Debra Basham

Living and Loving

Author: Debra Basham

  • MDS Leukemia and Seeing God Clearly

    It had only been one day earlier she had been on the phone with a friend/colleague for 90 minutes. The friend had received a diagnosis of MDS Leukemia.

    Her friend was a Nurse Practitioner, so no novice to medical information. The prognosis for myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS) — sometimes called pre-leukemia — varies widely. Median survival ranges from about 9 months for very high-risk disease to over 8 to 12 years for very low-risk disease. About one-third of patients progress to acute myeloid leukemia (AML). Outlook depends heavily on individual risk scores, blood counts, and genetic features.

    “There’s a reason for everything,” her friend had said, “this is bigger than me.”

    Her friend’s to-do list included:
    1. Remember to live in the moment.
    2. Pay attention to right effort.
    3. Follow inner guidance.

    They spoke of aspects of global healing practices they knew of and many things that might best support living, rather that just trying not to die. They read from Louise Hay; they talked about Dr. Alex Howard’s saying we are all healing from childhood emotional neglect; and they agreed about the need for boundaries and creating a sense of safety, while cultivating self-love and joy.

    The following day this showed up in her inbox:

    Today, Steve talks about his response to his cancer diagnosis.

    The Daily Tejaniya
    Jan. 17, 2026

    Recently, I’ve had a precious opportunity to use Sayadaw’s
    practice in my life, along with other meditation approaches
    I’ve learned over the years.

    In February 2018, I was diagnosed with glioblastoma, a highly
    aggressive brain cancer. The disease is terminal, not a good
    prognosis. But from the first day, I honestly have never had
    fear, nor hope.

    Instead, I have been very interested in everything that’s going
    on, including the pain and suffering that happens.

    ❤️🙏

    The remarkable thing is, she doesn’t remember having seen this 7 months earlier and she does not remember having forwarded it to a person named Doug. She cannot explain how it got into her hands today after talking to her friend the day before and learning of her diagnosis and witnessing how her friend intends to navigate all she is facing.

    And this quote also showed up on her Facebook page:
    “The moment you come to trust chaos, you see God clearly. Chaos is divine order, verses human order. Change is divine order, verses human order. When the chaos becomes safety to you, then you know you’re seeing God clearly.” ~ Caroline Myss

  • Tooth Fairy and Reiki

    A prism is a clear glass or plastic block with flat, angled sides. When white light shines through it, the prism bends the light and splits it into a rainbow of colors. This happens because different colors travel at different speeds and bend by different amounts.

    This is how life feels in its unfolding right now….

    On August 12, 2026, a powerful Total Solar Eclipse in Leo served as the central astrological event, initiating a transformative eclipse corridor. This major celestial shift triggers profound personal adjustments, structural changes, and fated new beginnings. August 12 is a significant anniversary event in my life. On August 12, 1962, I was a passenger in the vehicle with my dad when a car missed a stop sign and stopped in the middle of a through street where we were traveling over 50 miles per hour. Our car hit hers broadside. I had what I have come to call a near-death experience. For sure, it was an out-of-body experience.

    While a specific event is over in an instant, just as different colors travel at different speeds and bend by different amounts creating a prism when white light shines through a clear glass or plastic block with flat, angled sides, events have lasting effects. Thus, 64 years later, I am still integrating the facets that impact has on what I experience as facts. I often do a lot of air-braking when a passenger in a car, and I may never fully recognize how that event has shaped my world view.

    Recently, I was saddened to read a Facebook post by a person who had just days before excitedly reached out to me about reopening her Reiki practice. Her post was an apology asking for understanding,”I am truly sorry but after talking to loved ones who know me as a child of God, I will not be following through the Reiki sessions.”

    Reading this did inspire some sharing when I was guest pastor serving a small, remnant congregation at St. John UCC in New Buffalo. “If a person who believes in the Tooth Fairy and prays to the Tooth Fairy, does a healing session asking the Tooth Fairy to heal another person, and that person has a healing, do any of you believe the Tooth Fairy did the healing?” I asked. I was greeted with blank stares and negative head-shakes. I am hard pressed to think I could find anyone who would actually think the Tooth Fairy did the healing.

    Something is real. But what is perceived as real is what is believed to be real. And there can be a huge gap between.

    Over a series of Sunday’s we have been exploring the way perceptions and beliefs shape our experience. If I see a stick but I believe I am seeing a snake, my body will react exactly as it would if it was an actual snake.

    It is easy to understand how things like social media and AI generates beliefs by intentionally manipulating perception. It is not quite as easy to understand how being human does the same thing.

    There was a time in human evolution that the world was seen and believed to be flat. You have to wonder how many other antiquated beliefs you or I are being driven by.

    Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials website has an article “What Is Reiki? And Does It Actually Work?” by Melissa Evans Persensky:

      “There are only so many things you can study in randomized, controlled studies in order to understand the totality of what is likely to happen,” Dr. Saper explains. “I think it’s critical that we as healthcare professionals listen to our patients and validate their experiences, even if their experiences may run counter to one’s own experience and training.”

      In other words, science may not prove that Reiki harnesses a universal life force energy. We may not have statistical proof that Reiki will improve your chronic pain, reduce your anxiety or help you get the sleep you need. But if you try it and you feel better, sleep better and live a better life … that’s still worth paying attention to. Regardless of what science says (or doesn’t say).

    While Stacey was here visiting, she went to church with us. The theme was Doubting Thomas and we explored the difference in meeting doubt by leaning into curiosity or by leaning into skepticism. The scripture was based on Jesus saying, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” ~ John 20:29

    As we were navigating the territory of our differing beliefs, I said I was not trying to change another’s beliefs. I did confess to be encouraging all humans to notice even closely-held beliefs might be distorted. Healing does happen, but not likely by the tooth fairy….

  • Help from Martin

    Following several strong storms this summer, I have often seen an elder person using a grabber/reacher to pick up myriad branches and twigs dumped onto the sizable lawn.


    This day, since the person was very near the road, as I rode by on my bike I spoke, “It is a beautiful morning.”

    Shocked to hear a female voice reply, I circled my bike back around. “You are a woman,” I blurted out! I had only seen this person dressed in worker attire, wearing a baseball cap and a mask, and I had assumed it was a man.

    She told me she has a lot of allergies so she wears a mask everywhere she goes and always has it on when she is working out in the yard.

    Fifty-two years ago they bought this house. Her husband, Martin, passed in 2015. Her name is Gloria.

    “He is still taking care of me,” she says as she uses her grabber-reacher tool to pick up another twig before going on to explain,”had I gone to get the roll-out trash bins, I could have been right there when that big limb came crashing down.”

    The vulnerable trees in their back yard are scheduled to be removed soon….

  • Banner

    This morning I was dreaming upon waking: I am in my final childhood home. The basement is flooded. At the bottom of the stairs, it is over ankle deep. I go down and start moving stuff to get the door open so we can get the water out. A man and woman are outside waiting for me to give the word. (Mom and dad?) It is quite dark down here and the water is cold, but I stay focused and am making good progress before I wake up .

    After I am up and have written down my dream I look up the dream symbolism: Wet basement in dream meaning: Unprocessed emotions, hidden stress or deep unconscious overwhelm. In dream symbolism, a house represents your inner self, the basement reflects your foundational unconscious or past, and water stands for your feelings. Emotional overload/ feelings or responsibilities you have bottled up that are now seeping into your awareness.

    This reminds me of yesterday’s sharing with our eldest grand, Brad, about giving ourselves a pass….

    I went to visit a dear, dear, friend today. We spoke candidly about the difficulty that can come when there is need to be a receiver of care. We so prefer to be the one giving.

    I shared part of Barbara Brodsky’s blog post from a few days ago.

    Three nights ago, at bedtime, my beloved almost 11 year old collie, Banner, (my hearing – dog) suddenly could not stand up. We have a routine of many years; I shut off the tv or close my book, say ”bed time” and we both get up quickly and head to the bedroom. He tried to stand; his 4 paws were sliding to the sides on the hardwood floor, with no traction, and he couldn’t get them under him. He was terrified.

    I woke up Hal’s caregiver who lives downstairs and he brought up the old living room rug that we’d stored in the basement for wheelchair/ walker safety, put it down and lifted him on top of it and Banner rested there for 15 minutes while I just patted him and spoke to him. Then I got up and he did too. Just stood up!

    Our human minds return to “I can’t” and fear. His mind and body just responded by standing to follow me to the bedroom. The next day, he was happily playing with our granddaughter, with no sign of weakness. Fear and its stories really do block us humans from a deeper reality.

    Today I could feel in both my friend and myself the letting down of old habits of wanting to not need help. Then this afternoon, I opened email from my mentor/friend Betty Lue Lieber, in which she had included the message for today from the Daily Word:

    Pray for Others

    Praying for others is a sacred gift I love to give.

    Friday July 24, 2026

    When a friend or loved one is going through a challenge, I try to help however I can. When I’ve offered all I can and it seems there is nothing else I can do, I pray.

    Prayer is the greatest gift I have to give. Regardless of whether someone knows I am praying, my prayers enfold them in love and care. As I pray, I feel my connection in Spirit to that person. I touch the presence of infinite light, life, love, and peace within them. I have faith these qualities are opening the avenue to unlimited good.

    My prayer extends from my circle of loved ones to enfold my larger community and the world. I pray each person knows they deserve a joyous, prosperous, fulfilling life.

    I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail.—Luke 22:32

    This brings to mind the Biblical story of a man who had been paralysed for 38 years. Jesus simply told him to pick up his mat and walk. May we, may all beings, receive support and love and encouragement so completely we, too, can be freed from suffering.

    (Also from Betty Lue’s message:)
    “Prayer For A Loved One”

    Dear Heart,
    I will not worry, fret or be unhappy over you.
    I will not be anxious concerning you.
    I will not be afraid for you.
    I will not give up on you.
    I will not blame, criticize or condemn you.
    I will remember first, last and always that you are God’s child, that you have His Spirit in you.
    I will trust this Spirit to take care of you, to be a light to your path, to provide for your needs.
    I will think of you as always being surrounded by God’s loving Presence, enfolded in His protecting care, as kept safe and secure in Him.
    I will be patient with you.
    I will have confidence in you.
    I will stand by you in faith, and bless you in my prayers, knowing that you are growing, knowing that you are finding the help you need, the love you need, the healing you need, the financial freedom you need.
    I have only good feelings in my heart about you.
    I am willing to let you live your life as you see fit.
    Your way may not be my way, but I will trust the Spirit of God in you to show you the way of your highest Good.
    God loves you and I love you!
    I have confidence in you and I believe in you!!
    (author unknown)

  • D-O-N-N-Y

    At over ninety years of age, it is a shock to lose an adult child. Her son, Donny, had passed two years prior when she had the phone ring just one ring and stop.

    Once.

    Twice.

    Three times.

    She decided to go to the phone in the house that had a caller identification feature. She could have never imagined what she would see when the phone rang a fourth time!

    The caller ID showed five simple letters that meant everything to her: D-O-N-N-Y

    Many cultures interpret sudden electronic malfunctions or random rings as a comforting psychological or spiritual sign of remembrance. To this day, she draws comfort from his call.

  • Mints – A Double

    Soon after the husband of her friend had passed the white-with-red-stripes, soft, sugary mints he loved gifting to his wife started showing up. (See “Mints”.)

    For over 20 years now, this particular type of soft mint had been recognized as a welcome message of his everlasting love!

    While planning to be visiting with their family in Tennessee, they learned the husband of a couple they had gotten to know through their daughter had just died. The funeral was taking place while they were there and they were going to be able to go. In the long line waiting to visit with the wife before the funeral started, she spotted a dish of the special mints across the room. She went over, picked up two, snapped a photo, and sent that to her friend.

    After the funeral, as she was exiting the building, she walked back to the bowl to get a few more for her friend. When she looked closer, there was a double!

    The precious response to this photo of the double was, “I am always touched when a double appears.”

    It seemed a perfect assurance that this friend, too, would be faithfully watching over his wife….

  • Molly and OJ’s

    He went out with friends for the first time in over a year — not since his wife had been diagnosed with brain cancer.

    Molly and OJ’s had about 40 moon-shaped lights ceiling lights.

    As they began talking and laughing about old times, the light directly above him at their table started flashing!

    Every time he started laughing, that light started blinking!

    They all said, “There’s our Eli!”❤️❤️❤️

  • Door Prize!

    His wife had just passed on June 28. Friends were telling him the importance of doing those things they loved doing, even if it was difficult. So, he took the car to the Ridgetown Rotary Antique Car and Tractor Show, Sunday, July 12, 2026, at Watson Grove Park.

    When the winning number for the door prize was called, his was just two digits off. They were all joking that she was trying to help him win but she missed the mark by just a bit!

    The number was announced again. After a third time when no one came forth to claim the prize, it was announced another ticket would be drawn.

    He won!

    He got a battery booster, and a $75 dollar certificate toward new tires.

    If his ticket number had been called the first time they might have missed it. The most valuable “prize” he won was blessed assurance she really was still helping him….

  • “Lefty”

    His daughter let him know of the passing of an out-of-state friend. He was scheduled to be visiting his daughter and family the following week. He could be there to attend the funeral. Sitting down at the dining table to eat his breakfast he began reading the obituary, and casually said aloud, “Alexa, shuffle songs by Merle Haggard.”

    He had not really been noticing what was playing. But the line, “Lefty, he can’t sing the blues all night long like he use to,” from the song Lefty and Poncho certainly caught his attention. He knew it was a God-incidence.

    Although he had never known their friend’s formal name, the obituary read:

    John Alvin “Lefty” Barnett!

    A wave doesn’t just roll into the shore. It also rolls back out to sea. If it didn’t roll back out to sea, it couldn’t roll into the shore. And that is the human existence. If we didn’t come into these bodies, we wouldn’t leave these bodies. And if we didn’t leave these bodies, we wouldn’t come into these bodies. That is the nature of the eternal existence. ~ Debra Basham 7-10-2026

  • Allow the Loss to Lead the Way

    I bumped into Brian D. Smith’s Grief 2 Growth program years ago and saw his What Is a Grief Doula? What Dina Bell-Laroche Taught Me About Grieving Well today. Dina Bell-Laroche is a Certified Thanatologist, grief doula, keynote speaker, and author of Grief Unleashed.

    In 2001, her younger sister, Tracy, passed away from a rare cancer at just 29 years old. Tracy was pregnant with her first child when she was diagnosed. She lived to hold her baby, and passed thirteen months later, just after he turned one.

    Brian shared that when he asked Dina to tell him about Tracy right at the top of their conversation, she paused with gratitude and said, “That’s often something that really opens up the grief heart, is when we invite them to speak their person’s name. So often we’ll talk about our daughter that died or our parent or our sister, but we don’t actually use their name because it hurts so much. And yet when we do, it makes it real and profound, and we can be witnessed in that experience.”

    Brian responded, “I understand that in my bones. I say Shayna’s name every chance I get. Naming keeps them present.”

    Brian says Dina talked about two kinds of time: clock time we all recognize and kairos time. Dina explains, “Our bodies understand a different language than our head does. We understand chronological time, chronos time. And yet we also have kairos time. This is this liminal space that you and I dance in.

    “In kairos time, grief collapses distance. A smell, a song, a stranger who walks like your person, and suddenly you’re back in the moment they took their last breath.”

    Dina told Brian these are called STUGS, sudden temporary upsurges in grief. The term was coined by thanatologist Therese Rando, and Dina said reading it brought her enormous relief. She thought she was going crazy.

    Then she offered something beautiful: “STUGS can also stand for sudden temporary upsurges in grace“.

    I had my own STUGS as I realized just how much grief I am processing currently. Oh, some of it is the deaths of dear ones in the recent past. I name my friend (Linda Higbee), my sister (Johnnie Sue), our long-time music friend (Michael), our dear Florida friend in Canada (Eli). Some aspects of the experience are anticipatory loss, often referred to as pre-grieving. This type of grief includes people I have concern for, but is not limited only to this. It also includes the losses of our own aging. Pieces of this grief, I am quite sure, are universal, and perhaps at the moment not personal.

    At the time I sat on the porch tearfully expressing what I was feeling today to John after writing just the two opening paragraphs, I had not yet received news about the passing of a friend of Stacey’s in Tennessee that John and I have had the pleasure of getting to know, and a friend of John’s brother Greg, that they have been having a fabulous time shooting pool with on Monday nights.

    A couple of powerful truths:

    Doctors are trained to see death as the ultimate failure. Their role ends when the body stops. We’re taught to fight the one thing guaranteed to happen to every single one of us.

    Pushing grief out of view only sends it underground.

    In the Grief Journey Group we started here in Saint Joseph in 2000 we said you do not get over grief, you get through it. We had only two rules in our group: Do not judge your grief journey, and do not judge another’s. We looked a lot at the way different cultures deal with grief. And we acknowledged experiences we have that remind us people do leave their bodies but they do not leave their loved ones.

    The uncomfortable feelings are feedback that I have more energy to process than my central nervous system can handle all at once. That is why it is called a grief journey…. These feelings are a result of our love.

    In Grief 2 Growth Brian speaks of love that continues and the ways pain can become purpose. Appreciating this beautiful body of work. Thank you, Brian and Dina.

    As she says, “Let us allow the loss to lead the way.”