Author: Debra Basham

  • Be Care-Full What You Pray For

    Twenty nine years ago today, I became a grandmother. I was still thirty-something—at least I would be for two more weeks. My career was booming. I was top sales person in the nation. I was traveling to beautiful venues. I had long finger nails, and I wore nice clothing. I was too busy (and too young) to be a grand parent.

    Although I did not yet know it, everything changed the moment I held Bradley Joseph Zelenak in my arms.

    He was a little bit early, had jaundice, and his mom, Stacey, went home from the hospital without him. A few weeks later, he would go to the hospital by ambulance. I would watch his mother crawl into the big “crib” under the oxygen tent to be with him. I would walk down the hospital corridor with a lump in my throat and tears tricking down my cheek.

    As with other dynamics of life, it is impossible to say what would have been if things had been different. Would I have still treasured every moment or might I have let the years slip by without awareness of the preciousness that is always present?

    Say only, something clicked. Priorities were suddenly laid straight.

    No sale was more important than watching him breath. We were blessed to have them live with us for about a month before my baby would leave Michigan, taking her baby to live in Tennessee.

    I never felt a house so empty as the day we walked back into the house after watching their car back out of the driveway heading south.

    From that moment forth, everything revolved around keeping our connection. Our vacation time was spent there. Holiday plans were around them. Even now, as snow birds flying from Michigan to Florida and back we think of it as going to see the kids.

    I cannot say how differently I would view the world without the lens of being a grandmother to Bradley, but I can say this: Bradley changed my world. I am Gammie.

    I say he opened my heart chakra. As fingers fly over the keys, a lump tightens my throat. Again tears form as, in my minds eye, almost three decades of precious memories dance. Things he said, places we went, experiences we shared.

    Today, I breathe the fragrance of grace that allows me to have had this miracle in my life.

    I am blessed with two other grandchildren, and each is loved beyond words. Bradley is like any first true love. He is the one who taught me to be care-full what you pray for.

    Working in retail management, breaking fingernails and tearing holes in my stockings was an everyday occurrence. Yes, I wore pantyhose and heels to work 9-to-5! I read somewhere that you should write down a prayer, put it in a box, and forget about it. Years before I had written: “I want to wear nice clothes and have long finger nails.”

    The day I opened the box and looked down at my hands, I was shocked. Not even remembering what I had written, I was living what I had prayed for.

    Today, perhaps more mindfulness would go into everything I put in my prayer box to let God work the magic. Perhaps…

  • Simon and Garfunkel

    Sacred Stories

    She was shopping for some special gifts.

    The shop was quiet when she entered, but soon Simon and Garfunkel began to play.

    She had to breathe deeply and hold it together.

    She’d just left a session doing profound healing work around her mother’s death.

    Simon and Garfunkel was her mother’s favorite group. She knew this was a message of confirmation and love….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Happy New You!

    Most people will be wishing you a happy new year today, but I am wishing all beings a happy new YOU.

    Attributing the saying that “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be” did not happen until 50 years after Abraham Lincoln’s death. Dr. Frank Crane included the saying, and the attribution, in a column about New Year’s resolutions in the Syracuse Herald. No evidence exists that Lincoln said it, but it is probably pretty true, whomever said it first.

    The most significant learnings of 2018 hover around mindfulness, nondual awareness, and intention. In September of 2018 I joined a two-year study intensive with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr: morning meditation, daily journal entry, and living from highest purpose.

    Previous posts have mentioned Rob Swartz, Rupert Spira, and Janet Conner. Perhaps you have already taken time with them, but I will include links again just in case today is the perfect day for letting their expanded awareness awaken our own.

    Rob Swartz “Buddha at the Gas Pump” interview.

    Rupert Spria “Buddha at the Gas Pump” interview.

    Janet Conner “Find Your Soul’s Purpose & Live a Life You Love!”Interview.

    This morning’s thought from the Brahma Kumaris says it well:

    The best solutions to problems will not be the result of hard thinking. Use your time better by creating peaceful thoughts, and problems will cease to affect you. Do not try to solve everything on your own. Leave some space for God to come and help you.

    Whatever your thoughts about “God” might be, whether you have a religious or spiritual practice, or perhaps just your sense of something greater than yourself, make 2019 the year you rely less on your own effort and leave some space for God to help you.

    For example, if you misplace your keys, rather than frantically searching, simply ask within. Affirm, “What is mine comes to me.” See what happens.

    When you are not feeling well—an ache or pain—something major or minor—rather than name the symptom or the diagnosis, or go into story about it, simply note “sensation…” Try it! This is a new year, and a new you.

    Notice old habit energy. A dear friend of mine has recently begun boating regularly after many years without a boat. I notice the habit energy to feel left out and jealous. Looking more closely, it is clear those are not my authentic experiences of her good fortune. I am truly thrilled for her. I am enthusiastic about her being able to renew a passion for boating. Her joy is my joy.

    2018 was also the year when the tree in our yard came down. The most significant question around that was when Barbara Brodsky asked, “Who dies? What dies? Does the tree still live in your heart?” (See: Does the Tree Still Live in Your Heart?”

    What year ends? What year begins? Who is the old you? Who is the new you? Does the real you still live in your heart?

  • “Dad”

    Sacred Stories

    Her dad had lived with her for about 5 months before he passed.

    The bedroom set in the guestroom where he stayed, had belonged to his sister.

    After he passed, she put a few of his belongings in the bottom drawer, but the handles have since broken off and she cannot get the drawer open.

    Perhaps that is the reason that room smells like her dad….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • Say Only

    In September of 2018, I made a two-year commitment to a study called “The Dharma Path,” with Barbara Brodsky and Aaron. I have once again been amazed at how your intention creates your experience. In Buddhism, dharma means “cosmic law and order,” and is also applied to the teachings of the Buddha. In Buddhist philosophy, dhamma/dharma is also the term for “phenomena.”

    About ten days ago, one of the board members of Deep Spring (the organization Barbara Brodsky founded) asked for my help with marketing and communication. While we were talking, a woman kept coming to mind. I made contact with this woman asking if she might be willing to help. Her reply was, “God no! I hate that stuff. I don’t even do my own. I pay tens of thousands so I don’t have to.” I thanked her for knowing what was true for her, and asked if she might know of anyone who would work with us pro bono.

    Several days later, just as I was mentioning some of this to my husband, I received a text from this woman, saying she had made contact with a marketing person who was willing!

    Wow. Can you feel the timing?

    A few days later, I had a consult with the marketing person. We had a good connection, one made even more precious for me because the woman’s voice took me to my heart. Her voice sounded exactly like the voice of a woman I was blessed to work with years ago. The story of that woman is in my book of stories: Falling Together in Love.

    I asked if she knew Barbara’s story; did she know Barbara is deaf. No, she did not. I shared how Barbara had lost her hearing (and her equilibrium!) at the birth of her first child. The loving non-physical being, Aaron, who teaches through Barbara, came forth in spirit to help her find peace from the suffering. I mentioned how people sign the first letter of each word to help Barbara read lips.

    Chills ran up and down my spine when the woman told me she had attended an ASL elementary school. American sign language! The marketing woman knows and can sign the entire alphabet…

    What are the odds? Right.

    We agreed to another call and were excited to proceed with discovering how she could help the Deep Springs board meet growth goals.

    I spoke with my friend who had made the connection, told her about the sign language connection and that the reason she was able to say yes to working pro bono was because she is creating an agency, and has an intern starting after the first of the year. It would be a great opportunity for her to develop skill working with a board, and possible because of the intern.

    My friend who connected me to the marketing person is looking for a new marketing agency….

    This morning I opened an email message from the marketing person. She found out that the intern can only work with local businesses, so she is unable to help us.

    Can you feel the waves of up and down? This is how life rolls. The entire point of the two-year study is stabilizing the heavy emotions so we are not tossed around by our grasping at things we want and our pushing against the unwanted.

    We do not know what is best, but we can trust.

    While the rest of the story unfolds, you can choose to stay present with your breath, remembering that it is the nature of life for conditions to change. Recently I have used the metaphor of a kaleidoscope—you cannot move just one single piece of glass. Everything is connected to everything, and god is good.

    Years ago I read a story about an old man with a white horse. It has come to be “Say Only” in my mind, and many of you have heard it over the years. Several online versions exist, but since I read it first in Max Lucado’s book, In the Eye of the Storm, below is that version.

    Max Lucado (In the Eye of the Storm)
    The Old Man and the White Horse

    Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.

    People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.

    One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been to high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”

    The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”

    The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”

    The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”

    The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

    After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”

    The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

    “Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”

    “Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

    The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.

    “You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”

    The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”

    It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.

    “You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”

    The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

  • Donna!

    Sacred Stories

    Her mother had died tragically the weekend of her wedding. She was doing everything possible to make peace around all of that.

    Wanting to pick out some hand-crafted jewelry for a couple of her friends, she stopped in a gallery in the small town she was visiting.

    She was drawn to a powerful piece.

    Although the gallery is a co-op and all of the artists take turns to cover the retail hours, Donna, the artist who made this piece, was the one working that day.

    Her mother’s name is Donna….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • His Song

    Sacred Stories

    Her teen-aged son had passed, a tragic loss of such a young life.

    She had programmed her phone alarm to play what they had come to think of as “his song.”

    It was her day off.

    She woke up. His song was playing.

    In her sleepy fog, she fumbled to turn it off before remembering this was not a work day.

    She had not set her alarm.

    Her phone was not even on….

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.

  • The Giving Hat

    P.S. When Jane Foster received the hat (see previous post) she sent this photo, and a message saying she thought the hat needed to be named.

    She decided to name it the “Giving Hat” because her husband gifted her the hat, it is giving her so much pleasure, and the proceeds that will go to cancer research is giving others a chance at a longer and better quality of life.

    Here she is in the “Giving Hat.”

  • Do You Know Who Your Master Is?

    Our daughter was sharing a precious “aha moment” she had recently. She works in an industry which has it’s peak adjacent to retail sales— during the months of November and December. As many who are responsible for hiring entry level workers, she has struggled to get reliable help. That has been a HUGE frustration to her, robbing her of the joy of the rest of her job. She experienced an emotional overload, had a crying time, and then an insight. Related to her responsibilities, she became aware of feeling pulled between her plant manager who was screaming for help, a co-owner who wanted to keep payroll down, and the publishers who wanted timely deliveries…. just to name a few.

    Awareness is key. Her awareness included a sentence spoken within herself that became her ticket to freedom a few days later, “I don’t know who my master is.”

    Deep Spring Center Thought for Today

    ‘You’re on a boat,’ he said. ‘The boat is riding too low on the water and there are waves. You’ve got to toss one person out. In the boat are a loved one, a person about whom you feel neutral, a person who is a difficult person, and yourself. You’re the one to decide: which one are you going to cast into the water?’

    She thought about it awhile and said, ‘There are no grounds for decision.’

    He just smiled and bowed and indicated that the interview was over.

    ‘Did I get it right?’ she wondered.

    But of course, when you get to that place where you understand your interrelationship with all beings, there are no grounds for decision. You cannot cast yourself into the shark-infested sea to save others nor can you throw others in to save yourself.

    ~ Aaron

    There are no grounds for decision.

    Like the people on the boat, every one of those needs my daughter was feeling torn between had value, but not ONE of them was more or less important than the others.

    A few days after her breakdown, she had a breakthrough. This is the insight that set her free:

    “I do know who my master is. I serve God. The plant manager is not my master. The co-owner is not my master. The publisher is not my master. My master wants me to experience peace, and joy, and to do what I can do to serve/help.”

    An aside: if you do not automatically receive the Beyond Mastery Newsletter, or if you currently receive only one email message with links to the newsletter included (rather than the email message with the links plus the individual post/s), then you will want to sign up now to receive all posts automatically. The January edition will come out at the end of this month, and it may just rock your boat. Here is the link: Sign Up Now for Beyond Mastery.

    The outer circumstances at work have not changed. She did not magically have adequate, dedicated, reliable hires. She was able to have a heart-to-heart with her plant manager, and with the company president about having recognized her real master. Theirs is a Christian organization. The name they use is God. The miracle in her life happened because she listened to God, she heard that voice within. When we listen, we have to take action. The action she took was to let herself be transformed from within.

    Included in my January article will be an invitation for others to join an online group based on the book Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within, by Janet Conner.

    You will know if you are ready.

  • “Ping!”

    Sacred Stories

    Her father’s passing had been very difficult. She and her sister were holding together his business. Many times she felt herself asking him for guidance.

    She noticed her dad’s special African drum would often make one “ping” as answer or confirmation to her thoughts or wondering. She knew he was answering her!

    (In spiritualism, rapping is a recognized form of communication between living persons and the spirits of deceased persons.)

    These are sacred stories. Pay attention to happenings in your life. Do you have a story to share? Send email to debra@scs-matters.com.