Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • 6 Daily Quarantine Questions

    Life is totally interrupted by this COVID-19 mandated safe sheltering/social distancing/self-quarantine. I chose to “attend” a two-day meditation retreat with about 80 others virtually. This virtual Deep Spring Meditation Center retreat with Barbara Brodsky, Aaron, and John Orr is a first…. but, just about everything in the current conditions is UNPRECEDENTED.

    During the Q&A portion, another retreatant shared six daily quarantine questions, suggested by James Baraz, founding teacher of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, co-author with Shoshana Alexander of “Awakening Joy: Ten Steps to Happiness.” Baraz teaches a five-month, internationally-recognized “Awakening Joy” course. Here are roughly those six daily question:

    1. What am I grateful for?
    2. With whom am I checking in/and connecting today?
    3. What expectations of “normal” am I letting go of today?
    4. How am I getting outside today?
    5. How am I using my body today?
    6. What beauty am I creating/inviting/cultivating today?

    Yesterday afternoon we had a period of optional walking meditation or rest. I drove to a nearby nature trail.



    When I approached the bridge, a lone juvenile white ibis was on the rail. I stood still, just watching. I usually see them in quite large gatherings, so plentiful here people call them Pine Island chickens. As I was the intruder, I was willing to wait—even if I had to wait for my entire walking period.

    Eventually the ibis dropped down to a small creek and I stepped softly onto the bridge. Moving slowly, stopping at the very place the ibis had been sitting on the rail, I stood silently watching below. The bird began to feed.



    The ibis is a general term for long legged bird. Ibis “totem” meaning: If this bird is given to one as an animal totem then it denotes a graceful and well-balanced individual. Their beauty is feminine in quality.

    I tiptoed onto the trail. We had recently been given an exercise: choose an area in your house and walk backwards. Notice the tension. Catch the sensations and thoughts when things are not “normal” and feel out of control.

    I decided to walk backwards on the trail. I had to be VERY mindful because the clearing of the trail left lots of cross-cut roots.



    I covered quite a bit of distance before it was time to head back for the 4:30 session. I continued walking backwards to my car. At first I noticed more tension going that direction. I obviously preferred moving forward, even when I was walking backwards. Noting the tension, I chose to enjoy seeing where I had been, while trusting I was going where I wanted to go.

    Back at the bridge, I saw this bright yellow painted rock with the words “Do more with less.” The lone juvenile ibis was still contentedly feeding down below.



    Our evening dharma talk ended with Aaron asking us a powerful question. “What is the world YOU wish to see in five, or ten, or 20 years?”

    He continued, “Do you want to create a world in which all beings live in peace? YOU are the expression of the divine. YOU have immense power to create…. Join together hand-to-hand and create that which you wish to create. Watch the arising of fear, anger, greed. Remember how to relate to these. Relate with an open heart. May all beings come to the end of suffering….”

  • Roller Coaster of Emotions

    “Whatever happens to me is not nearly so important as the way I look at the happening — the way I feel about it.”

    Columbus, Ohio, August 1982, “Little Surrenders,”, Step By Step

    My former Yellow Brick Road post ended on a high note, but the circumstances around COVID-19 are stimulating a roller coaster of emotions for most of us.

    The evening after I baked and delivered cookies, John and I saw Louie, one of the guys from shuffleboard. Louie said, “You think about it like ‘I have the virus’ and you’ll do the right thing.”

    Having seen the stability chart of this virus, I was awake in the middle of the night, writing in my journal, “If I knew I had the virus would I have baked the cookies and delivered them to people I love?”

    Later that morning, I shared my concern and remorse with Nancy, a recipient of oatmeal raisin cookies, who brought me to tears with her response, “If I were to die from an infected cookie, I would die with gratitude for the savoring of it.”

    If I were ever to get a tatoo, mine would be: UNPRECIDENTED.

    Every action has myriad thought, word, and deed.

    The better consciousness in me lifts me into a world where there is no longer personality and causality or subject or object.

    ~ Arthur Schopenhauer (1788—1860), known as the first German philosopher to incorporate Eastern thought into his writings

    I notice how many individual lives seem to have been lined up with our collective (global) experience. My belief is that has been/is true for EVERY individual life, but some examples are totally obvious.

    One friend moved to another state for family support as they hoped to have a baby. They gave birth to Athena in February, and are now safe sheltering alone. Amazingly, this couple mindfully allowed their daughter to choose her own name. Athena means: One who is wise. Athena is the goddess of war and wisdom. The name is associated with the “lucky number” of four. 2020 equals four in simple numerology….

    Late last fall, one couple got their finances in order by closing out high-interest credit cards and consolidating to a family run bank with reasonable interest, and no risk of foreclosure.

    The husband of a dear friend passed in late January. He had been receiving hospice care at home, and it would have been so much more stressful for her to still be trying to care for him. Thankfully, she had some time to adjust to living alone before the order to stay in place came down.

    Our daughter, Stacey, and her husband, Doug, would have had a very drastic life-style change if they had not been living on their sailboat since October. We saw them on Facetime briefly yesterday and they are content, and appreciating the sun shade Doug just put up over their deck.



    My anxiety level is increased because (as of the moment of this writing) we do not yet know if our house is Michigan is ready for us to return, or if the team that has been doing the mold remediation will be allowed to finish. This fear around “home” is a childhood pattern for me and I am doing my best to comfort the frightened feelings and remind myself I am safe. We will get through this.

    It takes a lot to navigate these situations, but we do know they are impermanent.

    From this morning’s journal: You have so little to do now. I would want you to be easy with yourselves, and truly be easily delighted, Soften up…. Be sure you are calling on the light in your heart. That is truly your HOME.

    And these words from Aaron, “Each of you, as you find compassion for your own fear and negativity, will intuitively understand how to bring that compassion out in the world so as to say no to those who hoard, those who manipulate, those who turn their backs on others’ suffering. You say no with love. Acting from fear has nothing to do with how much wealth or power you have, it has to do with the level of consciousness.”

    P.S. Here is the face of Barbara Brodsky, my beloved teacher and friend, from last night’s ZOOM class. She is such a role model!

  • We “Need” Nothing

    Sacred Stories

    Safe sheltering due to COVID-19, a text message came from a friend who would be going to the grocery store.

    “Do you need anything?” was the offer.

    “We NEED nothing,” was the honest response.”We would welcome a dozen eggs if those are available. We would welcome a pound of butter – unsalted preferred. We would welcome sliced cheese. Munster, Colby Jack, cheddar. It would be helpful to have four to six yogurts (nonfat Greek, any flavor), too.”

    EVERYTHING on the list was available….

  • Essential Pruning

    Sacred Stories

    Posted by a Florida snowbird:

    We only rent here in Florida, but we vowed eight years ago to treat it as if it is our own.

    But—when it comes to the plants—I never felt like it was my job to prune someone else’s flowers. (Our owners living right next door might have something to do with it.)

    This year, our owners came in late. I couldn’t stand the haphazard, scraggly growth I saw, so I really pruned before the owners arrived.

    Three months later, the flowers are larger, more beautiful, than I have seen before.


    I feel like this season that we are in (and I am convinced that it is just a season) is pruning away the unproductive, useless, less-than-beautiful areas of our lives, that we might blossom into caring, giving, loving people like never before…

    I want to be that people!!!

  • 1,000 Pounds of Food

    Sacred Stories

    The headline read: Restaurant Gives Employees 1,000 Pounds of Food!

    The owner saw the writing on the wall.

    His family in Italy warned him. They said it would get worse, much worse, and it has. They told him to stay safe, to limit his contact with people, to keep his employees safe, too.

    “We are closed since Tuesday,” the owner said.

    “I knew this would be coming. I’m shocked it didn’t happen sooner.”

    Before he closed the doors, he ordered as much food as he could from his suppliers: 400 pounds of chicken breasts, 300 pounds of rice, 300 pounds of black beans, plus fruits, vegetables and pantry staples. Before laying off the entirety of his 70-person staff, he told them to take as much as they could.

    “I hope they can come back when this all passes,” he said.

    “It’s too risky for everybody. This is the best thing to do for everybody, no matter how much it hurts.”

  • Cookies

    I have been safe sheltering for one week because of the global outbreak of COVID-19.

    Today I baked cookies.

    I used all of the flour, all of the brown sugar, 4 of the eggs, and almost the last of the butter.




    While my action might seem mundane to some, to me it was holy.

    Canadian friends, Davey and Eli, are heading home tomorrow. Davey loves my chocolate chip cookies. I wrote: “Health Food for Your Safe Travels” on the lid.

    After Fred repaired my built in microwave a few years ago, I gave him oatmeal raisin cookies and a card: A dozen cookies and a million thanks. He quipped, “I would rather have a dozen thanks and a million cookies!” Since that time, I always bake and pack the baker’s dozen for him. It is a sacrament.

    Nancy Green was offered either or both. She chose oatmeal raisin. I learned today they are her preference. This is a time for learning….

    Along with Nancy’s cookies, I delivered an N-95 mask for a friend-of-a-friend. (See Sacred Story: N-95.)

    Yesterday, I used the last half-cup of heavy whipping cream. Our friends/neighbors generously take us out on their pontoon boat, so she received the last two vegan bran muffins with her favorite devonshire cream.

    I wish I could get the oatmeal raisin cookies and vegan bran muffins to Joel Bowman in Michigan. Those are his two favorites.

    I wish I could get chocolate chip cookies to the folks across the street who are back in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I had planned to take some to them when we were in Chattanooga to attend the college graduation of our granddaughter, Courtney Nicole Ross. No graduation ceremony at UT this year of COVID-19.

    I told Courtney we will have Larry Britton use Photoshop to create a blast of an event for her. Their motto is “If you can dream it, you can make it.”

    Her grandpa and I paid the $100 for her gown. She is the first woman to graduate college in my family line. My grandma did not, my mom did not, I did not, and Courtney’s mom did not. Congratulations, Courtney. We are so proud of you.

    I would make pasta salad with nothing but dressing for you. And Kraft Mac and Cheese.

    Preparing and sharing food is as ancient as human civilization.

    I think of events I have been in the kitchen for.

    I have worn out many an apron….

    Earlier today a friend sent this powerful prose about how our staying at home is healing the earth.

    “And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened and rested, and exercised, and made art and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses and made new choices, and dreamed new images and created new ways to live and heal earth fully, as they had been healed.”

    ~ Kitty O’Meara

    Today I am no less aware of the unfathomable losses and unprecedented uncertainty related to the COVID-19 pandemic, but I am more aware how the majority of the people on earth slowing down for this time is having an immediate and potentially everlasting benefit to the planet itself.

    Many are being kinder.

    Many are realizing how fortunate most of us are.

    Many are learning the distinction between needs and wants.

    I am grateful to be part of all of this. My pantry may be running low on some things but my heart is filled to overflowing with gratitude and love….

  • N-95

    Sacred Stories

    A text came from a Michigan friend, also wintering in Florida. Everyone is navigating the COVID-19 pandemic.

    “BTW – Any connections locally for finding a mask for an ailing friend-of-a-friend who needs to fly home next week?”

    She asked her husband if he had seen a mask in the shed of the homeowner. He had not. Nor had she.

    “Let me ask,” she responded before quickly sending an email to one of the moderators of a Facebook page for the local community during the pandemic. Then she went out to the shed.

    There, on a hook behind a saw blade, was one single perfectly clean, unused, mask. Looking closely, this mask was the suggested rating: N-95.


    She sent a text message to the home owner, explaining the need of the mask and asking permission to pass it along. The home owner graciously said the person could have it!

    She quickly took a photo of the mask, sent it via text message to her friend who had made the request, sharing where the mask had been located so quickly.

    “Verrrry interesting,” her friend replied.

    “A SACRED STORY for sure! Please let your friend know,” she added.

    “Are you offering it?” came the inquiry.

    “OF COURSE. THIS mask is for your friend’s friend.”

  • Flowers 50% Off

    Sacred Stories

    This “Sacred Story” is shared with permission from Facebook:

    Yesterday upon entering the grocery store, I was left speechless as my eyes took in the barren shelves of produce. Not one tomato, not one onion, not one…a lot of things! Granted, my first choice was to retreat to a place of ‘panic’, something we have all recently been faced with choosing or not.

    I was amazed as out of the corner of my eye I saw a huge display of beautiful flowers with a huge sign that read; “FLOWERS 50% OFF!”

    I ran to the display and chose the flowers you see here.


    As I have traditionally given my husband at least one bouquet of flowers each week since we met over 5 years ago…my decision to buy was automatic and quite healing to say the least.

    The moment I presented my husband with these flowers and he flew into my arms and simply hugged my fears away…I knew! I knew that my lesson/message from whatever is controlling this universe was this; “What we choose to see, is what we choose to live with!”

    Keep seeking love in all things during these troubling times…if you seek love, you will find love.

    Remain safe all, and remain within LOVE!

  • Birthday Photos

    Sacred Stories

    The daughter of her mom’s friend sent some old photos. In one of the photos were her mom, her dad, and her sister, along with the woman who sent the photos and that woman’s brother.



    The second photo was a more recent photo of her mom’s friend, who had transitioned April 1 just last year.

    She immediately recognized the timing as a direct message from their parents in spirit.

    The daughter of her mom’s friend had no idea the day of the sending and receiving of the photos was her dad’s birthday….

  • The Carriage House

    Sacred Stories

    She had collected match books for aeons. Some of them she does not remember where they came from, and most of them she actually cares nothing about at all any more. She will use them to light a candle every once in a while. She keeps some of them in a fish bowl in the dining room of their home.



    This morning a book of matches from The Carriage House was right on top of the bowl. The Carriage House is a fine dining establishment in South Bend, Indiana.


    She was flooded with memories. She and her husband had a memorable dinner-date at The Carriage House very early in their relationship.

    She took the book of matches out of the bowl and added them to a special “box of memories” which also holds love letters from her husband, who passed away just two months ago….