Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • You Will Come to the Right Decision

    Sacred Stories

    Her husband was having complicated medical issues. The uncertainty with his medications had triggered her habit pattern of distrust and insecurity. Sharing opening about all of this with her daughter and sister, she was brought to tears several times.

    She recognized fully that the conditions were ideal for her to recover (along with her husband) and for them both to reside in that deep core of peace.

    Moments after their sharing, when she checked her email she saw a message from her website. The email associated with the message is advertising a product. Although the message was clearly spam, the words went right to her heart:

    I think you will come to the correct decision. Do not despair.

    “Bidden or unbidden, God is present.” ~ Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus

    From the original Latin phrase: Vocatus atque non vocatus, deus aderit

    The eminent psychologist Carl Jung had this carved, in Latin, over the front door of his house in Zurich, to remind those entering that: Awe of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom (Psalms 111.10). The words are said to originate from the reply given by the Delphic Oracle to the Spartans when they were planning a war against Athens: Yes, the Gods will be present, but in what form and to what purpose? Jung came across this as a student reading the works of Erasmus, the Renaissance scholar and humanist. It is also carved on Jung’s tombstone. (from Wild Goose Studio)

  • May 7, 1992

    Sacred Stories

    She was with her husband and a friend when it popped into awareness that this might be the anniversary of her dad’s transition. She went to look up his obituary.

    At the exact moment she was telling them that May 7 is the date, a text message from her sister popped in: “Do you remember 30 years ago today?”

    The two of them had been on the scene as the medic’s tried to resuscitate their dad on May 7, 1992…. 30 years to the day.

    “Soul to heaven, body to earth.” ~ The Egyptian Book of the Dead

  • This Day’s Dawn

    Those who are awake live in a constant state of amazement. ~ Jack Kornfield

    This day’s dawn comes on the heels of a dark night. Actually, every day’s dawn does.

    Last evening we took John to my primary. She agreed with the medicine list. She encouraged patience and confidence in the specialists he will be working with, along with his primary. I was almost in a heap when we left. I was in search of relief.

    Aaron’s thought for today from Deep Spring Center for Meditation expresses it this way: Each of you is walking right now through dark valleys, unable to see what the future will hold. But your heart controls that future. Hold that dream of love, of an earth in which all beings cherish every other sentient being and the earth itself, knowing we are one and we love. We love, and we are love.

    Awareness sees so many gifts in all of this, not the least of which is how John is navigating the perfect catalyst for my overcoming habit energy of fear around medical stuff. It is not easy, but it is rich with opportunity.

    The Empty Circle Zen Group’s Mindful Moment for today refers to the raw truth — Everyone we cherish will, someday, get sick and die. If we don’t practice the meditation on emptiness, when those things happen, we will be overwhelmed. Concentration on emptiness is a way of staying in touch with life as it is, but it has to be practiced and not just talked about as connectedness.

    For example, while Stacey and I were working on the jigsaw puzzle a couple of days ago, waves of emotion would wash over me. I would swallow the threatening tears and observe the thought. After several close encounters, clear seeing allowed me to notice the delusion. Once stable with it, I was able to speak to Stacey, starting with the caveat I did not even believe it. I said, “You have always been closer to your dad more than to me. If one of us had to get sick and die, I wish it could have been me so you would still have your dad.”

    As Stacey’s initial loving heart instantly began assuring me that isn’t true, I interjected immediately, “I am sharing this with you because I absolutely agree it is not true.”

    Waking reality does not exist in as concrete a manner as people might think.

    Following my foray into the darkness last evening, on this day’s dawn Stacey sent me some wonderful words of wisdom:

    If you don’t feel your best today, allow yourself that space. This is hard. You don’t have to process this all at once.

  • Black and White Blanket

    Sacred Stories

    She had gifted him a black and white blanket — very soft, lamb’s wool on one side, he would “meditate” in his recliner covered up with it. Invariably a kitty would join him!

    Due to health concerns, he had moved out of state, and the kitties were going to a new home as well. She was scheduled to help the mutual friend who was handling the kitties’ mobile vet appointment. Out of compassion, the friend asked her if she wanted anything from the house to remember them by.

    Not sharing any of the details of the black and white blanket, she said simply, “There is a black and white blanket on the recliner in the lower level. That would be wonderful.”

    When her own life got complicated, and she knew she would be unable to help with the mobile vet visit and the kitties’ relocation, she reluctantly told their mutual friend it was OK, she did not need the blanket to remember them by.

    The morning of the vet visit and their move, a text came saying everything had gone so well and the kitties were now with their new family. The second text message said simply, “A funny thing happened as I was leaving the house. A black and white blanket jumped into my truck.”

    Two photos accompanied a text response, expressing her gratitude.

    A picture is     worth a thousand words. Now the friend totally understood.

  • Don Anderson

    Sacred Stories

    She was planning a trip to Greece with two friends, but both of them had family situations develop making them back out. They decided on a cruise instead, but a cruise was not her thing, so she chose to go to Greece alone.

    A friend suggested she introduce herself to the owners of Theo and Stacy’s, a local Greek restaurant. She agreed it would be good for her to have some sense of what to expect and how to navigate, so she arranged to meet the owners VERY early one morning.

    Only one other patron was in the restaurant at that time. She overheard him saying he was going to the Sault.

    She grew up in Sault Saint Marie!

    “Excuse me,” she said as the man was preparing to leave, “I could not help but overhear your mention of the Sioux. I grew up there.”

    They chatted a bit before he asked about her family name. Her father had passed when she was only four, and her mother had remarried. When she told him her father’s name he blurted out, “Don Anderson was my best friend!”

    So many threads came together for them to be in this same place at the exact same time. He was as delighted to share stories about her father as she was to hear them. The synchronicity absolutely shaped her view of the world.

    And she had a marvelous time in Greece….

  • Already a Butterfly

    In The Wisdom of No Escape: And the Path of Loving-kindness, Pema Chödrön qutoes Joseph Campbell, writing, “It has been said, quite accurately that the psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight.” One might wonder what it is that the mystic sees/hears/knows/experiences which leads to the more pleasant conclusion.

    Last evening I was Zoom host for The Eden Project when Barbara Brodsky logged on saying Aaron was requesting the use of breakout rooms. I have hosted a lot of Zoom classes for/with Barbara and Aaron, but I have no experience setting up the breakout rooms. I reached out via text to my virtual buddy and I asked out loud of another friend whom Barbara said has a lot of experience with Zoom — neither of them had any experience with the breakout rooms.

    The intention to use the breakout rooms remained steady in our hearts and minds. I selected the “allow participants to choose” option. Not successful yet. One of the participants sent a link to a tutorial video, but knew I could not switch to that easily enough to learn while hosting the group. Another participant with some experience was willing to help, so I quickly made him co-host and together (with lots and lots of cooperation and co-creation) the breakout rooms were enjoyed!

    I was unable to join the small group because I was the Zoom host. I did not want to leave Barbara without support.  Awareness came instantly that spirit had given me the experience prior to the group meeting when I accidentally dropped my Osho Zen Tarot deck, and three cards spilled out.

    The first card is 20 Beyond Illusion:
    don’t look outside for what’s inside

    The second card is 5 of Clouds Comparison:
    all is needed and everything fits together

    The third card is Ace of Water Going with the Flow:
    everything is happening exactly as it should

    Just as the spilled card spread began with the butterfly, so did Aaron’s talk!

    When you are a caterpillar, you are already a butterfly and yet it has not manifested….

    You live in a world in which you have the power to change things!

    Where would you like to be in your awareness one month from now?

    How do we awaken the imaginal cells and begin to imagine a world/family/individual in which there is peace? What does it look like, feel like, taste like, smell like?

    You cannot think your way in, but you can sing your way, dance your way, or draw your way in.

    Begin with asking: “What conditions are necessary for a world of peace — a world without hatred?”

    I received a text message:

    M: Good afternoon, Miss Debra. If you are not too busy, could you pendle some thing for me? My question is ready.

    D: No….There is a bit of a jokester energy present. Does that make sense?

    M: A medication was prescribed for one of our guys. It’s pretty heavy duty. I am so not sure whether to start the script.

    D: Do you have it with you?

    M: I actually haven’t picked it up yet. Probably I’ll go in a little while. Muscle test?

    D: Yes! Muscle test. Do you have the script or can you imagine holding it up to your heart?

    M: Nothing tangible.

    D: Let’s do it with intention.

    M: When you asked me if I could imagine holding it up to my heart, I heard that it’s not for me. LOL.

    D: Direct your intention. And thank them for clarifying for us. LOL.

    M: Yes. LOL. I got “maybe.”

    D: Similar here. I actually asked if it would be beneficial, and I heard “maybe.” I asked if it could be harmful, and I heard “maybe.”

    M: Yes, that’s how it comes to me.

    D: What I am immediately aware of is that we are so oriented to the “right or wrong” instead of realizing that Spirit can work with anything and everything.

    M: Ahhhhh….

    D: You could not take it out of fear and you are adding fear to your little guy. You could take it out of fear and you are adding fear to your little guy. You could take it out of love and be adding love. You could not take it out of love and be adding love. Make sense?

    M: Yes, and then what is my next best step. Maybe sit with it some more.

    D: When you find your center of peace, you will act from that. Make that your best step. I am certainly navigating this as well — with all of the medication John is on.

    M: Yes, I can feel that. I certainly appreciate your sharing your journey.

    Opening the Daily Word this morning, essentially the same message comes through in Colossians 3:14: Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

    This is called equanimity in Buddhism: Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. As in,”She accepted both the pleasant and the unpleasant with equanimity.”

    Perhaps our true mystic nature is awakening from it’s caterpillar stage. After all, you are already a butterfly….
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    P.S. Permission to share this from one of the Zoom attendees:

    I had an extraordinary experience in our little group. I turned three times and this painting just unfolded in 15 minutes!

    Thought of your writings today. Once I’d finished the painting, I looked outside and the trees and the leaves everywhere looked even more vibrant. Wow! It felt like, as we as humans become more awake, all of the flora, fauna, trees etc will flourish!!!

  • Game of Life: Pick-out-picks

    Sacred Stories

    Her husband had gone to the ER and been admitted to the hospital with a possible stroke. It had been a long day. She went to bed without running the garbage disposal so the following morning, as she readied to go to the hospital, she could smell the drain.

    Starting the water, then flipping on the garbage disposal, she was immediately greeted with an earsplitting grinding noise. GGGGRRRRRR

    Turning off the disposal and water, she reached down into the drain. Yikes. She recalled a couple of days prior when the weather was warm and she had the kitchen window open. The small container of toothpicks had blown into the sink, landing upside down. Obviously some toothpicks had spilled into the drain.

    Again she wrenched her hand into the hole, fishing out several partially ground toothpicks. She heard in her mind’s ear, “Do you want to do this on your own or would you like help?”

    She silently asked for help before reaching in again and again. Each time she was pulling out more splintered pieces before stopping to turn on the water and the disposal, checking to see if there was still a grinding noise.

    Time and time again with this tedious work until she found herself surprised that she was feeling playful!

    A sort of seek-and-find game emerged and it actually became fun. She was glad to have not turned the disposal on the previous night when she was too tired and stressed to enjoy the game. She could clearly see how life can be experienced from a playful point of view, even when things are difficult and ongoing.

    The following morning, a friend shared this quotation: When we spiritually awaken, our whole life changes from being hard and painful to becoming easier and happier, more pleasant and pain-free. ~ Jerry Hirschfield

  • Outside of the Lines

    “If a wild animal like a cheetah
    can be tamed into forgetting her power,
    forgetting her majesty,
    forgetting her wild —
    then so can a woman.”

    ~ Glennon Doyle Melton

    I watched an interview in which Glennon Doyle Melton reported an experience of going to the zoo and watching the “cheetah run” with her children. She describes a zookeeper coming out with a dog on a leash and saying this dog has been a companion of the cheetah and allowed them to train the cheetah. The dog ran the race, chasing a “dirty pink bunny” behind a vehicle. The the cheetah did the same thing.

    Inside her very body, mind, and spirit, she recognized the way we (women AND men) have been trained.

    It is difficult for me to separate my hearing Glennon’s words from other current conditions.

    I write to a friend:

    His kids are moving him to a memory care facility in Tennessee. I finally see what about that pisses me off. Moving him to a facility so they can watch him like an animal in a zoo. Not moving him into their home and making the commitment to care for his needs as one would care for a newborn baby.

    He is not doing any of the things that make this option out of the question. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t fight. He simply forgets whether he has eaten or is hungry; whether or not he has showered or shaved or gone to the bathroom.

    Mind you, I do not pretend to know what is best for him. My reaction is not about what is happening to him. It is about what is happening within me.

    I can feel some life-calling brewing. Like my dreams upon waking, I have insufficient recall of the details.

    Everything is related to everything. Reading Glennon’s book, “Love Warrior: A Memoir” and taking notes:

      Love Warrior: A Memoir
      By Glennon Doyle Melton

      (p. 144)
      I’m trying to fix my pain with certainty, as if I’m one right choice away from relief. I’m stuck in anxiety quicksand: The harder I try to climb my way out, the lower I sink. The only way to survive is to make no sudden movements, to get comfortable with discomfort, and to find peace without answers… There is only one strategy I can count on during this time: Just do the next right thing. One thing at a time.

      I can never glimpse the end of the path, but if I squint hard, I can see the next step.

      I say: Give me today my daily bread. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but today, give me enough energy and wisdom and strength and peace to handle what comes…. Help me ignore the big decisions, which will make themselves, and just help me focus on the small ones.
      ~~~~~~~

      (p. 195)
      My spiral staircase of progress means that my pain will be both behind me and in front of me, every damn day. I’ll never be “over it,” but I vow to be stronger each time I face it. Maybe the pain won’t change, but I will. I keep climbing.
      ~~~~~

      (p. 203)
      Our pain is not the poison; the lies about the pain are….

      Along the way, we’ve internalized the lies: You are supposed to be happy all the time. Everybody else is! Avoid the pain! You don’t need it, it’s not meant for you. Just push this button. Finally, I was being quiet and still enough to hear the truth: You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it calm, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.

    The threads are witnessed from a safe distance. The right religion. The right treatment. The right partner. As though there is such a thing. We try to find the truth about the tooth fairy by putting our teeth under our pillow. The lies must been brought into the light. Yes, the tooth is gone and there is a quarter (OK, too cheap for today…. there is a dollar) under my pillow, but that has nothing to do with the truth.

    On Easter Sunday morning I watched the replay of an April 5 IANDS interview “Overcoming The Challenges and Discovering the Gifts of Spiritual Experiences” with Dr. Nicole Gruel. I so relate to her saying that the top risk of NOTES (Non-Ordinary Transcendent Experiences) is the relationship loss as others (and we ourselves) cannot accept awarenesses of the larger reality accessed by our experience.

    I did not go out of my way to notice that dead people talk to us.

    I would never have gone.

    Nor did I willingly leave the safety of the cocoon of Christianity to recognize the SOURCE of all life is “present within” each religion, but not “contained within” it.

    I would never have gone.

    If I had known learning Healing Touch would drive me into decades of despair dancing with the egotism of allopathic medicine, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE.

    Something changes when you are opened to the reality of the ever-perfect within the ever-imperfect. Everything changes when you stop searching for the RIGHT choice about anything and let your inner radiance see the light that shines brightly upon a path to everything.

    Later in the day I also tuned in to the Deep Spring Center for Meditation Easter Sunday gathering where Barbara Brodsky and Colette Simone took turns channeling Jeshua and Mary. I made few notes but the notes I did make are significant: The point is not to get through the incarnation, but to consecrate the incarnation. Aware of where we would not have been open to the heart, now we are able to. WOW. We are doing it.

    Glennon said it this way: My spiral staircase of progress means that my pain will be both behind me and in front of me, every damn day. I’ll never be “over it,” but I vow to be stronger each time I face it. Maybe the pain won’t change, but I will. I keep climbing.

    It pisses me off that his family does not know him well enough to draw out of his decaying brain things that he still knows. That he will be in a sea of strangers ignorant of the truth of him as a brilliant university professor who assisted so many on the path of learning. That someone will give him chocolate chip cookies instead of his preferred oatmeal raisin.

    But even as I am willing to feel the heat of anger, I am also willing to feel the spaciousness of peace and trust.

    Perhaps I can stop saying I never would have gone and see that I am going again even now.

    Sharing with a friend via text this morning I wrote: Maybe the trick is learning that the REAL art is what we create outside of the lines.

    Perhaps creating outside of the lines is itself a non-ordinary transcendent experience….

  • Lizzie’s Libra Luna

    Sacred Stories

    Nine years earlier they had said goodbye to their beloved daughter, Lizzie.

    About 5 am the next morning she woke up awash in moonlight shining through the skylight!

    Later that morning her astrology app dinged in that the moon would be full in Libra – Lizzie’s sign.

    This full moon is called the Pink Moon, named after the herb moss pink, also known as creeping phlox. This plant is native to eastern America and one of the earliest widespread flowers of spring in North America.

    Pink is Lizzie’s favorite color!

    (April 2022 Pink Moon Meaning)


  • Treasure this Day

    If what I say resonates with you,
    it’s because
    we are both branches of the same tree.

    ~ W. B. Yeats

    I’m not a “follower” of astrology, but MANY years ago something occurred that led me to respect the wisdom there.

    Decades ago now, driving home on a snowy day, the roads were glare ice. Less than a block from home, I was blinded by a cloud of snow by a person blowing out his driveway. I rear-ended the car stopped to make a left-hand turn onto a side street. I was not considered at fault due to the unusual conditions and I did not receive a citation. But when I opened the paper a bit later at home, still shaken, my horoscope for the day read: The highway will not be a happy place for you today. Be careful, even on short trips.

    And now a warning?

    Perhaps just a coincidence, or more likely something ancient and pure and worthy of being reported in the bible as announcing the coming of Jesus.

    Yesterday’s comment by a friend about the current astrological line-up led me to look up The Cosmic Tides by Leah Whitehorse. Here is an excerpt from April 9, 2022: It’s imperative to take time out to reconnect with the emotional body before direct action. That way, we can tune into our gut instinct which tells us where to best place our energy and effort. There will be time enough to conquer goals and fight the good fight. Be tender with yourself. Listen to your feelings. Know where you belong. Never doubt that you are strong enough. Nothing can extinguish your inner flame.

    We have snow again today!

    Thought for Today from Deep Spring Center for Meditation:

      It is valuable to sit in private meditation. It is lovely to walk in the woods or on a warm and sandy beach and enjoy that beauty and sense of connection. Your joy at those moments does offer light, does have real value. But at physical levels it does not touch the fundamental deprivation in the world. How can you allow that connection with spirit to begin to transform the world? This does not mean you should not take holidays, but your work is in the world. How do you bring joy and love back into the stressful situations? Would you worship a hollow god that stands above the world, superior to the world, that will not get its feet dirty? Would you strive to pull yourself up to those heights and leave the world to suffer with itself in the dark alleys? Or do you give your love to a loving God, a God willing to partake in pain through entering the human illusion?

      ~ Aaron

    A couple of days of hard work has rendered our tiny house clean and neat and ready for visitors. It is funny that our seasonal home on Bounty Lane is the larger space. Just as we squeeze back into 1,120 square feet, we continue to share one vehicle (writing all of our “times I need the car” on the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall).

    Already this morning I have done 45 minutes of chanting and some yoga. I will at some point go over to the community room and ride the stationary bike while John walks on the treadmill. We await warm weather that welcomes walking and biking in the beautiful Michigan outdoors.

    Treasure this day and treasure yourself.
    Truly, neither will ever happen again.

    ~ Ray Bradbury (Gratefulness.org “Word for the Day” April 9, 2022)