneva.

  • Honesty


    “I am always doing that which I cannot do,
    in order that I may learn how to do it.”
    ~ Pablo Picasso

    Some days—more than others—you are aware how connected we all are.

    My dear friends/colleagues and I are experiencing palpable loss and questioning around changes with regards to massage therapy services provided by our local hospice organization. We value these therapies. The massage therapist was the one person on her hospice care team who knew when my mother-in-law had begun her active transition in October of 2015. The nurse was caught off guard, but Marjie was not.

    As my heart finds relief through my fingers on the keyboard, a lot is happening.

    Carol is driving three hours to check on her son. He has experienced alcohol addiction, and has not been going to work or answering his phone.

    Claudia is doing her best to support herself and her husband, Wayne, as they deal with the day-to-day experiences of his Alzheimer’s.

    Another friend is navigating misunderstanding and fears around her psychosis-like symptoms, most likely related to a kundalini awakening.

    During my inner time this morning, holding all of this in my heart, I asked, “What is real about all of this, and what would Spirit have us know?”

    Faeries Oracle Card
    # 62 The Glanconer
    Illusion. Delusion. Lust. Projection. Clear sight.

    We may claim that something means little to us when, in fact it means a great deal. The situation needs to be handled with care. This is the time to call upon Honesty for aid!

    Faeries Oracle Card
    # 40 Honesty

    Reminds us not only to be clear in what we say and do, but also to act and speak with compassion and tact. Dishonesty, even in the name of tact, is not helpful.
    ~~~~
    How does this situation get redeemed? I can barely hold it in my heart, it is so painful. Knowing how valuable Marjie’s massage therapy was for John’s mom; seeing the loss, but knowing it is important to not activate the drama triangle.

    Thoughts of the Old Testament story about Joseph and the coat of many colors pops into mind. Joseph’s brothers, smitten with jealousy, sold him into slavery. Years later, desperate to buy grain, the brothers come face-to-face with Joseph. Joseph is now second in command to the Pharaoh, and in charge of the supplies. The brothers feared for their lives! But, Joseph was not vindictive. He was conscious of the bigger picture. The proof of Joseph’s world view is demonstrated by him telling his brothers, “You meant it for ill, but God meant it for good.”

    Zen Osho Tarot
    Knight of Water
    Trust

    When we take trust to the level of the quantum leap, we don’t make any elaborate plans or preparations… No, we just jump, with hardly a thought of what happens next.

    Trust life. With trust, something immense opens up.

    You are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you… You cannot lose your real treasure.
    ~~~~
    I have wondered before if this is about offering massage therapy house calls for critically/chronically ill as private pay. This might just be a step away from dependency on insurance. For sure, the insurance industry has been problematic for our society. It has not been financially good for doctors. It has not been mentally good for patients who have lost touch with self-responsibility as an employer paid premiums and an insurance company paid charges. Might this current chaos have a good long-term outcome, as with Joseph all those years ago?

    What would spirit have us know about all of that?

    Angelic Messenger Cards
    # 39 Cooperation
    A Nourishment Card

    Cooperation between your feelings and your body create physical health and feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Cooperation among your feelings, your body, and your spirit give you the ability to experience the grace of God as love and to interpret the energy of love as the guidance you seek. The spiritual energy of love is arising from the divine Presence and raises you to the status of inspired mortal and wise healer of other living things.
    ~~~~
    I don’t know how everything is going to unfold in all of these situations. We do know we can choose how we view LIFE. For example, Abraham Hicks’ take on Alzheimer’s. Listening to that may bless you, too.

    In the meantime, remember the truth: We truly are, as Ram Dass says, all just walking each other home.


    snip-elephant-ram dass